Having sex with some one new

[adlowery1]

Hi

I am after some advice. I am not out as a gay man and find it difficult to have a regular partner. I have only had sex 3 times with a man and it was all safe mutual masturbation. I can not come out at the moment to family but have been chatting to a man online we have had cyber sex and regular text each other.

Two weeks ago we met and had mutual masturbation which from the forums confirmed no risk. I now feel as though I want to come out of my box a little but want to play it safe. I have asked his status and he advises that he has only been with 2 people but didnt say whether they were protected but advised that he doesnt sleep around.

To make sure I am safe and if I decide to take this further I was thinking of Kissing, mutual masturbation and oral with condoms. I am not sure how you start to trust someone other than to say lets get tested but as this is new I am thinking if I stick to the above I should be fine, and as we get to know each other go down the testing route. However I am finding it uncertain as to how to deal with this risk of meeting someone online as I cant meet people any other way due to my circumstances.

Is anyone else in my position, can anyone give advise on how they deal with the HIV risk when meeting someone new and after all sex is enjoyment but this is in the back of my mind which stops the enjoyment part.

Thanks. Hope I havent rambled would just like some advice please

Thanks

Alan

[kdaily]

At least you are aware of this and not just jumping in having unprotected sex... Good for you, and tech. it is hard to trust anyone today which is why having a testing date is the best thing ever...

Even then ppl are unfaithful and that is where trust and respect should play a role.. Good luck and continue your safe practices... good to see someone ask questions =)

[adlowery1]

Thanks Lizzie Lou I would never do that but it is the fear of trusting someone and how I overcome this with whether you can believe them initially then how to make sure I am staying safe, I feel as though I continually look for problems instead of saying okay no unprotected anal and enjoy yourself but I dont know if that is guilt because its not monagamous I think I am struggling to come to terms with how I start a sexual encounter and stay safe. Good advise from you and thanks.

[LIZZIE LOU]

do NOT have unprotected anal sex until you are in a mongamous relationship and both of you have tested together...dont take someone's word for it

sex lasts a few minutes...hiv lasts a lifetime ! ! !