what's wrong with suicidal thoughts?

[dealingwithpains]

I am sleepy all the time.
All I want to do is stay in bed and sleep all day, all night.
I want to go to sleep and I wish I don't have to open my eyes at all.

I hate living
Death is a lot easier

I am always trying to run away from everything
I am sick of everything
I've done my best with everything
I've done enough with myself, with my life

Aren't we supposed to have freedom to kill ourselves?
It's My choice. No one is going to live my life for me.
It's Me, that I have to go through all these pains...

I don't want to deal with anything any longer...
I am so tired...

Now I have psychosis. I feel like some kind of fume is coming from my nose.
I have hard time breathing and it's just so painful to inhale or exhale...

[ILADVOCATE]

Its not as much of a "freedom" as you think it is. Please don't even consider it as an option. If you feel tired and ennervated all the time that could be from the depression in addition to the suicidal ideations. You don't have to feel this way. Speak to a psychiatrist about this and once medication is started or adjusted things will improve as they have for many of us here.

[flob]

i've read your other posts and am concerned about your well being. are you already discussing these thoughts with a doctor? i think it would be nearly impossible to find someone suffering from depression who hasn't considered ending it all...we've all considered it at some point or another. but considering it is different than the desire to embrace it. reading a few short paragraphs about a persons situation isn't nearly enough to even come close to understanding their situation...but one thing is clear from what you said and that is you should really be talking with a doctor. good doctors have helped many people go from your line of thinking to a more healthy way of thinking...are you already seeing one?

[Hensley258]

You sound exactly like me when I am in a total relaps.

I have had severe depression for 19 years and counting. With the help of a good Psychiatrist I manage to get about 5 months per year in semi remission. At least enough for me to fuction at a basic level anyway.

The other part of the year I spend tormented and sick just like you. Same feelings, same suicidal thoughts and the same inability to do anything productive.

I guess I just savor the times when my P-doc hits on a working med combination for me that gives me life for a short time. I try to get as much done in that time as I can because I know the beast will be back soon.

No, I'm not Bi-polar. I just have long periods like your at now and some short periods where I feel close to normal. Never uporic or energetic.

Regarding our death. Yea, your right and I will agree. Death would be easier for people like you and I, but my problem with that is that if I do that then I never get to see how it ends naturally. I figure at the rate my depression is progressing that it will soon kill me anyway so why rush the process. I already have permenent nerve damage from all the countless medications I have taken for so long and so many years.

Suicide is easy. It's sticking it out and forcing it to kill you on its own that is the real measure of bravery. And besides you never know, what if we do kill ourselves and then a year later a major discovery is made in our treatment? It could happen. You never know what may be discovered to help us. That alone is worth living for.

Suicide is a long term solution to a temporary problem..... I'm not so sure I beleive the person that told me that, but I just had two good months on a new tri-cyclic medication that my P-doc gave me. You never know what might work.

It's easy to give up but It takes balls to stick it out and take it. Well I'm not going to stop fighting for my life. It's not important to anyone else, but it still holds at least some value to me.

Do like I do. Just take life in small little bites. One day, then the next day, and so on it goes.

[whodunnit]

Hi there,

Death is easy? Are you kidding? Nothing could be further from the truth. If it was easy there would be no people at all now would there?

You say it's your choice. Sure it is, no wil stop you if you really want to. Say nothing and do it but that's not how it works is it?

You see you are here crying out for help and you will be doing the same at home and with friends. You are giving out warning signs and the most important person to notice those signs is YOU.

The normal message is if you have suicidal thoughts make an appointment quickly but if you start fantasising about it head for the Emergency Ward. You're in the second group as you are in what I call the "poetry phase". That is, a rather morbid, melancholic view of life which you are trying to romanticise but the truth is you cannot do that with suicide. It's extremely hard to try, terribly painful to suffer and often you fail and just destroy some of your brain or body.

Get off your bed and go to the hospital and seek help and stop hurting yourself with these thoughts as that's all they are. Thoughts.