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Avatar universal

I dont know if this depression or just baby blues

1 month ago I had my baby but im fine with her but my partner and mum keep arguing and feel like a reff its making me feel sad all the time and i keep breaking down crying im finding it hard being happy about anything and I cant get a break from it because of the arguing and I dont want to start fights but I dont want to lose eather of them and its just making feel totally at a lose and sad all the time
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6827092 tn?1389384819
Hi, I am sorry you have to go through this all.
I think it is just a combination of hormones and circumstances. After having a baby hormones are a bit crazy. It will settle but it takes time. I personally had also bad memory due to lack of sleep and started to function again after 6 months or so.
The arguments are obviously making you sad as your partner and your mum are the most important people for you - after your baby of course.
Any chance you can have a serious talk with both of them to stop it? I mean a talk not a fight. Like to tell them how sad you are etc. and that you need they just manage with each other? Or even write each of them a letter if it is impossible to talk to them without a fight?
All the best. Marie x
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Avatar universal
Thank you ive tride and they just starting go how its all each others fault nun of theres and they say they know its upseting me but I should sort out eachother
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6827092 tn?1389384819
I so feel for you. :( They didn't get it. :(
I truly believe you don't care whose fault is what - you just want they go along in peace.
We had a training at work years ago related to such situations. The main messages were: don't say anything what is not helpful and praise for everything. It means if you find any even little positive thing on their behavior to each other praise them for it. It sounds weird but it works.
I would really try the letter as they will read it in their time - rather without you being there. Again write them how you feel and that you don't want and won't be a reff in between them. They are adults - the choices are theirs. They can carry on like that - hurting you and destroying your home or they can choose to behave. You can't do much more without outside help. Maybe some family counseling?  Maybe to tell your doctor and ask him to talk to them?
Ohhh that's so awful. Try to enjoy your baby as much as you can. They grow so fast. Do not let them destroy you. Would it be helpful to go out with a baby when they start to argue? Visit friends, go shopping, for a walk just to get out of it?
When my son was born I lived with his father but he jealous on a baby ( stupid I know). I was devastated but it made even bigger bond between me and my son. I really enjoyed him and loved to take him to the park or elsewhere. So maybe it could be another strategy to try to distance yourself a bit till they sort themselves out.
Keep us posted. All the best. Marie xxx

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Avatar universal
Go stay with someone else, they are out of order !

It is very hard to cope with a new baby, you need support, is there anywhere else you can find it?
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1128565 tn?1316721143
Hi I had post natal depression years ago so understand how sensitive you can be. However you would be sensitive any way with your hormones all over the place. I think you are more sensitized at the minute and you need to explain to them how you feel about the arguments.
Don't take any pills you can ask for progesterone if you have got a touch of the baby blues. Don't and loose years of your life on pills.
You look after yourself and your baby you both need a peaceful time !
God Bless
Lorraine x

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