I am so sorry that you are going through so much. It is too much for one person to cope with, of course it is. I do hope you only look up the word suicide, but do not actually want to take your own life. I took an overdose once, but it affected my family, and I never tried again.
Depression is a difficult illness to deal with, and I do hope you have been to your doctor and discussed how you are feeling, and have got some help from them. I know the feeling of not being able to cope. Depression takes away so much from us. I know your life is falling to pieces at the moment.
Keep writing here, and we will "talk" if that will help you. I am so sorry you have cancer and that in itself is difficult to cope with. Hopefully your son will not be sent to jail. Take one day at a time. Sorry if I am no help, but I have been in the depths of depression in the past, and now I am feeling I can cope with life again.
hang in there storm clouds do pass all this is makeing you stronger think about this there are people that go through far worse when i am feeling down i think of that it helps some also you cant go heaven if you take a life including your own; God has plans for you good ones God bless you