more results for my husband

[linda803]

Well we went to toronto liver transplant center,, My husband has type O blood,,The doctor there was saying we would know within 6 weeks if he qualifies to go on the list,,,The way the doctor spoke livers in ontario are very far and few between at least he was honest with us,,Plus my husband also had melinoma in the eye had the eye removed with no treatment over 10 years ago,,we were told that could be a problem for getting on the list.  .Anyway then we get back home and they had to drain the ascities for the firsr time because he can no longer take water pills they are affecting his kidneys,   ,He is booked to go back in on the 24th of march to be drained again ,,   but he has gained 6 lbs in 5 days,,he had his varisises banded in 6 places yesterday..Im just wondering is banding 6 times in one session normal,,   Plus he goes back in 6 weeks for to check on the banding,, My husband has lost so much weight all over just has the big belly,,the bruising is awfull,, Yesterday he said he didnt want to suffer or be a burden on me,,That is so hard to take,,I know what he is going through and this is the hardest thing we have ever been threw in our 38 years of marrige,, He has cried twice in 2 days and thats not normal for him he has always been tough,,I just worried hes giving up,,sorry I just had to say what im feeling ,,thanks for understanding  linda

[eureka254]

I hope most sincerely that in 6 weeks you will hear that your husband is eligible for transplant.  And Hector is so right -- facing a serious illness like ESLD is an emotional roller-coaster, and it's completely normal to have ups and downs -- indeed, it would be more concerning if your husband was not responding emotionally to what he's going through. Being a tough guy will help him a great deal in this fight, but being tough doesn't make it any easier or less painful -- maybe it just makes the emotionality of it all unfamiliar...

When my husband was first diagnosed, he also expressed feelings about being a "burden", and it's terribly frightening to think about him giving up -- and though he does still feel that way from time to time, I remind him that only he views it that way -- and to think what a burden it would be to NOT have him around...

My heart and prayers and best wishes to you and your husband, Linda. ~eureka

[linda803]

  Thanks again for all your support,,Will keep yous up to date,, thank you

[22hamilton]

Very well said Hector. My prayers are with you and your husband Linda.

[fretboard]

Whoa, that really hit my heart and my throat all at the same time.  I am so sorry for the pain both of you are going through and no matter where you are in all this you can surely find some comfort and understanding here on this forum.  God Bless

[linda803]

Thanks for you support,,your right hector,,Im ready for what ever comes,,Gary and I talk about everything ,,He started opening up after the we came back from toronto,,Because at that point he knew the truth ,,and I told him since we only have each other Im the one to talk too, He said he just didnt want to upset me,,,But now that he knows hes talking more and thats good,,,Live is a circle and we go through alot and have know choice but to acsept it,,,thanks again will keep everyone posted,,,   And thanks for your offer hector I know how to contact you..linda

[HectorSF]

Linda, I just wanted to say that crying is part of the process. Part of the ups and downs. I have my "melt downs" every so often and I am not suffering as much your husband is. It is better for a person's mental health to let it out then try to hold it in. As long as he doesn't get stuck in a depression he should be okay. If he should becomes numb emotionally, loses interest in life then I would seeks help with an anti-depressant.

"he didn't want to suffer or be a burden on me" let him know that together you will both get through this. When we are deeply challenged we can do things we never thought possible. If I think back on what I have been through already, if you asked me before I became seriously ill, if I could go through what I have been though, I would honestly have said "no way". Luckily, I was wrong. I know this might sound "corny" to some but suffering can make us appreciate all that we do have in our lives and make us stronger. "The glass is half full" if we want to think of it that way. The "facts" don't change, but how we look at it mentally can be changed. I used to think that the saying "suffering makes you stronger" was a brunch of bs. I was wrong again. Every challenge I have gotten through shows me that I can do just about anything I set my mind to. Every day we are alive is a good day. It beats the alternative that for sure. This is a valuable life lesson that there is no other way to learn. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but I am grateful to have learned it now rather then maybe never. Maybe I have a thicker head then most people, but ESLD is a pretty powerful "wakeup call".

This is a scary disease and is the toughest challenge most of us have ever had to face so there is no shame in feeling emotional and crying. If someone can't feel emotional about a potentially fatal disease, then I don't what they can feel strongly about. If he can cry then he can also laugh too.

Many of us develop a twisted sense of humor about this illness. Sometimes this disease and its symptoms gets so absurd and surreal that all you can do is laugh because there is no other appropriate response. I often think of this when a new symptom appears for the first time or when I think of my med to pee, my med to defecate, and my med to clear my brain so I know what friggin' day it is. I throw up my hands and say to myself "what is going to go next"???

Keep in mind if your husband wants to talk to someone "in the same boat" decompensated cirrhosis, waiting for a transplant, I am available at any time. You know how to reach me.

Hang in there. Your support for your husband is truly heroic and amazing!
Remember one day, one step at a time.

Best -
Hectorsf

[willbb]

  Linda:   I can"t offer any advice... , would just like to say,there is certainly no need to apologize for letting us know how you feel  and my prayers are also sent.

[nygirl7]

I'm so sorry Linda I dont know about varices and banding and stuff but there are unfortunately plenty of folks around here who have experienced what he is going through and I am sure they will post.

I just wanted to say you are a wonderful wife and I admire that greatly.  I wish I had some great words of wisdom but I can tell you to continue to come in here and post - the support and compassion you will receive is a blessing, it helped me more than words can tell you.

We'll be here to talk and sometimes that is what you need the most some friends who understand just how horrible liver disease really is.  

Debby

[Boobert]

I don't know what else to say besides I'm very sorry and my Prayers Sent.