For anyone who comes across this post who is also worried, please refer to this:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Anxiety-Support/Protected-Sex-and-CSWs--PLEASE-READ/show/1250356
This post knocked out every single concern I had one by one, and while the anxiety isn't gone, I feel "ok" for the first time since the event.
I also saw some posts from you Vance, that go back years. For consistently helping people here I'm sure we are all very thankful for it, and for anyone else that provides information constantly. Thank you all. The forum has reduced my anxiety to a manageable level, and I have only you guys to thank.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'll get tested at the earliest possible time to ease my head and post the results here. Thank you <3
No, most deal with a range of issues.
Vance, any specific type of therapist?
Any advice on how to move on from this? For as much as I acknowledge that there is literally no chance I have it, I can't stop obsessing, I can't be "normal". I can concentrate when studying... I don't feel like myself. I keep telling myself that despite the facts there's some way that there is something going wrong with me.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
The condom basically reduces all std's to zero
One last question. So because I wore a condom the entire time and she literally didn't touch me anywhere the condom wasn't, and when I checked it it wasn't broken, there's no chance that I could have contracted HIV, correct? I think I'm freaking out more because I know she is an escort and probably has a higher likelihood of having something, but since I wore a condom the whole time and it didn't break, then the actual person I had sex with is irrelevant right? Is me assuming that I got HIV from this interaction, even though all the facts point to no, almost the equivalent of me assuming/freaking out randomly that I have brain cancer when I get a headache? I'm just trying to get a gauge of how much my mind is actually distorting this situation because it's so clouded right now.
Once again, thank you all so much for taking the time to write back to me. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.
Thank you guys, seriously. It has helped a lot. Mike, that is exactly me right now. To say lesson learned would be an understatement. I go from seeing responses like everyone here's and thinking "ryan you made an awful decision but you're fine," then 10 later it's code red you're dying. I'm just trying to figure out how I can made it till the testing window, everyone's responses surely help.
Thank you everyone for taking time to respond, it means more than you know. Tomorrow will be he last possible day I'm eligible for the pep medicine so it may be the most difficult yet, I keep thinking of a month down the road seeing a positive test and knowing I could have possibly changed the outcome, and it's eating away at me.
Hi ryan
I know how you feel.I used to be like you.I have twice been exposed like you do and taken tests every week until 6 months.I also one time condom broken and having ARS symptom on the 4 weeks fever, sore throat, rash all over my chest and my back then took test on 3 months and turn out negative.Now i volunteer for hiv non profit group.i conducted hiv screening test for a year. With my experience for your case.....nah no chance you have the risk.just relax.
Hi Ryan,
Trust the replies you received here.
You are putting yourself through hell for no reason.
Guilt is powerful also. You said you won't do this again to deal with life issues.
Congratulations for living and learning.
Please move on from this with what you learned. Knowledge is power and this experience showed you how to better deal with things.
I'm trying really hard Mike. I know I'm doing this to myself, I saw it with my own eyes, condom did its job, nothing escaped it which means nothing entered it, but I'm having such a hard time accepting that, I don't know why, I'm telling myself I missed something, telling myself there are microscopic holes, anything I can think of. I might check myself into emergency therapy because I'm not thinking clearly.
I even asked the girl, and she didn't understand English well at all but texted back "no" when I asked if she has any infections or diseases. I don't know why I'm doing this
Dont worry.no risk no hiv.just go do some activities with your friends and family.
I will never do this again, I'm so scared right now and I have no idea what to do. I feel like if I don't get the pep medication I'm going to freak out until I can get tested.
I do have some problems that I have ignored up until this point, but getting an escort is not how I will handle them in the future, it's time to get actual help. I'm stressing myself into a really bad place right now. If anyone has any expierence with this medically, I would love someone to talk to right now on the phone
U wouldn't notice symptoms in 72 hours. Ur freaking yourself out. Relax.
Your condome was intact. Your fine. To rest your mind get a test.
So the Big question is this,
ARE YOU GOING To DO THIS AGAIN?????!!!!!
Bet you will.
Your penis is ruling and ruining your life.
Maybe?
Thank you mike. No risk is what I need to hear. Honestly, thank you.
Protected sex means no risk.relax and calm down
I don't know. I'll admit, I'm not the most educated when it comes to protected vs unprotected, I really don't know much. I'm sorry.
Unless condoms can come with small openings from the manufacturer, it looked to me that it was completely effective, but like I said my ignorance with the subject is causing this to consume every one of my thoughts. Thanks for the reply however, I really appreciate it
Your sex was protected how could you catch hiv??