I'm 15 years old, and for about the past 6 months I've been feeling depressed and completely dead inside. It started off when I had a sudden anxiety attack, I had no idea what was going on but ever since I've had pretty bad anxiety which varies between months. It started just after I'd finished some exams. Depression kind of came with that, and all I feel now is nothing. At all. I wake up, go to school, come home, go to sleep. I don't feel happy or sad or excited or anything. I just feel like I'm dead, or walking around in a dream. I don't feel alive. Before I felt like this I felt very depressed and suicidal for a few months. I haven't told my mum because she's got enough to deal with and I don't want to burden her, and I just feel like I can't tell her about it even though we are really close. I don't want to go to the doctor because then I'd have to tell my mum and they'd only probably put me on pills but idek. When it comes to my feelings and all that crap I'm not an open person, I don't open up to anyone. It's not that I've had a bad life, I've had quite a good one but I guess I've just had a lot of small, ****** things happen to me and idk, maybe I just got sick of feeling like sh*t all the time and shut myself down.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared, I feel like I've lost myself and I'm scared that I'll never feel normal again. I used to be a happy, confident kid and idk what happened. If anyone has been through the same thing and has beaten it, what did you do? How did you cope? If anyone knows what I should do, anything would be grateful.
If you've read all that, then honestly thank you.