i think i want to die

[roxy415]

I'm pregnant and I can't help but feel like  going to fail this child its to late for abortion and I don't believe in adoption and then just the fact I don't want to live anymore I'm homeless on methadone (at a clinic and been clean for 4 years) I'm married but seperated (but were talking) I have a boyfriend who is more like a best friend who I broke it off with today I don't know who's the father is and they both want to be part of the baby and my life and I just want to be alone but I can't do it by myself I just wish I would not wake up tomorrow and spare me and my child from a life time of pain please god I'm tired of having a bunch of people around and still felling alone I don't think I will do anything stupid but I really do wish it would all end

[nursegirl6572]

You need to seek help, hon, and asap.  Pregnancy causes so much of an emotional roller coaster ride as it is, but then you've got a lot going on in your life as well.  You need to let your doctor know how you're feeling.

As for the other stuff, you can help yourself by minimizing some of the unnecessary drama when you can.  Like trying to maintain a relationship with two men at the same time...that will never work.  You said you're talking to your husband, that's great.  Put your time and effort into working on your marriage, preferably with a counselor.  If you don't take the other man out of the picture completely, your marriage doesn't stand a chance.  You need to work through those issues, giving your marriage a chance.  You may discover that you're better off with NEITHER man as a partner, and that would be okay too...just for now, work on what you should be working on, which is trying to see where your marriage stands.

You can establish paternity when the baby is born, and then you can deal with that.  Right now, it's pointless to worry about it, and I wouldn't get into big back and forths about how much these guys want to be there for the baby.  When the time comes, and paternity is revealed, then you can have those discussions.  Right now, it just adds stress.

Do you have any close family or friends?  You need a support system.

If I may ask, why don't you believe in adoption?  It's a WONDERFUL gift and a great way to handle an unplanned pregnancy that also gives the gift of a child to people who can't have them alone.  I was adopted and have had an amazing life.  I couldn't thank my b-mom more.  She did the selfless thing of putting my needs before her emotions.  Just something to think about.  With adoption, there are all kinds of options, including open adoptions.  With you not having a place to live, it sounds like adoption was be a very viable and reasonable option for you.

Very best to you, be sure to update us okay?

[CRSeaside]

I understand. If you have access to a movie watch pay it forward. Juno. Take your mind off your situation.  
  There are free support groups thru NAMI web site.  
  Please keep posting.  Do take it slow. One moment at a time. Pamela

[wilsonmadison]

Hey, Please do not feel like helpless. Your child will be your hope of living. Do not think of it ever. Life is beautiful and you should respect it. You are depressed. Try to control your depression in order to get your life back. I hope you will take it into your consideration before taking any step.