Lost

[Arod06]

Hi I just recently became a widdow. The year anniversery is comming up in june. I feel so lost being a mother of 3. My husband commited suicide june 23 2012 leaving me and our 3 kids I am only 25 and very lost, any advice is welcome and appreciated.

[Arod06]

thank you I only feel alone mostly because after  his death his side of the family pretty much up and left us because they blamed me for him committed suicide but I've never done anything wrong to anybody or him I love my husband we were together for 10 years I've been trying to do this all by myself I have support from my mom but she can only do so  much I haven't tried and grief counseling kind of scary because I don't want the end of committing me and I am only thing my kids have left

[mammo]

I am so sorry for your loss and all you've been enduring.  My husband died leaving me with there babies ages 4 and under and I can relate to how you're feeling.  I put all my time and energy into my kids, they are what carried me through the tough times.  I focused on making the best possible life for them and myself and did okay.  Then I met a man that fell in love with me and my kids and was the best father ever!  The same will happen for you when the timing is right.  For now you have to just stay focused on moving forward as your pain is still so fresh.  I felt lost too, and like I couldn't do it all on my own but I did because I loved my kids and they deserved everything I could give them. I think I was so bent on making a good life for them that I had little time to think about me.  Please know you're not alone and I'm always here if you want to talk or just vent.  It also helps to keep a journal of all your feelings and thoughts.  This serves as a form of release for us and is very therapeutic...even if you just toss the pages away.  Write about everything you are feeling and thinking...just write.  You'll get through this one day at a time, don't think beyond that or it will be overwhelming for you.  Be patient with yourself, you and your children have been through so much.  You may even want to see a grief counselor to help you deal with this, it's very sad and tragic and I hope it helps to know you are definitely not alone.  Big hugs to you....