I have never once thought of myself as depressed. That being said, my whole life, I have been unable to focus on just about anything. I am a jack of all trades you could say, I pick everything I try up extremely easily, but within a very short time, I lose interest in it. This includes schoolwork, which is really dragging me down because I'm in college right now.
I also have trouble caring about things. Things such as death, money, relationships, anything really, I don't think I care about them. Every once in a while I'll be struck by episodes where I feel intense love for something or someone, but that lasts a day or two and then I become emotionless again. Not to say I don't feel humor, or anger, or sadness, I just can't really make a lasting emotional attachement, even to my parents.
I also talk to myself, a lot, even though I don't realize I'm doing it. I will literally have an entire conversation with myself, complete with disagreements, and not realize it until it is over.
I don't care about money, collecting it or spending it. I don't buy anything for desire, only for practicality. If I need it, I will buy it.
I have very potent fantasies, usually depicting myself as a hero, saving someone from an unnamed threat, whether it be terrorists or monsters. Usually they end with me rendering the villains unconscious, but never killing any of them. I have never even fantasized about killing anything, and shooting video games make me uncomfortable.
I have never struck anyone in anger in my whole life, because I am afraid of seriously hurting someone. I tend to imagine myself as incredibly strong, and if I were to hit someone, they would end up with far more injury than could be justified.
I have quite a few friends, and I enjoy spending time with them. However, there are a lot of times when I crave being alone.
It's not that I'm a sociopath or anything, I actually am great at meeting people, and develop friendships very quickly and very easily. I just don't put any emotional attachement into the relationships I make.
I have had four concussions in my life, and have never had a brain MRI. I think I might have hypothyroidism, because I gain weight very quickly, even when I eat very little; I am apathetic; and I cannot concentrate on anything.
I don't want to take any kind of depression drugs, ever. But I'm wondering if I indeed have a problem that should be checked out by a psychoanalyst.