Wow. This place sure isn't what it used to be. Sorry to see such a decline.
Jaybay I am so very sorry about Doc.
Honestly? I feel you are doing the right thing. I watched my grandmother die of kidney failure when I was about 12. With our beloved dogs we have the option to take the pain away. What a blessing. Unfortunate that humans don't get that choice...
I think it is the best idea to get your vet to speak to your husband. I can understand him thinking "Where there's life there's hope" ....etc. But end stage kidney failure doesn't carry that kind of hope.
He wants to eat but eating poisons him. What sort of life is that?
Bless you, and dear Doc. My heart goes out to you. Doc has had a heck of a good ride, this life. He's been a member of your family and been loved.
This is never easy. Thinking of you.
Ahhh, Sylvie. I'm glad you're here, and thank you for your response. I did get the vet to give it to him straight, and we were ready as we could be for Thursday. Doc had other plans of his own. He surged back Wednesday night, ate well with no seizures and got to be his old self for some 36 hours. He even chased squirrels and dug holes in the garden and happily ran around with his pack mates. It was crazy. However, by then neither of us could go through with it that day.
Friday morning, Husband was back in denial and went off to work leaving me to watch Doc's deteriorate again. Even without eating, his blood was so toxic that seizure symptoms slowly came on, so I made the call.
Our wonderful vet gave us a truckload of Valium and phenobarbital to sedate Doc so he would never even know he left home. "Home" being the hastily built garage suite since we flooded on April 18th. All the meds did was make him very happily stoned. I've never seen anything like it. Doc jumped up and ate a big dinner, swiped some off the other dogs as he always used to do, and generally partied for his last 2 hours.
It all went pear shaped when we got to the clinic. The vet was shocked at what he saw so prepared for an IV drip. Doc spazzed at the shaver and wouldn't let the vet anywhere near him by then. It was beyond horrific. Doc knew something bad was coming and only wanted me to make it go away.
So. Plan C. Vet quickly dove in behind me with a shot of succynol choline to the neck quickly followed by the euthanasia meds. It was over before Doc knew what hit him. And yes, the vet thoroughly explained the whys and how's before doing anything.
We feel devastated that the nice, peaceful drifting off we had planned blew up so badly. It's nothing anyone could have predicted and we certainly don't blame our vet. He's always very calm and takes whatever time the animal needs to stay calm too. Just didn't work out this time.
The only thing I'm grateful for is that we spared Doc more suffering, and that he had a terrific day Thursday. Other than that, all is black and doom and gloom and constantly reliving his last two hours. I look forward to the eventual day that the tears stop. And I shouldn't neglect to say I'm grateful for you too.:-)