I have a hiv anxiety for decade,I have sex with girl and condom broke 14 years ago,since then I have anxiety problem,2 years before I have sex with 2 girl only,it’s about 2 years ago,the condom never broke,the girl I have sex are also look fine.now I have a girlfriend that I love her very much,we date about 4 months.we hug and kisses a lot,she is ready for sex but I can’t do because of this hiv anixiety,I am so paranoid and thinking negative thoughts like she will infected hiv if I sex with her.so this thoughts makes me me so panic and stress.I want to test for hiv but I cannot test.sometimes I think I don’t test and have sex with her but negative thoughts makes me crazy,it’s 24 hours in my mind.Need some help,Thankyou