how do i deal with all this

[krissy1998]

hi im a 17 year old girl i have alot going on my great grandmother just died my grandfather is in the hospital i could possibly get taken away from my family and placed in foster care i have alot of pressure christmas is getting canceled for the second time in a row my boyfriend doesnt wanna talk to me im also trying to pass my permit test get a job and pass my ged at the same time i may have breast cancer nobody wants to talk to me and i ant talk to anybody because they will think im selfish to want to celebrate christmas after my great grandmothers death christmas is the only time of the yea ri dont question why im here and i dont want to kill myself but now that i know its not coming i wanna kill myself its hard keeping al of it in but thats the only thing i can do and i know when my grandmother comes home she will yell and cuss me out for wanting to celebrate christmas i dont know what to do i have no friends at the moment all i can think to do is kill myself but if i live through it everybody will hate me and i will get put in a long term mental hospital and i wont know if ill ever get out all of this is killing me i hate it that i cant talk to anybody im crying my eyes out as i type this can somebody please tell me what i can do to fix all this and not be hated by my entire family if i cant do anything about i im not sure how much longer ill be on this earth

[Paxiled]

I see you're 17, not 7, so that's more understandable.  Look, Christmas hasn't been cancelled.  It's still happening.  It's just going to be different than what you expected.  You've obviously got a lot going on right now that isn't very much fun.  You need some fun and you need to see a therapist or counselor to talk this out, and you need CBT therapy because you are the poster child for catastrophizing and fortune telling.  You'll know what this is when you do CBT, but in short, you're predicting all these things that are going to happen and expecting the worst of everything.  It's this thinking that's making you nuts, the other stuff is real and is going to happen no matter what you want right now but how you react to it determines how you feel.  Good luck.

[krissy1998]

i ment to put 17 i was crying while writing it so it was hard for me to see