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Continuous suicidal thoughts...
I am going to be crazy please anyone help me. I am continuosly thinking about suicide and ending my life. I am too scared of dying but My head is exploading with suicidal methods.I am exausted of living my life. My tears are not stopping and my heart gets so painful day by day. I don't know what to do? There is only one thing in my mind that how can i die maybe because of cutting my wrist or my head exploads or have a brain tumour or gets coma??? I just want an escape from my life. Yesterday i drink nearly half bottle of cough syrup but nothing happens just weird headache. I am 100% sure that soon i will get in mental hospital...i am just 22 but my heart suddenly get so painful like heart attack. Where untreated depression leads to...just death. Anyone plz help i dont want to die....just want to enjoy life like others what will i do to get myself happy.
DON'T GIVE UP!! It's an episode and you will get thru... I have the same prob but find tht therapy n meds have helped calm the pain n thoughts.. I still get episodes but am able to better control it .. Seek help it works! It took me forever to realize its not jus a cliche but real help.. We are sick but like any illness there is treatment so don't give up! :)
Are you seeing a mental health expert? That is a wonderful start after admitting that you do have a problem. It takes a lot of cajones to admit there is a problem, and that is step #1 to finding help.
It's out there, you just have to look for it. I'd bet that there is any number or groups in your area that can help. Take a few moments to research it, or better yet, talk to your primary care physician. He/she knows you better than anyone else. Tell him/her the whole story and be 100% truthful.
As I said, help is out there but you have to go get it. It never falls into our laps....
It's out there, you just have to look for it. I'd bet that there is any number or groups in your area that can help. Take a few moments to research it, or better yet, talk to your primary care physician. He/she knows you better than anyone else. Tell him/her the whole story and be 100% truthful.
As I said, help is out there but you have to go get it. It never falls into our laps....
Hey there. I am terribly sorry that you are feeling like this. Depression eats us alive most of the times and make us feel like we are going insane, but we can at least try to get ourselves on track. Many days I feel like giving up and the suicidal thoughts come or I cannot stop thinking about death. However, you need to gain understanding that you have one life to live, ONLY ONE and so you have to make the most of it. It is no way easy, actually it may be the hardest thing you will have to do because depression is no joke.
Are you seeking professional help? There is nothing wrong in seeking outside help from a person who equipped to do so. Your therapist can give you the to tools necessary to have a happier, healthier life. Do you have close friends or relatives? You can keep in contact with these people and ask them to text or call you regularly. Knowing that you have someone to care, is one of the greatest feelings in the world.
Keep a journal of your feelings. I have tried and I was quite pleased with the results. I write down my feelings...all of them, even the good ones. I write down what I am feeling and why. For example: If I am angry, I write down what has caused me to be angry, when I am in a good mood, I review and see if my anger was appropriate or they ways I can make sure I never get angry for that reason again. If I am sad, I look at the good feelings and hope that the reflection will help to calm me.
Please take good care!
xoxoxxo Anna
Are you seeking professional help? There is nothing wrong in seeking outside help from a person who equipped to do so. Your therapist can give you the to tools necessary to have a happier, healthier life. Do you have close friends or relatives? You can keep in contact with these people and ask them to text or call you regularly. Knowing that you have someone to care, is one of the greatest feelings in the world.
Keep a journal of your feelings. I have tried and I was quite pleased with the results. I write down my feelings...all of them, even the good ones. I write down what I am feeling and why. For example: If I am angry, I write down what has caused me to be angry, when I am in a good mood, I review and see if my anger was appropriate or they ways I can make sure I never get angry for that reason again. If I am sad, I look at the good feelings and hope that the reflection will help to calm me.
Please take good care!
xoxoxxo Anna
Let me be VERY frank with you and VERY graphic. What I'm about to tell you is disturbing to say the least, but it is VERY important for you to hear.
I've had a few close friends whose lives were FOREVER changed as a result of suicide. My one friend was going thru a tumultous marriage with her husband. Her and I worked together. One night at work, he started sending her text messages talking about suicide, about hanging a rope in the basement, etc. I told her to take it seriously, to get him some help.
The whole next day, she updated me about her husband being not in the right state of mind, but he PROMISED her he wouldn't do anything. We thought it was maybe an attempt to get her attention. Her niece also worked with us, I was their supervisor. My friend was in contact contact with me that whole day. She told me things had calmed down and that she would see me at work that night. We worked the midnight shift, due to be in at 11. Around 8, I got a phone call from the niece, she was hysterical, screaming "He DID IT! He DID it!!!" over and over. I cannot describe in words how I felt. Chilled to the bone, sick, dizzy, nauseous. Those are just a few things that come to mind. I couldn't even think straight.
I found out that my friend had left to go run an errand that was going to take her about 10 min. Her husband was on facebook when she left, she asked him if he would be okay, he said yes. She called him when she was about 2 min from returning home. He was fine, no problems. She came home, pulled in, and there he was, in the basement, hanging from a rope. Now, he KNEW she would be home any second. We're convinced he did it for attention, not to really succeed. My friend is a little thing, her husband a big guy. She had to ruin next door to get her dad to help her cut him down, after calling 911 of course. CPR, the whole nine yards. He lived for about 7 days when it was determined he was brain dead. Organs were donated, she took him off life support.
He KNEW she was a nurse and knew what to do, he took a hell of a gamble, and LOST. He's dead. He has children. They have NEVER been the same. EVER. My friend used to have a laugh and a sparkle in her eye that was indescribable. GONE. She's been racked with guilt since it happened, constantly torturing herself with the "what ifs". To HER, it's ALL her fault, you cannot convince her otherwise. Her fault he did it, her fault she couldnt save him, her fault he died. Her family has been torn apart, his side of the family has also blamed her, vandalizing her home, even his gravesite. All she has is memories. That's IT. She's gotten professional help, it still hasn't made a difference. She told me that this will haunt her til her dying day, and she just waits for death now. She has children too, and they have pretty much lost their mom. There IS no "recovering" from something like that. There is shame, guilt, anger. There are days they hate him. What is REALLY sad? EVERYTHING he did in his life is not remembered. The ONLY legacy a person who kills themself leaves behind is that they committed suicide. That's IT. The rest of their life becomes insignificant. How said is THAT???
My second story just happened about 3 weeks ago. Again, another dear friend I worked with. She has been struggling with her adult daughter for months. She is troubled, into drugs, legal troubles, poor decisions, etc. My friend lost her son a year ago to a tragic accident, she is still grieving, the whole family is.
Well, her daughter texted her a few Sunday mornings ago that she was going to take all of her Ambien and Klonopin and that my friend didn't know where she was. My friend took the texts to the police and they got a "302 warrant" which is to have someone committed who is a danger to themselves. While she was out doing that, her son (who was at her house), called and said the daughter showed up there and was acting crazy. He begged her to get there as fast as she could. My friend knew she could get home, call the police, and have her forced to get the help she desperately needed. She got home, her son was actually lying on top of the daughter, holding her down, she was hysterical and fighting him like mad.
My friend told her son to go outside, and she tried everything, as a Mom, to help calm her daughter down. She wanted to just hold her at the house long enough for the police to get there. There was no talking to the daughter. She was not to be reasoned with. She spewed HORRIBLE things about how awful a mother my friend was, how she hated her family, etc etc. She said terrible things about her brother dying a year before, and how she wished it had been HER. My friend has skin cancer, she told her she hoped it would kill her (nice huh?) All the while, she just wanted to help her daughter.
She walked out into the hall, following her daughter, when she reached into her pocket, pulled out a knife, and slit her own throat, TWICE, right in front of my friend. IF my friend hadn't been a nurse and known what to do, or if she had gone into another room and done that, she would have been dead. They airlifted her to a trauma center and right into surgery. She now has a tracheotomy, a feeding tube, and the doctors aren't sure if she'll even talk again, with the damage to her vocal chords. She's a physical and emotional mess. My friend, who is the most caring, giving person I know, is left to pick up the pieces. All she does is drink and work, and go see her daughter. She shakes all day long, and says she can't get the vision of that day out of her head. She's grateful that her daughter is alive, but the aftermath is unthinkable. She still hasn't accepted the death of her son, then to go through THIS??
My point in telling you these horrific stories is to make you understand that suicide is just NEVER an option. It will leave your loved ones in a state they will never recover from. It's the most selfish thing a person can do to people who love them. You say you're scared to die...GOOD!!! You SHOULD be! As deep and dark a hole you may feel you're stuck in, there are always options. There is help out there. Maybe you NEED a brief hospital stay to get you on some medications to stabilize you, and start some intensive therapy. YOU have the choice, it's in your hands. You either fight like hell to get your life back, or you quit, destroying your loved one's lives forever. You don't want to be remembered ONLY as a person who killed themself...I know you don't. You've already proven to have some suicidal intentions by taking the cough syrup, which means you need help, and NOW. Call a suicide hotline, drive to a hospital, tell someone you need help, ANYONE.
If you think of the big picture, our life here on earth is short enough to begin with, we have to make the best of the time we have. You are NEVER promised a tomorrow. Young people, children, die every day, and it's awful. You have a choice to do something about the way you feel. People that get deadly diseases, or die in a car accident didn't have a choice, even though they would have wanted one. You have to WANT a chance honey!
(Continued.....)
I've had a few close friends whose lives were FOREVER changed as a result of suicide. My one friend was going thru a tumultous marriage with her husband. Her and I worked together. One night at work, he started sending her text messages talking about suicide, about hanging a rope in the basement, etc. I told her to take it seriously, to get him some help.
The whole next day, she updated me about her husband being not in the right state of mind, but he PROMISED her he wouldn't do anything. We thought it was maybe an attempt to get her attention. Her niece also worked with us, I was their supervisor. My friend was in contact contact with me that whole day. She told me things had calmed down and that she would see me at work that night. We worked the midnight shift, due to be in at 11. Around 8, I got a phone call from the niece, she was hysterical, screaming "He DID IT! He DID it!!!" over and over. I cannot describe in words how I felt. Chilled to the bone, sick, dizzy, nauseous. Those are just a few things that come to mind. I couldn't even think straight.
I found out that my friend had left to go run an errand that was going to take her about 10 min. Her husband was on facebook when she left, she asked him if he would be okay, he said yes. She called him when she was about 2 min from returning home. He was fine, no problems. She came home, pulled in, and there he was, in the basement, hanging from a rope. Now, he KNEW she would be home any second. We're convinced he did it for attention, not to really succeed. My friend is a little thing, her husband a big guy. She had to ruin next door to get her dad to help her cut him down, after calling 911 of course. CPR, the whole nine yards. He lived for about 7 days when it was determined he was brain dead. Organs were donated, she took him off life support.
He KNEW she was a nurse and knew what to do, he took a hell of a gamble, and LOST. He's dead. He has children. They have NEVER been the same. EVER. My friend used to have a laugh and a sparkle in her eye that was indescribable. GONE. She's been racked with guilt since it happened, constantly torturing herself with the "what ifs". To HER, it's ALL her fault, you cannot convince her otherwise. Her fault he did it, her fault she couldnt save him, her fault he died. Her family has been torn apart, his side of the family has also blamed her, vandalizing her home, even his gravesite. All she has is memories. That's IT. She's gotten professional help, it still hasn't made a difference. She told me that this will haunt her til her dying day, and she just waits for death now. She has children too, and they have pretty much lost their mom. There IS no "recovering" from something like that. There is shame, guilt, anger. There are days they hate him. What is REALLY sad? EVERYTHING he did in his life is not remembered. The ONLY legacy a person who kills themself leaves behind is that they committed suicide. That's IT. The rest of their life becomes insignificant. How said is THAT???
My second story just happened about 3 weeks ago. Again, another dear friend I worked with. She has been struggling with her adult daughter for months. She is troubled, into drugs, legal troubles, poor decisions, etc. My friend lost her son a year ago to a tragic accident, she is still grieving, the whole family is.
Well, her daughter texted her a few Sunday mornings ago that she was going to take all of her Ambien and Klonopin and that my friend didn't know where she was. My friend took the texts to the police and they got a "302 warrant" which is to have someone committed who is a danger to themselves. While she was out doing that, her son (who was at her house), called and said the daughter showed up there and was acting crazy. He begged her to get there as fast as she could. My friend knew she could get home, call the police, and have her forced to get the help she desperately needed. She got home, her son was actually lying on top of the daughter, holding her down, she was hysterical and fighting him like mad.
My friend told her son to go outside, and she tried everything, as a Mom, to help calm her daughter down. She wanted to just hold her at the house long enough for the police to get there. There was no talking to the daughter. She was not to be reasoned with. She spewed HORRIBLE things about how awful a mother my friend was, how she hated her family, etc etc. She said terrible things about her brother dying a year before, and how she wished it had been HER. My friend has skin cancer, she told her she hoped it would kill her (nice huh?) All the while, she just wanted to help her daughter.
She walked out into the hall, following her daughter, when she reached into her pocket, pulled out a knife, and slit her own throat, TWICE, right in front of my friend. IF my friend hadn't been a nurse and known what to do, or if she had gone into another room and done that, she would have been dead. They airlifted her to a trauma center and right into surgery. She now has a tracheotomy, a feeding tube, and the doctors aren't sure if she'll even talk again, with the damage to her vocal chords. She's a physical and emotional mess. My friend, who is the most caring, giving person I know, is left to pick up the pieces. All she does is drink and work, and go see her daughter. She shakes all day long, and says she can't get the vision of that day out of her head. She's grateful that her daughter is alive, but the aftermath is unthinkable. She still hasn't accepted the death of her son, then to go through THIS??
My point in telling you these horrific stories is to make you understand that suicide is just NEVER an option. It will leave your loved ones in a state they will never recover from. It's the most selfish thing a person can do to people who love them. You say you're scared to die...GOOD!!! You SHOULD be! As deep and dark a hole you may feel you're stuck in, there are always options. There is help out there. Maybe you NEED a brief hospital stay to get you on some medications to stabilize you, and start some intensive therapy. YOU have the choice, it's in your hands. You either fight like hell to get your life back, or you quit, destroying your loved one's lives forever. You don't want to be remembered ONLY as a person who killed themself...I know you don't. You've already proven to have some suicidal intentions by taking the cough syrup, which means you need help, and NOW. Call a suicide hotline, drive to a hospital, tell someone you need help, ANYONE.
If you think of the big picture, our life here on earth is short enough to begin with, we have to make the best of the time we have. You are NEVER promised a tomorrow. Young people, children, die every day, and it's awful. You have a choice to do something about the way you feel. People that get deadly diseases, or die in a car accident didn't have a choice, even though they would have wanted one. You have to WANT a chance honey!
(Continued.....)
(....continued....)
You cannot help that you are how you are or why you feel like you do. That's depression for you. It's terrible, it's all consuming, and so many times, it just feels like there is NO way out of that hole. There IS. But YOU have to seek out the help and then try, try, try some more. Do you know how many people have successfully overcome a deep depression? A LOT! I have been in dire straights before myself, never suicidal, but I thought for SURE I was destined to live an unhappy, fearful, anxious existence. HOUSEBOUND. Until one day, I got fed up with my own pity party and I started working at it. It wasn't easy, and it required some serious work on my part, but I DID it. I got my life back. YOU can too. Now, right NOW, go reach out for some help. You CAN do this. You're still here right? That tells me (and YOU) that there is a part of you somewhere, deep down, that doesn't want to die....you wouldn't still be here.
PLEASE, for the sake of those who love you and would forever be lost and sad, don't harm yourself. Even a very "mild" attempt can go wrong and end up badly. You don't want that, I KNOW you don''t.
I hope me sharing how I've watched FIRST hand how suicide can destory people has given you something to think about. I know it's graphic, and ugly, and scary, and sad, but thats what suicide is. There's no way to sugar coat it, or make it more "palatable". It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, There's always a chance, always. We're here for you, my friend, and are pulling for you. You are among friends who understand what it is like to be in that black hole. Climb out of it, we're here to hold your hand while you get the help you need to make it possible.
Big hugs...please update us when you can. I know I'll be worried sick. I may have never met you, but I dont want to EVER have to watch someone I care about go through something like that again. I only shared two stories with you, I have had other people in my life go through a suicide, and so has my husband.
I'm thinking of you and praying for you, PLEASE let us know what your plans are for getting help. We're right here beside you. Sweetie, even if you need to go to the hospital for a few weeks, that's OKAY! I know no one wants that, but sometimes it IS necessary. Please reach out, please! I'm begging you.
You cannot help that you are how you are or why you feel like you do. That's depression for you. It's terrible, it's all consuming, and so many times, it just feels like there is NO way out of that hole. There IS. But YOU have to seek out the help and then try, try, try some more. Do you know how many people have successfully overcome a deep depression? A LOT! I have been in dire straights before myself, never suicidal, but I thought for SURE I was destined to live an unhappy, fearful, anxious existence. HOUSEBOUND. Until one day, I got fed up with my own pity party and I started working at it. It wasn't easy, and it required some serious work on my part, but I DID it. I got my life back. YOU can too. Now, right NOW, go reach out for some help. You CAN do this. You're still here right? That tells me (and YOU) that there is a part of you somewhere, deep down, that doesn't want to die....you wouldn't still be here.
PLEASE, for the sake of those who love you and would forever be lost and sad, don't harm yourself. Even a very "mild" attempt can go wrong and end up badly. You don't want that, I KNOW you don''t.
I hope me sharing how I've watched FIRST hand how suicide can destory people has given you something to think about. I know it's graphic, and ugly, and scary, and sad, but thats what suicide is. There's no way to sugar coat it, or make it more "palatable". It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, There's always a chance, always. We're here for you, my friend, and are pulling for you. You are among friends who understand what it is like to be in that black hole. Climb out of it, we're here to hold your hand while you get the help you need to make it possible.
Big hugs...please update us when you can. I know I'll be worried sick. I may have never met you, but I dont want to EVER have to watch someone I care about go through something like that again. I only shared two stories with you, I have had other people in my life go through a suicide, and so has my husband.
I'm thinking of you and praying for you, PLEASE let us know what your plans are for getting help. We're right here beside you. Sweetie, even if you need to go to the hospital for a few weeks, that's OKAY! I know no one wants that, but sometimes it IS necessary. Please reach out, please! I'm begging you.
Im so sorry your feeling so awful!! I get the same way, where i cant stop the suicidal thoughts from coming, i am always thinking of ways to do it, but deep down im afraid to die too...then i get these guilty thoughts of how i would be deeply hurting those who love me if i were to actually do it..whenever you feel like that..try to think how terribly hurt everyone would be if they lost you..it has always helped me. Maybe it will help you too!
You have the strength to fight this, im noticing that already! You want this to stop, you want to fight it..that is strength!
Your an important person whether you believe so or not, obviously because your family would hurt worse than you can imagine if they lost you!
If you havent already, find a therapist, dont let this run over the top of you. Dont let it control you..only you can control you..and its up to you to take that control! God Bless you!!! Hugs
You have the strength to fight this, im noticing that already! You want this to stop, you want to fight it..that is strength!
Your an important person whether you believe so or not, obviously because your family would hurt worse than you can imagine if they lost you!
If you havent already, find a therapist, dont let this run over the top of you. Dont let it control you..only you can control you..and its up to you to take that control! God Bless you!!! Hugs
Depression is treatable. Always remember that. Part of depression is feeling hopeless. Please do not be afraid to treat this depression. Please.
As said above, suicide is never the answer. Please get seen by a doctor right away so that you can recover and begin to have this cloud of despair lift. Prayers to you and hugs.
As said above, suicide is never the answer. Please get seen by a doctor right away so that you can recover and begin to have this cloud of despair lift. Prayers to you and hugs.
thanks to all for replying. I am just too tired of life that i want to escape from it either by death or any other way. I don't want to live this life. I want to end it,maybe i done it much earlier but i only not doing it because of my mom, i don't want to hurt her,my father maybe he don't care.
I am not seeking any professional help, i don't want to go to doctors and take their medicines which make me sleepy, also i can't express my emotions and feelings to them or any other face to face, it looks so weird expressing my secrets to them which i never told anybody except God and my mom. I am so lonely , no body understands me. Suddenly i starts crying and act weirdly, maybe i an going crazy . I want to live for my mom but my life making it so difficult. I know if i end my life , my mom's life become miserable which i don't want, i only want to make her happy she suffer too much in her life but what i'll do my life gets tougher and tougher and i am becoming walking dead person. Plz help me, how i get rid of this misery of mine ....
I am not seeking any professional help, i don't want to go to doctors and take their medicines which make me sleepy, also i can't express my emotions and feelings to them or any other face to face, it looks so weird expressing my secrets to them which i never told anybody except God and my mom. I am so lonely , no body understands me. Suddenly i starts crying and act weirdly, maybe i an going crazy . I want to live for my mom but my life making it so difficult. I know if i end my life , my mom's life become miserable which i don't want, i only want to make her happy she suffer too much in her life but what i'll do my life gets tougher and tougher and i am becoming walking dead person. Plz help me, how i get rid of this misery of mine ....
You say "please help me", but then say you're not going to seek professional help. That's how you need to overcome this. We've already told you that.
What meds have you tried? Have you tried therapy? While you may FEEL alone, you're not. How many of us here have told you the struggles we've been through?
Hon, this is not going to go away on its own, and I think you already know that. There are so many meds out there, with a little trial and error, you can find one you tolerate okay, and even if you have to endure a few initial side effects for a while, wouldn't it be worth it? Heck yes!!?
YOU have to decide what to do, we can give you all the encouragement in the world, but YOU have to seek the help. We can't do that for you. Staying "stuck" without trying something seems crazy to me. You're saying how awful you feel, why would you NOT want to try everything you could to get better?
What meds have you tried? Have you tried therapy? While you may FEEL alone, you're not. How many of us here have told you the struggles we've been through?
Hon, this is not going to go away on its own, and I think you already know that. There are so many meds out there, with a little trial and error, you can find one you tolerate okay, and even if you have to endure a few initial side effects for a while, wouldn't it be worth it? Heck yes!!?
YOU have to decide what to do, we can give you all the encouragement in the world, but YOU have to seek the help. We can't do that for you. Staying "stuck" without trying something seems crazy to me. You're saying how awful you feel, why would you NOT want to try everything you could to get better?
I'm very sorry to hear you feel that way. I'm here for you too. I hope I can help you feel better, please check your messages, I sent you one.
I cannot understand how you say you won 't seek professional help. No medication, nothing? WHY?? It will make you want to live again. You seem to want to go on as you are, deep in misery, because you won't ask for help. Don't you want to feel better? Why won't you get help??
You can voluntarily get yourself put in a psychiatric hospital if that is what doctors think you need.
I took an overdose once. Lots of pills gobbled down in a moment when I could not see or think straight. I was taken to hospital. I was give horrid stuff to make me sick, and then charcoal to drink to line my stomach.
My daughter came to see me. She had my 6 month old grandson with her. Tears were streaming down her face. I had hurt her so much.
Lots of people who attempt suicide live. Look at the daughter of nursegirl's friend. Her life has changed for the worse.
I remember when I was in hospital, in the heart ward, an elderly man in the bed opposite asked me what I was in for. I told him. He was horrified. He said, "What did you want to take your life for, I have had a heart attack and I thought I was going to die. I am so glad I didn't." That really upset me, but I still remember those words.
Here I am many years later, still battling depression. But unlike you I got the help I needed. I am glad I didn't die. I have a loving family who know how my life is, and they are very supportive. I can turn to them, and have many times.
Please help yourself.
You can voluntarily get yourself put in a psychiatric hospital if that is what doctors think you need.
I took an overdose once. Lots of pills gobbled down in a moment when I could not see or think straight. I was taken to hospital. I was give horrid stuff to make me sick, and then charcoal to drink to line my stomach.
My daughter came to see me. She had my 6 month old grandson with her. Tears were streaming down her face. I had hurt her so much.
Lots of people who attempt suicide live. Look at the daughter of nursegirl's friend. Her life has changed for the worse.
I remember when I was in hospital, in the heart ward, an elderly man in the bed opposite asked me what I was in for. I told him. He was horrified. He said, "What did you want to take your life for, I have had a heart attack and I thought I was going to die. I am so glad I didn't." That really upset me, but I still remember those words.
Here I am many years later, still battling depression. But unlike you I got the help I needed. I am glad I didn't die. I have a loving family who know how my life is, and they are very supportive. I can turn to them, and have many times.
Please help yourself.
Okay its long story of mine but i try to short.
Actually i had never been went to psyhcritists nor taken any anti depressents meds. I have been known that i have depression one year ago by online depression tests which always came severe. I always have crying spells but i thought that it is due to my sensitivity. Then i started cutting my wrist just scratch one day, which is becoming deep now. I visit different sites just to know if i am the only one who is cutting or others too then i came to know about my depression. I agnored it but my condition becomes weird so for self help i read many self confidence books it give some relief but for few days. Then i came here to just know what is wrong with me.
I am living in a country where depression is uncommon and if someone visit psyhcritist is considered crazy thats why there are on good doctors nor thearpy system here. I have great trusting issues also. I hardly trust any one or doctors, thats why i am not in relationship so far. My mom wants me to go to doctor for my condition but it is me who ignored it due to trusting issue.
I can't suicide because i love my mom. But i think that my condition becoming so weird that it leads me to death. I really want help but don't know how. I want to enjoy my life and fulfill my dreams but my life is becoming a living hell. I want to help me. Plz advice me that what should i do?
Actually i had never been went to psyhcritists nor taken any anti depressents meds. I have been known that i have depression one year ago by online depression tests which always came severe. I always have crying spells but i thought that it is due to my sensitivity. Then i started cutting my wrist just scratch one day, which is becoming deep now. I visit different sites just to know if i am the only one who is cutting or others too then i came to know about my depression. I agnored it but my condition becomes weird so for self help i read many self confidence books it give some relief but for few days. Then i came here to just know what is wrong with me.
I am living in a country where depression is uncommon and if someone visit psyhcritist is considered crazy thats why there are on good doctors nor thearpy system here. I have great trusting issues also. I hardly trust any one or doctors, thats why i am not in relationship so far. My mom wants me to go to doctor for my condition but it is me who ignored it due to trusting issue.
I can't suicide because i love my mom. But i think that my condition becoming so weird that it leads me to death. I really want help but don't know how. I want to enjoy my life and fulfill my dreams but my life is becoming a living hell. I want to help me. Plz advice me that what should i do?
Hon, like everyone has told you, depression requires professional intervention. I'm sorry you think that you would not receive the best care where you live, but in all fairness, you've never tried. You have to try.
Talk to your Mom. Quit putting this off. You can't ignore depression. As you found, it doesn't just go away on it's own. You can do it.
Talk to your Mom. Quit putting this off. You can't ignore depression. As you found, it doesn't just go away on it's own. You can do it.
Therapy, and medications are really the only way to get a handle on this..you cant do it on your own as everybody else has said. Dont give up on yourself like this, dont give up on your mom like this. Giving up and just hoping it goes away on its own just worsens things because depression doesnt work like that unfortunately, but having faith in yourself can get you anywhere. And all we can do here, is give you the best advice we can, and be here when you need reassurance. It wont work out if you dont try and do your part to. You should not be afraid to get help because of what others think, everybody needs help in some way, and there isnt nothing wrong with that. Some just dont understand, and its not your fault. Everybody experiences a little bit of the blues now and then, a lot just dont like to say anything.
You have already taken a step towards helping yourself, and thats coming here and sharing your concerns. We cant walk without putting one foot in front of the other and taken step after step. This is the same. Your already showing your strength by coming here, you realise something isnt right and you want to be helped. Sometimes admitting you have a problem is the hardest part and you have done that so far, see you are stronger than you know, and you CAN do this!!! We have faith in you, and you have your friends here to help you along the way..and God is up there watching over you. He would never put you through anything that you cant handle. You can do this!!!
You have already taken a step towards helping yourself, and thats coming here and sharing your concerns. We cant walk without putting one foot in front of the other and taken step after step. This is the same. Your already showing your strength by coming here, you realise something isnt right and you want to be helped. Sometimes admitting you have a problem is the hardest part and you have done that so far, see you are stronger than you know, and you CAN do this!!! We have faith in you, and you have your friends here to help you along the way..and God is up there watching over you. He would never put you through anything that you cant handle. You can do this!!!
Thanks everyone for wonderful replies, i am really calmed by them. I get it that if i really wanna help myself i should see a doctor. I know that they are not good enough here in my country but atleast have a try.
But my main concern is TRUST. I really can't trust others easily and can't express my feelings to others then how i express them to psyhcritist? How i tell all my emotions and thinking to them? You are absolutely true brice1967 that i am too scared. I can't even talk to strangers thats why i have no friends. I am really struggling with my trust issue. Plz help me with it, any piece of advice??
But my main concern is TRUST. I really can't trust others easily and can't express my feelings to others then how i express them to psyhcritist? How i tell all my emotions and thinking to them? You are absolutely true brice1967 that i am too scared. I can't even talk to strangers thats why i have no friends. I am really struggling with my trust issue. Plz help me with it, any piece of advice??
Honey, the trust issue will improve with time, and help. What you have to remember and keep in mind as you start seeking help is that there is literally NOTHING a psychiatrist hasn't heard before. They go through YEARS of training, they learn how to not be judgemental. They do not KNOW you personally, you can literally tell them anything and everything.
Actually, the more open and honest you are with them, the better off you'll be. With time, you will become more comfortable sharing such personal info, it will be a little weird at first, you will feel uneasy about it...just push through those feelings, and TELL the doctor that it is hard for you. He/she will likely reassure you.
The important thing here is that you realize you need to seek help. That's giant prgoress. Let us know when you make the appointment. The sooner you make the call, the better.
You'll be okay. This is actually a wonderful step towards getting your life back.
Actually, the more open and honest you are with them, the better off you'll be. With time, you will become more comfortable sharing such personal info, it will be a little weird at first, you will feel uneasy about it...just push through those feelings, and TELL the doctor that it is hard for you. He/she will likely reassure you.
The important thing here is that you realize you need to seek help. That's giant prgoress. Let us know when you make the appointment. The sooner you make the call, the better.
You'll be okay. This is actually a wonderful step towards getting your life back.
Trust is something that comes in time. Seek professional help and have that therapist show you about trust and how to gain it.
Trust is built and it takes time. Everyone with me starts off somewhere in the middle. A lot of things can happen in time that will affect where you go on the "trust ladder". You can do things to bolster that trust or do things to kill that trust.
I'm guessing that your reluctance to trusting has to do with being hurt somewhere in your past, by a person who was a trusted individual. Am I in the ball park with that? If that is the case, you need to look at that as an individual thing.... one person hurt you. Not everyone hurt you. You can learn to digest that hurt and all hurts individually. You can hold those people accountable for the hurt they caused you.
Being brave and walking up to someone and saying, "Remember the time when you did that thing? That hurt me a lot. It really changed my opinion of you. Thanks for teaching me a lesson, but I am holding you accountable for that hurt." and then walk away. You would not believe the amount of pressure that comes off your chest. It doesn't need to be confrontational, but it does need to be 'matter of fact" or direct.
You then need to learn to "forgive". It's the hardest lesson out there. I held a grudge for years with a dead guy. I didn't think I could address it because the person that screwed me over had died.... you can hold them accountable. I needed to look at that situation and know that I didn't do it, he did! I needed to know that I am all right, that they were not! I also needed to be thankful for the lesson learned and then move away.
For me, it was life altering and it happened very simply. I was asked by my therapist, "why are you holding all of this anger, all of this animosity towards this person, and what are you getting from it?"
As it turns out, I was getting nothing out of it and as soon as I acknowledged that, the animosity went away.... I hope other people can find it that easy....
It's a fight, but you can win it.
Trust is built and it takes time. Everyone with me starts off somewhere in the middle. A lot of things can happen in time that will affect where you go on the "trust ladder". You can do things to bolster that trust or do things to kill that trust.
I'm guessing that your reluctance to trusting has to do with being hurt somewhere in your past, by a person who was a trusted individual. Am I in the ball park with that? If that is the case, you need to look at that as an individual thing.... one person hurt you. Not everyone hurt you. You can learn to digest that hurt and all hurts individually. You can hold those people accountable for the hurt they caused you.
Being brave and walking up to someone and saying, "Remember the time when you did that thing? That hurt me a lot. It really changed my opinion of you. Thanks for teaching me a lesson, but I am holding you accountable for that hurt." and then walk away. You would not believe the amount of pressure that comes off your chest. It doesn't need to be confrontational, but it does need to be 'matter of fact" or direct.
You then need to learn to "forgive". It's the hardest lesson out there. I held a grudge for years with a dead guy. I didn't think I could address it because the person that screwed me over had died.... you can hold them accountable. I needed to look at that situation and know that I didn't do it, he did! I needed to know that I am all right, that they were not! I also needed to be thankful for the lesson learned and then move away.
For me, it was life altering and it happened very simply. I was asked by my therapist, "why are you holding all of this anger, all of this animosity towards this person, and what are you getting from it?"
As it turns out, I was getting nothing out of it and as soon as I acknowledged that, the animosity went away.... I hope other people can find it that easy....
It's a fight, but you can win it.
Thanks 4 encourage. I don't know my trust issue can be solved or not but my trust on my dad is decreasing day by day.
My parents are separated manily my dads fault. My mom struggled her marriage life till the end but my dad makes it very difficult. I love him very much but suddenly one day he left us when i am little,from there my life becomes misareble to me. I saw my mom working so hard for me. What i tell its long and miserable story....My dad only calls few times.
My mom wants me to tell him about my depression but i don't want that he interfere in my life but today i told him that i am feeling this way.... And what he did, starts yelling at me and my mom and arguing with my mom,which i certainly don't want.
At that point i decided that tonight i kill myself,but then looks at my mom,then my miserable life............ What i 'll do??? Why some people all like this,like my dad , who never understands? I am so alone. Where do i tell my feelings? I have no friends. I think killing myself is only way to escape from my life.....
My parents are separated manily my dads fault. My mom struggled her marriage life till the end but my dad makes it very difficult. I love him very much but suddenly one day he left us when i am little,from there my life becomes misareble to me. I saw my mom working so hard for me. What i tell its long and miserable story....My dad only calls few times.
My mom wants me to tell him about my depression but i don't want that he interfere in my life but today i told him that i am feeling this way.... And what he did, starts yelling at me and my mom and arguing with my mom,which i certainly don't want.
At that point i decided that tonight i kill myself,but then looks at my mom,then my miserable life............ What i 'll do??? Why some people all like this,like my dad , who never understands? I am so alone. Where do i tell my feelings? I have no friends. I think killing myself is only way to escape from my life.....
Again, I can only urge you to seek immediate help if you're feeling that way...tell your Mom what you're thinking, ask for help. You KNOW it's not the answer.
You obviously have a lot of resentment towards your Dad as a result of him leaving you, and you watching your Mom struggle. I'll tell you, that while you have every right to be upset with him about how he treated YOU....their marriage and adult relationship was none of your concern. Sadly, as a child, you didn't realize that. You were stuck with grown-up type worries when you should have been a happy go lucky kid. Whatever happened (or happens) between your Mom and your Dad has NOTHING to do with you. That's true, even today.
I think you need to be brutally honest with BOTH of your parents. Tell your Mom you have throughts of suicide, that you feel it is your only way out. And tell your Dad, point blank, that you already have trouble with trust, and when your Mom made you confide your deepest darkest issues, and he reacted like he did, it affected you SO severely that you were back to the point of considering suicide. They 100% NEED to know these things. They need to know how their actions have, and still ARE affecting you.
If you can't say it, write it down, or print this thread out. This thread is nothing but brutal honesty from you, sweetie, because you are NOT talking to people you know, you are involved in your life. It would be a harsh reality for them...but a good wake up call. They NEED that! PLEASE talk to them, or communicate with them NOW.
You were feeling better the other day about getting help. Go back and reread those posts. You can get there again. Don't let two adults acting poorly, and making this about THEM instead of about YOU like they should, ruin your desire to get help. Shame on them and their actions.
Please keep us updated, and DON'T do anything to harm yourself. You KNOW that isn't the answer.
You obviously have a lot of resentment towards your Dad as a result of him leaving you, and you watching your Mom struggle. I'll tell you, that while you have every right to be upset with him about how he treated YOU....their marriage and adult relationship was none of your concern. Sadly, as a child, you didn't realize that. You were stuck with grown-up type worries when you should have been a happy go lucky kid. Whatever happened (or happens) between your Mom and your Dad has NOTHING to do with you. That's true, even today.
I think you need to be brutally honest with BOTH of your parents. Tell your Mom you have throughts of suicide, that you feel it is your only way out. And tell your Dad, point blank, that you already have trouble with trust, and when your Mom made you confide your deepest darkest issues, and he reacted like he did, it affected you SO severely that you were back to the point of considering suicide. They 100% NEED to know these things. They need to know how their actions have, and still ARE affecting you.
If you can't say it, write it down, or print this thread out. This thread is nothing but brutal honesty from you, sweetie, because you are NOT talking to people you know, you are involved in your life. It would be a harsh reality for them...but a good wake up call. They NEED that! PLEASE talk to them, or communicate with them NOW.
You were feeling better the other day about getting help. Go back and reread those posts. You can get there again. Don't let two adults acting poorly, and making this about THEM instead of about YOU like they should, ruin your desire to get help. Shame on them and their actions.
Please keep us updated, and DON'T do anything to harm yourself. You KNOW that isn't the answer.
oh my dear.....we are so same....im 22 and i have suicides thoughts too......let us be friend and talk to each -other...i can understand you completely ....you are NOT alone....im here just like you,fighting for being alive,at least we are hopping for a miracle!!!the miracle is that we are STILL living and fighting...why we should kill our self ?????to be food for worms????why we just don't treat our life like a gift from GOD .imagine how many people are fighting with cancer,or any serious disease ,or imagine how many people are people with disabilities..are not we lucky?????YES we are of course,we just have a cycle which it BE OVER if we want.....we have obsessive thought and i mean we should work how to deal with those......believe me im just LIKE YOU ARE ,in the same situation,maybe im worst but see me :) im still alive and full of hate for those feelings but at the final we will win,believe on me,,hugs
p.s ....you said your parents are separated but look,,,,my dad is injured by war and he is 80% invalid!! isn't this more painful.....?yes it is!!!!this is my worst pain when i see him without a part of his head,with his paralysis hand and legs,i suffer because he can;t talk like us,he cant understand like we do,just shout out loud...and i suffer ,,,Is there anything more difficult than to see your mother suffering, and see destroyed the whole family.you are lucky than me...you have a healthy mom and dad,you should help you mum to slip past this terrible time of her life,you are now mature,just keep on things like natural.there in world are sooooooo many couples that broke up.....be strong and be the supports of your mom.She needs you more than ever i guess
I'm SOOOO proud of you for your posts above. You have been so stuck in the cycle of panic and anxiety, with constant negative self talk, and while you may not FEEL a lot better, look at you, reaching out to help someone who feels bad! Doesn't it feel great? What you said is wonderful, and when YOU are having an extra bad bay, go back and read your own words! Take your own advice!
It's true....as much as we may suffer with the burden of depression, or anxiety...think of how much worse other people have it. That's not to discount what YOU are going through, but sometimes it helps to get a little perspective. There are young children, who haven't even BEGUN to live, dying of cancer. Who WILL die through no fault of their own, never growing up, never having children of their own. How sad is that? There are people who lose the love of their life in a tragic car accident. Look at my friend...losing her young son, and almost losing her daughter! When I have bad days, or put myself into "pity party" mode, all I have to do is think of what SHE is going through, and I'm able to turn my thinking around.
Instead of thinking of everything you DON'T have...or things you WISH you had...start being thankful for what you DO have. Your physical health, youth, a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes on your back, family that loves you. The list is a long one.
I hope the two of you can become friends and encourage each other to keep fighting. You guys can PM each other about different things you like (music, TV)...talk about the dreams you have for the future. Just don't get caught up in exchanging a lot of negative thoughts. Be each other's cheerleader.
I'm so very happy to see some encouraging words, coming from someone who hasn't felt very encouraged. Amen!
It's true....as much as we may suffer with the burden of depression, or anxiety...think of how much worse other people have it. That's not to discount what YOU are going through, but sometimes it helps to get a little perspective. There are young children, who haven't even BEGUN to live, dying of cancer. Who WILL die through no fault of their own, never growing up, never having children of their own. How sad is that? There are people who lose the love of their life in a tragic car accident. Look at my friend...losing her young son, and almost losing her daughter! When I have bad days, or put myself into "pity party" mode, all I have to do is think of what SHE is going through, and I'm able to turn my thinking around.
Instead of thinking of everything you DON'T have...or things you WISH you had...start being thankful for what you DO have. Your physical health, youth, a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes on your back, family that loves you. The list is a long one.
I hope the two of you can become friends and encourage each other to keep fighting. You guys can PM each other about different things you like (music, TV)...talk about the dreams you have for the future. Just don't get caught up in exchanging a lot of negative thoughts. Be each other's cheerleader.
I'm so very happy to see some encouraging words, coming from someone who hasn't felt very encouraged. Amen!
"I want to end it,maybe i done it much earlier but i only not doing it because of my mom"
I used to be preoccupied with thoughts of suicide but didn't want to hurt my mom either. I knew it would kill her emotionally if I did and in my mind thought that I'd just wait till she died and then do myself in. I got strung out bad on cocaine in the 80's and was so depressed I considered slitting my throat, but couldn't bear the thought of her finding me in a blood bath.
In '96 I contracted Hepatitis C. I'd had Hep B&D in the 80's and heard that 70% of those people contract liver cancer within 20 years. I saw that as a death warrant and since I was going to die anyway, that made suicide a moot point.
It's 16 years later now. I'm still alive, my mom is still alive, and life is a lot better for me. I didn't take treatment for the HepC but quit drinking in '96 and try to take care of myself. When your liver fails it's not a very glamorous death and while I'm not afraid of it I'd kind of like to live my life out feeling as good as possible without going to extremes.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is it may seem dark now but things can get better, if you give it a chance.
I used to be preoccupied with thoughts of suicide but didn't want to hurt my mom either. I knew it would kill her emotionally if I did and in my mind thought that I'd just wait till she died and then do myself in. I got strung out bad on cocaine in the 80's and was so depressed I considered slitting my throat, but couldn't bear the thought of her finding me in a blood bath.
In '96 I contracted Hepatitis C. I'd had Hep B&D in the 80's and heard that 70% of those people contract liver cancer within 20 years. I saw that as a death warrant and since I was going to die anyway, that made suicide a moot point.
It's 16 years later now. I'm still alive, my mom is still alive, and life is a lot better for me. I didn't take treatment for the HepC but quit drinking in '96 and try to take care of myself. When your liver fails it's not a very glamorous death and while I'm not afraid of it I'd kind of like to live my life out feeling as good as possible without going to extremes.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is it may seem dark now but things can get better, if you give it a chance.
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I think a very lot of people know exactly what you're going through, and you will find a lot of support here at MH. You will not find a cure....
I know you're tired.... I bet you're even a little bit scared. It's understandable. From some of the things you've posted above, I bet you feel as if there is no help for you.... you are wrong....
Please consult with a mental health care professional for a proper diagnosis. Only then can a proper plan be formulated in order to deal with your disorder.