And theres raelly no place where I can put it all.Its just...sometiems it gets to be too much: I have depression, asperger's, panic disorder (mega scale; about 4-5 hours of it today), a mitral valve prolapse...I have some messed up neurological prolem that makes it so all physical sensation is pain (this has always been the case, since i was born.) Extrem vertigo, terible migraines..unreasonable fear, paranoia..i have a bowel problem, some sort of IBS, which *****. I have a genetic condition that screwed up my enamel, so my teeth rotted and I had to get all of them root canaled, gum surgery, permanent crowns, etc. last year I got a staph infection that led to around 40 scars, including a nickle sized one on my face, massive insomnia problems, and basically find it extremely difficult to find a good reason to get up in the morning. I don't have any means of paying for healthcare since, obviously, working would be a tad difficult.
I'll be 26 years old next month.
Okay, I think thats all of it. Oh, and becomes I probably used really distresing words, I want to make this clear. For some reason (And this tends to astound some people) im not in any way interested or considering or even thinking about suicide. My words are indeed of distress, but defiant distress. I want my life to get on track. (I suddenly depersonalized at this point. so the rest of the message is..not coherent.) The extremes eventually cease, but they're always right there, and I know it.
So, um, yeah. All that. Boy thats depressing to read. I think i might throw up. So...anyone know some ways i can come with this constant irritant? Im very exhausted from it all.