Do I need PEP

[tommyt82]

I am looking for some advice regarding an incident in the early hours of Friday morning - please bear with me as I have a pretty bad diagnosed anxiety disorder.

I had some drinks at home with friends and ended up blind drunk. In the early hours of Friday morning I left my flat and walked to the local gay sauna - fortunately it was closed (I was so drunk I entered the pin wrong on all my bank cards at the ATM so I wouldn't have been able to pay in had it been opened anyway) so I'm pretty confident I didn't have sex with anyone in there.

My worry however is that I may have met someone on the street and had sex with them therefore putting myself at risk of HIV. I can't remember meeting anyone never mind having sex however I can't remember leaving the flat or getting back so I'm very worried. My friend says I'm catastrophising as usual and that if I can remember being at the ATM then I would remember having sex but my head is racing and I keep thinking that something must have happened as I have a bruise and cut on my foot (I was wearing flip flops) and a stain on the front of my t shirt which automatically made me think it was semen - my friend thinks I'm being a nutcase and that it would be highly unlikely that I would meet an HIV positive gay male at 2:30am on the street willing to have sex with a blind drunk Irishman. He also thinks I would have felt it the next day and also that I would have been too drunk to have sex anyway.

Do you think it's likely that I had sex and just can't remember it and that I've put myself at risk of HIV? Do I need pep?

My anxiety just seems to get worse and worse.

Please give me your advice - I've already decided never to drink again (even though I don't drink very often).

[joggen]

This is an OCD concern, not an HIV concern. Your friend was correct. Please take up any further questions with a mental health professional. Your issues are beyond the scope of help that an HIV forum can provide.

[tommyt82]

Thanks,

The thing is I'm not dreaming, I did leave my flat and walk down to the sauna/ use the ATM etc - I'm just worried because I cant remember the walk back - this is whats causing me to freak out as obviously I went to the sauna looking for sex.

Do you still think its a non risk and that I would remember? Surely if I remember being at the ATM I would remember sex despite not remembering the walk home - can you be so drunk you totally forget sex and meeting someone - and then not be aware of it the next day? I must have fallen at some point as I have these bruises but I dont remember falling and thats making me more paranoid.

I willl be seeking help for my mental health issues and I dont want to take up anymore of your time - I value your judgement and wont post again if you could just respond to this.

Thanks

[RainLover71]

You don,t need nPEP you need to wake up from this dream you just had.Your friend is right,you never had a risk you would have known if you had sex its not something you forget.