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1582614 tn?1310324908

Feel so alone in this nightmare HELP

Hello all it's me Denise back again. last weds was shot 7. I am on AD effexor, was working until lately. My problem... I am so emotional and my family just doesn't get it. My husband is so nasty and critical of me. Can't come home from work without saying something to hurt me. My daughter (26) is here "helping" til end of month. She's been here for 2 mnths. She wakes up nasty to me. I disgust her. I'm a bad mother, etc... all the while I want to scream but I have to try to keep the peace because of my 6 yr old son. I have a very disfunctional family. I'm loosing it. Why can't my family just try to keep me calm and understand that my head is so messed up right now. If I ask for help with something it's like I'm asking for an arm or I am lazy/or exagerating. So much more to tell. I don't know where to turn. No one understands. I'm so tired, I can't sleep, MY family gets me so worked up I have shaking panic attacks. Doc also gave me klonopin for panic attacks. Not really helping. On top of it I'm going thru pre-mentalpause, ra factor over 500, lower back, hands & shoulder hurt and have limited mobility, have rumatolosist app tues. Also have neutropenia. potasium low. Red cells are still good though! Sorry for rambling. My parents are gone my family can't stand me. I want to do this for my son! Yes I know everyone goes thru crap during tx. But I have no one. :(
Best Answer
233616 tn?1312787196
so sorry you are having these issues. It doesn't make our families change, but to know others went through it too... it does help to know it's common and you aren't alone.

It's harder to be a caregiver than we realize. We are the ones with the shakes, the skin with ants crawling around on it, the ones who can't get enough air to walk to the mailbox...or stand up in the shower, and yet THEY are the ones angry and resentful???

well yes, but there are reasons. they love you, and they are going through the stages of grief.  They don't want to lose you or see you sick, they are scared...for you and for themselves....they will have to process their anger, their bargaining with God, etc...and fnally get hopefully through grieving and come full circle...full circle is a return to love, to acceptance, to caring.  If you look up the stages of grief, you will see how we process death and disease. Sometimes folks don't process, they get stuck in the forst stages and never make it past them...they need help.

we are expecting our families to be OK but not all folks can be on their own.  Even ones with faith in God can get anxious for us.  Have you thought of trying to get your hubby or daughter to see someone?? Be it a pastor or a psychologist I think it's worth a try.

the psychologist really helped my husband, and he was getting very ansy...there's just a lot of stress..on top of which I got so messed up I could stand up to even cook, much less shop. Very tired.  For a lot of men, that is a real issue if they've never done it.

for your daughter it just sounds like she has her own life, and doesn't like having to be inserted into yours.I've seen more than one young woman melt down when expected to return the love that was freely given to them for years.  If she can't handle it, let her go...the resentment isn't worth it.  
If push comes to shove you can get help for what she does. And my six year old learned to cook his own oatmeal and a whole host of other things. They can be really grown up when the need arises.  
It might help you to make sure and get on Epogen if your HB goes low...and it might help to show your husband a list of the common symptoms of treatment, and of oxygen deprivation.  Perhaps he's be a little more understanding if he saw that list in print.
Anyway, keep your chin up, this too shall pass.
54 Responses
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1732853 tn?1366758928
Woohoo.......That is GREAT NEWS!  I am soooo excited for you!  
Helpful - 0
1669790 tn?1333662595
Well that should put a little pep in your step!  Great news like this help to make the challenge of trt worth the fight.  Keep up the good work.
Helpful - 0
1582614 tn?1310324908
Hello all... I have some good news today! Last week's lab work (wk 7) my doc ordered the viral log (not sure what it's called at the moment brain fart). And and...... HCV RNA no detected!!!
<43 HCV log 10 unable to calculate :-) oh my! wow! I have to go do my shot now but I want to respond to all of you but I can't get my printer to work cause I had to take it out of my daughter/computer room. And I can't get the darn thing to print. I want to print this whole post. I'll be back later. Should I start a new post to update all with today's news? Thanks again for all the great advise and prayers xoxo Denise
Helpful - 0
1639131 tn?1510818631
That's really the pits. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of that while having to deal with tx as well. I think it would be good for both of them to read some posts on here and to do a little research befor they are so fast to tell you you're faking. That's like telling some one on chemo they are faking and they don't need help. I'm only going on my third injection tonight but I can still say with out a dought that this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and if my life didn't depend on me beating this thing I would stop right now as I'm sure many others would as well. So I know it's very hard but just try to stay strong and as others were saying thank your daughter and dismiss her and maybe ask nicley for her to do a little research on here and other sources as well to help understand and it does sound like a great idea to find a suport group ASAP because as all of us will be with you every step of the way it will be good for you to meet some people that can be there with you in person to help you along the way as well. Again I'm sorry that just really stinks for you to have to pack all that around with you at this fragile time in your life. You will be in my prayers. I know I speak for all of us when I say there's much love here for you when you need it and we're all rooting for you. You can do it!
Helpful - 0
1652596 tn?1342011626
i couldn't have said it better.  our kids are our saving grace.  my's 22 and i thank god everyday for his positive energy.  he makes me laugh and that's what we all need.

belle
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dear Denigreg, Like a friend's child once said, the "dults never understand".  Hug your little one every chance you get and he will make you feel better.  Everyone in this community has had their bad days and good days.  We are all here to help you get through this tx and beat the virus.  
Best, jsf52
Helpful - 0
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