I cannot cope with losing my mom

[abby51]

My mom suddenly and unexpectedly died 2 weeks ago It has been a horrible couple of weeks. I am extremely worried about my dad and how he will cope. He keeps saying he is ok but I know better than that because we are having the worst days of out lives. We have a great support system of friends, however, all I want is my mom to be back. She had not been ill and stopped talking and just died. I never expected to be so young (I am a college student) and going through this. I know it is not easy at any age but I just though we would have more time. People have told me I need to learn to work through the pain but I do not think that can be done. The funeal arrangements and the funeral itself were very overwhelming...almost 350 people were at the funeral...and I know all those people were there for support but very few of them understand the pain we are feeling of losing my mom so suddenly and unexpected.

[Learivs1990]

I am reading these comments and I am beginning to not feel alone. My mum died suddenly and totally unexpectedly last week. She was 51 and I am 24. I know it is still recent and I know the pain will never leave me but I am getting married in a week and a half and I don't know how to even get up in the morning let alone do something so important. I just don't know what to do. Reading that I am not alone in these feelings help. My mum was my best friend and was so excited for our big day. I am just an empty shell right now..

[sherbsville]

My mum was stolen from me Jan 25th. I've read through all these posts, and my heart is breaking for each and every one of you.

I still don't believe it.How can my Mum be gone?! I feel like I'm in a play too Helen. It doesn't feel real, yet at the same time I can't stop sobbing and screaming.

It was Mums birthday March 11th, mine March 8th, her funeral March 4th and it's Mothers day on Sunday(there's gonna be an inquest, so I daren't detail what happened, other than to say, she should still be here)Why did they do this to my mum? I don't see how I can get through this. I don't want to get through this. I'm meant to be strong for my dad, but all I want is my Mum to come home. I need my mum, and I don't know how to fix this.

I'm the one who made her go to the outpatient procedure. It's my fault. We both had bad feelings about it. the day before she said she wasn't ready to leave me yet. She begged me not to make her go, that they were going to kill her. I'd been saying to dad, we need to change the appointment. He said what if we change it, and something happens, then it is our fault. He said she'd be home in a few hours, it's a simple thing. the morning of the procedure, Mum again begged me not to make her go. I lied, and told her it'd be ok. I remember looking at her, and thinking, if she dies, you will remember for the rest of your life that you lied to your Mum. I hope the rest of my life isn't long, so I don't have this pain anymore.

I'm sorry this is so long, I didn't mean it to be. I just need my mum. My mum will make it better. I'm 41, well, 42 now. My Mum was 80, but a good 80. Fully independent, smart, funny, and so so kind. Why out of all the people in the world did they have to torture my mum to death.

[Helen1969]

Hi I lost my mum 3 weeks ago I cried the first week was numb and went quiet the second , we had her funeral 2 days ago and now I feel that I'm living in some sort of play!!! I miss her so much we was so close, she was 78 and I'm 51 I feel sad as I wanted more time with her
I have to go to work but I am a manager of a care home for the elderly which is so hard.
I am so lost

[trm99]

Thought i'd check the internet to see if there are a few or possibly many going through whats happened in my life lately. Seems there are. Youngest son of three boys. Gotta say a true momma's boy from the start. She fell from a ladder oct 14th. Minutes after we just talked….and i'm the one who found her. So its been three months. Stuffed myself in building projects to occupy my thought racing brain. Stuffed myself in booze to ease the heartache. Stuffed myself with anger because theres nothing that I can do for my her, now. And thats probably been the toughest. I'm thirty-four without children and spent the last few years of my life traveling and fulfilling what i thought was my own mark in life. Like achieving; turning over all the rocks to see whats hidden. But regardless the distance Mom would always send prayers and find a way to keep in touch. Met back up with a friend who I've known for several years and it was like love at first sight all over again. She still wasn't married either. She's been comforting and now the thought of having grandchildren for my Mom to spoil is no longer possible. She did tell me not to break her heart and she was a true "keeper" months before the accident. I'll remember those words for the rest of my life. They say, "you'll always have her near, just need to remember the good." Well, thats impossible to do. I lay awake or dream about her. Still trying to find a way to help her like she's always done for me. Missing her laughter and touch. I was her favorite of the three and find complete strangers telling me how they knew her, and she always would say how proud she was of me.  Staying with my father and currently laying in my old bedroom where i grew up and typing this. All i can say to those above this post is I'm incredibly sorry. Guess all we do is keep plugging.

[Cre75]

I lost my precious Mama on July 20th 2013. It was expected but didn't make it any easier. My parents and I have always been VERY close and that continued with my family after I married and had children. She was my biggest fan and her love was unconditional....same for my daughters. She was very sick for a long time even bedridden for 4 years before she passed. My Daddy took excellent care of her and I was there when I wasn't working.She depended on me and I was there for her. I am proud of the relationship we had and would not trade those memories for anything. When she first passed, I threw myself into projects around the house and would work all day until I would collapse in bed at night. I started a new job a couple months later and threw myself into that....never allowing myself time to grieve and deal with my loss. That place of business closed down and I have been sick with different things lately and have tons of time to think. The hurt and anger I feel is indescribable. I don't see the light at the end if the tunnel and I don't see a happy ending. I know people say "Don't give up" and I am not doing it intentionally but it's like my feelings and emotions and drive are shutting down like I can't take an ore so m mind is protecting me.I just wish I could find some peace.

[Eulily72]

Thanks so to everyone here for this forum.
I lost my mother on 22 June after many years of chronic illness and increasing disability. I thought I was prepared for her passing as it had been a possibility many times over the years when things had gone wrong...but she always rallied and got better enough to go back home and carry on.
I thought somehow that it would be something of a relief when she did go, as she had suffered so much and was in so much pain. I was with her constantly for the last few months and right up until the end.
There is absolutely no relief in her passing - all there is is emptiness and agonising pain. The whole world has shifted and its out of focus and I cant find any consolation or comfort in anything. I don't want to go back to the work and the studies I was so enjoying before, I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone - nothing has any meaning anymore.
My mother was a much loved nurse for many years - she was amazing. Now all I can think about is becoming a nurse, or caring for frail/aged people as nothing else seems worthwhile.