Aa
my husband laughed at me.
So my 10 year old son has to redo a math assignment. I have always been horrible at math and always beat myself up about how dumb Iam. I forget how to do long division and decide to txt my husband and ask for help. He called and asked what was wrong. I could hear a bunch of his men in the background. I told him I can't do long division and was really upset he laughed and said is that all. I just can't belive he laughed at me. Wow wonder why I put myself down all the time no wonder I feel so stupid I obviously am.
We have a wonderful marriage. And yes, I've said my piece and will leave it at that. I just hope it does blossom into him thinking about it. He knows I was upset and it left with him just acting like nothing happened. I hope he comes around and soon says " member the other day...." Ignoring it won't make me feel any better. I told him ouch that hurt. Now all I can do is wait.
Well, again, I'm all for husbands being sensitive but I think that when I was pregnant---- my husband probably had days he deserved a medal for dealing with me. (not saying that abotu you, but about MYSELF so please don't take offense.)
Perhaps the sensitivity and hormonal issues are wearing on him a bit and he is losing patience. I'm not saying that is right but I do think that we have a responsibility in a marriage to understand if we've taken part in an incident.
Personally, I would say one more time "I do NOT appreciate your laughing at me and feel a bit humiliated you did it in front of your coworkers. I need support and not teasing." And then move on.
Chalk it up to all are human and he acted badly. I'm sure you have as well at times.
Listen, I just don't want something that under different circumstances wouldn't have been a huge issue to become a huge issue now.
What I do with my husband when he's had a 'jerk' moment (which they all do) is say my peace. If he doesn't respond the way I want after doing that I look at it as 'planting a seed'. How many people have something said to them at one point and they resist it and then later they start to think about it and become contrite. Happens all the time. So, be heard that your feelings were hurt, plant your seed with him about it, and wait for it to blossom. Work on controlling your own emotions. And hopefully, all will be okay. You don't mention ongoing marriage problems, so assume this incident is just frustrating to you and not indicative of a horrible marriage, right?
Anyway, I'm stinky at math too. I use what I have to and put the bad memory of higher math out of my mind. Sadly, I'm going to have to relive it through my kids when they ask me for help. (ugh) But I don't think it makes me dumb to have a brain block for math. It's just not my 'thing." You're fine the way you are and you just need to get through the classes and this pregnancy. good luck
Perhaps the sensitivity and hormonal issues are wearing on him a bit and he is losing patience. I'm not saying that is right but I do think that we have a responsibility in a marriage to understand if we've taken part in an incident.
Personally, I would say one more time "I do NOT appreciate your laughing at me and feel a bit humiliated you did it in front of your coworkers. I need support and not teasing." And then move on.
Chalk it up to all are human and he acted badly. I'm sure you have as well at times.
Listen, I just don't want something that under different circumstances wouldn't have been a huge issue to become a huge issue now.
What I do with my husband when he's had a 'jerk' moment (which they all do) is say my peace. If he doesn't respond the way I want after doing that I look at it as 'planting a seed'. How many people have something said to them at one point and they resist it and then later they start to think about it and become contrite. Happens all the time. So, be heard that your feelings were hurt, plant your seed with him about it, and wait for it to blossom. Work on controlling your own emotions. And hopefully, all will be okay. You don't mention ongoing marriage problems, so assume this incident is just frustrating to you and not indicative of a horrible marriage, right?
Anyway, I'm stinky at math too. I use what I have to and put the bad memory of higher math out of my mind. Sadly, I'm going to have to relive it through my kids when they ask me for help. (ugh) But I don't think it makes me dumb to have a brain block for math. It's just not my 'thing." You're fine the way you are and you just need to get through the classes and this pregnancy. good luck
Specialmom, I know I'm overly sensitive right now. This isn't my first or second pregnancy its my third. I told him he hurt my feelings. I may be being over sensitive but he didn't apologize. That's why I'm angry still. He pretended nothing happened. I'm sure his laughing was a relife laugh but if I've ever hurt his feelings even when not intentional I would apologize. Life360-- its not a habit he will start we have been married almost 7 yrs and he never belittles me I was just looking for him to say sorry and that knowing what I'm going through he meant nothing by it. It seems he's angry I was being so silly and hurt by it all. Well IAM. I shouldn't feel in the wrong for being hormonal and sensitive.
Sweetie, I remember being pregnant. I was really sensitive. Perhaps he was worried that something BIG was wrong and then you say it is because you forgot how to do division. There are different ways to interpret the laughing. Perhaps you are sensitive and insecure and not stabilized currently and took the laughter the wrong way when in reality it could have been laughing out of relief it wasn't a BIG thing that was going on like your car broke down and you were stuck or a laugh about how cute his wife is that she gets upset about division.
My husband has affection for me. He can laugh at my shortcomings all day long as there isn't ill intent behind it. If it really hurts me for some reason, I tell him that you made me feel dumb today when you laughed at me and he'd probably say sorry.
I just encourage you to take a step back during this pregnancy and not create marriage problems when there may be no reason for them.
I am all for husbands being loving, sweet and supportive but also realize that they are human and sometimes my OWN 'stuff' is deflected to them and that isn't always fair.
good luck and happy pregnancy.
My husband has affection for me. He can laugh at my shortcomings all day long as there isn't ill intent behind it. If it really hurts me for some reason, I tell him that you made me feel dumb today when you laughed at me and he'd probably say sorry.
I just encourage you to take a step back during this pregnancy and not create marriage problems when there may be no reason for them.
I am all for husbands being loving, sweet and supportive but also realize that they are human and sometimes my OWN 'stuff' is deflected to them and that isn't always fair.
good luck and happy pregnancy.
If i ever told my wife that, she would really be mad and tell me who do i think i am! and then maybe not speak for the rest of the day and not cook. He has no right to laugh at you. Tell him that, whos he? mister smart guy? If you dont do something he will do it again and create a habit.
Rain yes it really is. He doesn't understand bipolar and hasn't tried. With all his diagnosis and medications I look each up online to become more familar with what is going on w him. I doubt he has ever googled bipolar. If he had any idea he would know when I'm manic and not just say I talk to much. When I'm manic I'm hyper as h*ll. Right now I'm on an all time low. I just wish he would hold me and say he wishes he could help. I know he can't make me better this is a lifelong struggle, but it would be nice to see he understands or is trying to. I'm not just a hormonal pregnant women I'm sick and not on meds. He can take a kolonapin and chill out I don't have that luxury. Just pissed at him but more at me for letting him get to me.
This is a very sad situation & your husband really needs to be more understanding.
See I know I'm not dumb. I was on the deans list for 3 semester's. I haven't been un a college classroom since 01'. I'm terrified of going back even the placement test scares me. What ***** is he didn't even say sorry when he knew how hurt I was. It was a quiet akward night here. I have dealt with his ptsd the best I can. I'm always supportive when he has breakdowns and never laugh at his irrational fears. This morning I was getting my kids ready for school when he came storming out of the bedroom looking at me the Wtf?! He was late for formation (army). Some days he doesn't go in till 9 and I assumed that was why he wasn't up. How can I be at fault that he over slept???!! I didn't do anything wrong but I feel like he's mad at me for just the smallest things. I'm pregnant and suffer bipolar. Right now I'm not on any meds because I'm pregnant. Have some compassion is all I ask. Still so sad. Woke up crying fell asleep like that too.
your NOT stupid! Theres a LOT of people who have a hard time with math, and that includes me! I constantly struggle in school with it, its hard because all the others are learning algebra and all that and i just sit there looking stupid. Anything beyond the basic stuff...and my brain shuts down and i cant do it! No matter how hard i try. The teacher has spent entire class periods sitting in a chair next to my desk trying to help me with my math, and it never gets me no where. Just because math isnt "your thing" doesnt make you stupid! Everybody is smart in there own way, while one person thrives at math and you dont, there is most likely something your really good at that they are not. Please dont refer to yourself as stupid, because your not! It was a little bit mean for you husband to laugh at you for this, im sure he didnt mean to hurt your feelings, maybe tell him how it made you feel?. Tell him if he knows so much, then he should start helping him with his math!
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