The Venting Thread - What's on Your Mind?

[LeftCoastChick]

This is a thread for you to just plain vent your frustrations about your illness. How it's effected you, if you're tired of treatment/medication, or if you feel people around you just don't understand. The only 'requirements' are that we keep the language clean, and we don't bash our fellow members as those will result in having the offending post deleted.

My goal with this thread is to lift each other up and offer positive support. If it becomes popular, we can do one a week.

Who wants to be first?

[myturn535]

I'm tired of feeling quilty about the pain of my depression because my problems may not be as bad as others.  I feel I am constantly grieving over the people I have lost and constantly thinking of how many more there are to lose. I am always counting how many more years they may have to live. Now that my older daughter said she may move away and my younger one has moved out, I feel I am just left to wait to bury the rest. I just want to enjoy some of my life now that I am done taking care of everyone. I am only 54 and can't bear the thought of life without these people in it. I just feel I want to go now so the pain will go away. I am so tired of crying and the constant heartache. Thanks for listening, it does help.

[opus88]

GREAT SUBJECT!!!
my vent is simple the lingering STIGMA of mental illness
and consequently the need to wear a public MASK in order not to be labeled as unfit!
I agree totally with the perception that all the SHOULDS will actually make everything all better for us all that suffer with depression!!!

[15goingonextinct]

i'm 15 and i've been depressed for years. i feel like i cant tell anyone. i cut myself and i just want to die. why is this happening to me? i have a good life. no one seems to understand. they think im the nerd in the corner with no problems.

[pookie970]

i hate feeling sick all the time and fear oh the fear i wish i could be like all the smiling people i havent work off an on for a month or more my boyfriend is getting tired of it iam sure WHY WHY WHY god ki hate this i just want to be normal

[Lucey12]

I am the same. My man will leave in the morning, and Im happy and then Il have a thought and my whole day turns and when he comes home at lunch Im numb, bitter and depressed. Usually its like that for the whole night, he knows it too. he says are you going to be like this for the rest of the night now? I feel bad, he deserves more, my family deserves more. It ***** cuz the rest of my family is really happy and funny and then there is me, and I put on the face and try so hard but im so far from happy. Im so depressed that I havnt eatten today and puked up the milk I drank. I just want to be happy. I tried to tell my fiance I didnt want to be with him cuz Im not happy but didnt know how to say its not him its that I dont want to bring him down with me.
Thanks for listening, This is a great forum.

[crislsoul]

  i suffer from chronic pain, depression, and now BPD which Ii think i had all along. Have not worked since 2002 and i actually feel guilty like i do not contribute to society. i am always anxious and really can not stand social settings or friends or even family anymore.i am so sick of being sick.i'm so tired of waking up every am. sleep seems to be the only time that im not in pain or depressed or anxious or angry.
It is a hard road for sure.i read (the Secret) over and over it is my bible. But trying to think good thoughts can be so hard when one min. you're sad and the next angry or in pain. I just started a mood stabilizer and hope it will help. i just get so tired of life.