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maybe just a few words will help!

Hello everyone,
a brief, i have been jobless for over years now, trying but nothing seems to work, i am 37 male, single, live with mother and sisters, and nephews; family tension is always there. and it is frustrating. i am creative, and i am pro-photographer, this gives you an idea that i pay attention to details.
I for as long as i can remember worry a lot,to an extent that it gets to me negatively, even when i was a kid, i remember to have stomach spasm after my school exams.
2 years ago, i suffered, from what i found was Depersonilization or Derealization, due to smoking a couple of puffs of weed, some told me, it is not that, and the over all was stress. but it went well after that...as this feelign started fading away.

lately,i am being consumed by fear, fear of illness, death, and i start analyzing everything that is happening in my body...

i suffered my first anxiety or panic attack last week,and it was scary, did EKG, blood tests, everything was normal,but cant stop thinking of it.. visited a  neurologist, who told me that i am in early stages of depression, he gave me dietery supplements,and 0.25 mg xanax at night, to help me sleep.
but still, i have this foggy head,tightness in my chest, i feel like something is holding and strangling my neck,something holding that back of my head,and still worry about everything,and honestly i am becoming creatively pessimistic in all aspects of life.
I am a religious person, and suddenly i start asking question that i can not answer,which creates this kind of being in a dark alley feeling, then thinking about my health,then thinking what;s happening to me? am i going to stay this way? i wasn't like this before,...i want o my old me.
and it frustrates me when i try to talk to someone and he tells me it is all in your head,and you can change your situation, as if i i happy with i am in now, and i want it.
been through a lot lately, i don't know if it depression,or anxiety. will it change when my life style changes...

its just that i feel down, and at times, i feel ok (and i will be very happy), and then boom, down the drain i go again.sometimes i feel i wish i am in dream and snap out of my mood.i dont want to be this way, i want my old me back .

Maybe i need a few words or maybe i just want to let the steam out.

thank you for your time :)
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Avatar universal
I'm feeling a lot like how you're feeling at the minute..I'm on 75mg which will be put up to 150mg next week for depression anxiety and panic attacks..it really does feel like a black hole and then there are times were I'm so happy then boom back down again..I got some really good advice on here and basically they told me that antidepressants only take the edge off to help you get through the day you have to deal with what's causing your depression in the first place..I think myself it is your family situation and lack of job that's your problem..you have no space or real privacy..even while you're looking for a job maybe volunteering or something might help just to get you out of the house and have something to look forward to..it might be good for you to get out and socialise with other people for a while..hope I helped a bit.. :)
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Avatar universal
hello SophieX , sorry for the late reply.
I hope u r doing fine.
Im basically on and off, but offs more than the ons.
I guess u are right, a change in my life style will change my state of mind or how i am feeling.
Today, was thinking in the morning, to actually stop all anti depressants im taking. The mere idea of me depending in them frustrates me too.
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