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He doesnt ejaculate - is he cheating?
Hi.. my boyfriend and I are both 49. We do not live together, we live about 20 minute drive from each other..Our sex life has been deteriorating as we are having less and less sex. Last month we only had sex on 3 occasions, so far this month it has only been twice. He rarely ejaculates with me.
When we do have sex this is what happens...1. He is hard, we have sex but he does not ejaculate or 2. he shows little interest in having sex, I try to initiate it and he either does not go hard or he does not stay hard and goes soft during sex again not ejaculating.
I have been through the mental anguish of blaming myself ie not being attractive enough, he has lost attraction to me, im too old, im not doing things right etc etc.. We have had many discussions about this and he reassures me that its not my fault. He says its his physiology. I have begged him to do somethiing about it so he went to the doctor to get a prescriptiion for Viagra and came back with no prescription but 2 sample packs. We used these 2 tablets and he told me that they didnt give him a headache or anything so he would get a prescription. He didnt do it. We continue to have problems and he doesnt do anything about it. Instead he gets angry with me.
He has no problem masterbating and I know he continues with that as he often leaves t-shirts on his bedroom floor that he has used to "clean himself up" after masterbating. It is not uncommon for me to find several heavily stained t-shirts in his room so he obviously has no physical problem ejaculating.
But things have changed. Last week I offered to to his laundry for him. There were no stained t-shirts, however, there were 4 pairs of his underpants that were stained with ejaculate inside the front of them. At first he tried to tell me that he had used them to wipe himself like he did with the t-shirts. When I pointed out that the stains were located in the front inside in each pair, he then tried to tell me that he had masturbated lying on his stomach and that is how the stains got there. I really dont believe that. And although not as heavily stained as the t-shirts, the underwear was heavily stained and way too much to be from pre-ejaculate or leakage.
There is a culture evolved in his work place where the female account managers think that if one of their male colleagues take them out for lunch that they have to give him oral sex. I am worried now that this is what is going on with him now.. Does anyone know if that would explain the stains in his underpants? For example, if someone gave him oral sex in his car, is it possible that his underpants would be stained this way?
Would there be any reason why he cant or is reluctant to ejaculate with me, yet there is overwhelming evidence that he has no problem ejaculating when he is not with me?
We have had a long distance relationship for almost 2 years, I moved interstate to be closer to him so we could have a "normal" relationship 6 months ago. So really, our relationship is still new and as we werent spending much time together before, I feel our relationship should be as exciting as one that is only 6 months old.
He tells me its his physiology and quite often his reaction to me trying to discuss this problem is that he instantly gets angry, regardless of how tactful and non confronting and no blaming I am.. It is really confusing me. I am sad. He says he loves me. He continues to make plans for our future together. But something doesnt seem right to me.
Either way there is something very wrong with our sex life..there appears to be very litte if anything in the tank for me... im finding the situation distressing and its affecting my self esteem. Now it is affecting my trust in him.
I guess I am trying to get point of view from other people by posting on here....
When we do have sex this is what happens...1. He is hard, we have sex but he does not ejaculate or 2. he shows little interest in having sex, I try to initiate it and he either does not go hard or he does not stay hard and goes soft during sex again not ejaculating.
I have been through the mental anguish of blaming myself ie not being attractive enough, he has lost attraction to me, im too old, im not doing things right etc etc.. We have had many discussions about this and he reassures me that its not my fault. He says its his physiology. I have begged him to do somethiing about it so he went to the doctor to get a prescriptiion for Viagra and came back with no prescription but 2 sample packs. We used these 2 tablets and he told me that they didnt give him a headache or anything so he would get a prescription. He didnt do it. We continue to have problems and he doesnt do anything about it. Instead he gets angry with me.
He has no problem masterbating and I know he continues with that as he often leaves t-shirts on his bedroom floor that he has used to "clean himself up" after masterbating. It is not uncommon for me to find several heavily stained t-shirts in his room so he obviously has no physical problem ejaculating.
But things have changed. Last week I offered to to his laundry for him. There were no stained t-shirts, however, there were 4 pairs of his underpants that were stained with ejaculate inside the front of them. At first he tried to tell me that he had used them to wipe himself like he did with the t-shirts. When I pointed out that the stains were located in the front inside in each pair, he then tried to tell me that he had masturbated lying on his stomach and that is how the stains got there. I really dont believe that. And although not as heavily stained as the t-shirts, the underwear was heavily stained and way too much to be from pre-ejaculate or leakage.
There is a culture evolved in his work place where the female account managers think that if one of their male colleagues take them out for lunch that they have to give him oral sex. I am worried now that this is what is going on with him now.. Does anyone know if that would explain the stains in his underpants? For example, if someone gave him oral sex in his car, is it possible that his underpants would be stained this way?
Would there be any reason why he cant or is reluctant to ejaculate with me, yet there is overwhelming evidence that he has no problem ejaculating when he is not with me?
We have had a long distance relationship for almost 2 years, I moved interstate to be closer to him so we could have a "normal" relationship 6 months ago. So really, our relationship is still new and as we werent spending much time together before, I feel our relationship should be as exciting as one that is only 6 months old.
He tells me its his physiology and quite often his reaction to me trying to discuss this problem is that he instantly gets angry, regardless of how tactful and non confronting and no blaming I am.. It is really confusing me. I am sad. He says he loves me. He continues to make plans for our future together. But something doesnt seem right to me.
Either way there is something very wrong with our sex life..there appears to be very litte if anything in the tank for me... im finding the situation distressing and its affecting my self esteem. Now it is affecting my trust in him.
I guess I am trying to get point of view from other people by posting on here....
Hi Brockenhearted, sonnds like things are on the wain, but at least your trying, at 49 it could be his libido on the down side, you could try him on some DHEA its a hormon, but please read up about it first, as it can have the odd funny side effect with the od person, it will help boost his testosterone, lift his libido, and kick up his energy levels, and if you get him try some Tribulus, its a herb, they run along the same lines but its just another boost for him and you.
You say hes masturbating, but this like me may take some time, and could be why he does not ejeculate why having sex, and again like this happens, but mine was from ED and now in recovery, but these things still happen to me, and Viagra do not work for me either gave me HBP.
The problem is us men, think were OK till we hit a brick wall, and some men dont like to get help.
You will have to be honest with him and say you have been looking for help for him, as you want your sex lives back to normal.
Do hope this helps.
Good Luck
You say hes masturbating, but this like me may take some time, and could be why he does not ejeculate why having sex, and again like this happens, but mine was from ED and now in recovery, but these things still happen to me, and Viagra do not work for me either gave me HBP.
The problem is us men, think were OK till we hit a brick wall, and some men dont like to get help.
You will have to be honest with him and say you have been looking for help for him, as you want your sex lives back to normal.
Do hope this helps.
Good Luck
Ditto above.
Also, if he were getting oral sex from someone in his car, yes, he could possibly be ejaculating not in the other person's mouth but in his underwear. The way he is acting about you, I would frankly question whether he is hiding that he is getting sex from guys, I wouldn't assume automatically it's some female account manager.
Also, and very seriously!!!! Report the company's asinine and illegal attitude that females have to give men oral sex as an implicit condition of employment to the president of the company (if the company is large) or to the state government agency in charge of sexual harassment claims. Give enough detail to be persuasive; department, names, anything you have. How would you like yourself, your best friend, or your daughter to be working in a company where there is "a culture" where the female account managers think that if one of their male colleagues take them out for lunch that they have to give him oral sex? (Boy, that sure would put me off of lunch invitations.) If this is really true in his company, it is flat out against the law, as it is is no better than forced prostitution, and someone should blow the whistle. How can you even wonder if that is OK?
Also, if he were getting oral sex from someone in his car, yes, he could possibly be ejaculating not in the other person's mouth but in his underwear. The way he is acting about you, I would frankly question whether he is hiding that he is getting sex from guys, I wouldn't assume automatically it's some female account manager.
Also, and very seriously!!!! Report the company's asinine and illegal attitude that females have to give men oral sex as an implicit condition of employment to the president of the company (if the company is large) or to the state government agency in charge of sexual harassment claims. Give enough detail to be persuasive; department, names, anything you have. How would you like yourself, your best friend, or your daughter to be working in a company where there is "a culture" where the female account managers think that if one of their male colleagues take them out for lunch that they have to give him oral sex? (Boy, that sure would put me off of lunch invitations.) If this is really true in his company, it is flat out against the law, as it is is no better than forced prostitution, and someone should blow the whistle. How can you even wonder if that is OK?
Well, I'm not sure why you are interested in him. It doesn't sound like a very satisfactory relationship. He isn't a good communicator and the sex isn't good. I think I would move on and join and gym to improve my self-esteem and feel attractive to the opposite sex.
Further to my post above.. he had a vasectomy in Jan this year. He said he was doing this so I wouldnt have to go on the pill or have a hysterectomy. This just confuses me more as he has only ejaculated inside me 3 times so there is very little chance of a pregnancy and it seems like very little reason to have a vasectomy. He has ejaculated when I give him oral sex. The total number of time he has actually ejaculated, regardless of the situation would be no more than 10.
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STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
