I have lived with depression since about the age of 12 when I hit puberty. Throughout this time (12 to now 24) I am rearly happy, nothing in my life makes me happy and even when I become happy about something, I will always find something about what Im happy about, to be sad or depressed about. I hope you get what I mean. It's not like I live a bad life, I have a partner who loves me to death, a beautiful home full of new toys and gadgets and drive a nice SUV, In times ( here anyway ) were jobs are rough and low paying, I have a decent job with decent pay and live a good life, yet none of this makes me happy. I was diagnosed with severe depression after my third suiside attemt, wich if I didn't have close friends I wouldn't be here today. Getting to my point for the last month I have been taking a half pill of valium or diazepam not sure wich one,( it has a letter "G" on it kinda like the LG electroincs symbol ) and ever since I have been doing this, Im living an entire different life! I no longer feel like life is a pointless hell, I enjoy going to work my sex life hasent been better and my self confidence it through the roof. I feel like a totally different person, I feel like I person I used to be, outgoing, funny and the life of the party, Everyone keeps sayin "We got our Joey back" The down side is im buying these pills illegaly from a friend and need to know why this drug is affecting me like this, and if I talked to my doctor about this if he would laugh at me. This works for me, no antidepressnt has ever workd, usually making thigs worse. So please do you have any answers??