I really understand how you feel. I have that fear ALL THE TIME. Things are just constantly bad. Anytime things start getting good, something horrible happens, so I don't even have the strength anymore to hope for things to get better.
I know you might not want to hear this, but try talking to a therapist. Just talking to someone who knows what you're going through and the best way to handle might help the hopelessness. They can also suggest prescription, if you need it.
You are not losing your sanity, and you are not alone. People are here for you, okay?
Thank you Arsia, just knowing someone really understand what I'm going through really makes me feel better. I guess I really have to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through this fear is just making me sick. Thanks again its' really a great help since I live in a very conservative country where issues like I'm going through is not very well discussed I'm glad I could find people from other places whom I can share my burdens. God bless.
Of course, I'm always here. :] Being conservative isn't bad, I just think they should be a little more open minded. So situations like this can be avoided. :/