Confused!

[ConfusedAboutResults2018]

Recently I’ve been dating a guy that gets cold sores. He told me that from the beginning and stated that he hasn’t had one in quite some time. He admitted having them since he was a child. Well, we had unprotected sex multiple times and I started using feminine products once I would leave his house to clean myself up and feel fresh. (This is all within two months or so of dating.) Well immediately after using them (Maybe four days later)  I ended up getting a really bad rash near my inner thigh and top upper pelvic area (nowhere near my vaginal opening and etc) that itched terribly with white odorless cottage cheese looking vaginal discharge. (Sorry!!) I freaked out and immediately went to an urgent clinic. The doctor concluded to it being BV and reassured me that the “rash” was a fungal infection like jock itch and the rash wasn’t herpes lesions. Deciding to be sure, I took a blood test to test for herpes to be sure. They used IGM. My results were negative for both hsv 1 and hsv 2 but in the comment box it stated “THE IFA PROCEDURE FOR MEASURING IGM ANTIBODIES TO HSV 1
AND HSV 2 DETECTS BOTH TYPE-COMMON AND TYPE-SPECIFIC
HSV ANTIBODIES. THUS, IGM REACTIVITY TO BOTH HSV 1 AND
HSV 2 MAY REPRESENT CROSS-REACTIVE HSV ANTIBODIES RATHER
THAN EXPOSURE TO BOTH HSV 1 AND HSV 2.” I went to a Care Spot so I immediately call up there’s asking what did the comment section exactly mean and I was told it was for them and I was negative and not to worry. My results paper doesn’t give any numbers or anything. It just says negative for “In Range” and negative for “Reference Range,” regarding hsv 1 and hsv 2. Can someone shed some light? Am I okay? My rash has since cleared with some prescription cream but I’m paranoid on what the comment meant. Thank you!

[auntiejessi]

The IgM is unreliable because it quite often misses positive results, and often gives false negatives. There is no way of knowing if yours is a false negative, but you can get an IgG test. This will not tell you if you have it orally or genitally, however. If you get any signs of a blister, you can get that cultured, or if you have any other symptoms, as for a PCR swab. It can detect virus without needing a blister.

So what are you so terrified of? Is it the virus itself and what it may do to your body? Is it the stigma of having to tell someone you have it if you and he don't work out? Are you generally afraid of germs and such, or is it just herpes (and maybe other stds)?

There aren't a lot of studies done on transmission for oral hsv1, so unfortunately, we don't have stats like we do for ghsv2. Oral hsv1 sheds about 9-18% of days (it varies from person to person), but transmission depends on how much of the virus is present, how much friction there is, etc.

Personally, I don't think herpes of any type is enough to leave a good relationship, nor is it a reason to stay in a bad one. With around half of the population having hsv1 already, chances are really good that the next guy you meet will have it, and most don't know they do, so they won't know when to avoid kissing or oral sex, or won't be on suppressive therapy. You are safer with him than you are someone who has it and doesn't know it.

Of course, if you already have it, none of this matters because he can't give you what you already have.

[ConfusedAboutResults2018]

Thank you so much for your reply. I’m more so afraid of it all. I’m afraid of the stigma and thinking what if he and I don’t work out and I catch it and then have to go on to meet others hoping to not be judged and etc if I have it. I’m also a very paranoid person and get tested very regularly. I just ended a very, very long term relationship and even with my ex I faithfully got tested. I’m a huge hypochondriac so this has been extremely hard for me. He’s so patient and sweet but I’m having a hard time with this. What’s baffling is he just went to get tested for everything and he sent me his results and everything was negative. Even his HSV1 results!! How is that possible? The paper said HSV 1 & 2 DNA PCR test negative. Even he was confused! I really want to talk to him about suppressive therapy. I really like him but this has really been hard when it comes to kissing and oral sex and just plain wanting to be intimate because I’m alwags hesitant because of asymptomatic shedding.

[auntiejessi]

The IgM is an unreliable test and shouldn't be done on adults, to start.

It sounds like what is typed is just an explanation of the test.

Your bf has type 1 herpes. This means that you are only at risk for getting type 1 from him. If he gives you oral and you get genital herpes from that, you have genital herpes type 1, or ghsv1. The number indicates the strain of the virus, not the location. You can have type 1 genitally, and type 2 orally, though ohsv2 is RARE.

You should ask your doctor for a type specific IgG blood test. That will tell you if you already have type 1. If you do, just avoid receiving oral sex when your bf has any oral symptoms, and you'll be fine.

Keep in mind that about half (or more) of the population has hsv1. You likely have kissed someone already who has it (either romantically or platoniclaly, like a family member). No one wants herpes of any type, but it's really common, and it sounds like you may be worried every time you have sex with him. He is ONLY infectious from his mouth, not his genitals, and cleaning after like you are won't do anything to prevent you from getting it. (I'm not sure if that's why you do the cleaning thing or not, but I wanted to mention it in case it is.)

The wipes you use are probably disturbing the delicate balance of good and bad bacteria in your vagina (it's quite common - I can't use them either), which is why you got BV and the fungal infection. If you need to clean after sex, just use a wet washcloth and a gentle soap, like Dove for sensitive skin or Ivory. A wet washcloth alone will do just fine, really.

[ConfusedAboutResults2018]

Thank you so much for your reply. Why is the IGM unreliable? Could I have a false negative? He and I have been seeing each other since the end of April. I got tested June 19th. He’s told me that nobody has ever told him that they’ve gotten hsv1 from him and he’s had it since a child. He says he hasn’t gotten one in quite awhile. He’s a nice guy but like you said nobody “wants” herpes. I’m terrified of getting it. I’ve read up on a symptomatic shedding. That’ has scared me. What’s the possibility of catching it without symptoms? He’s offered to get on medicine to reduce my risk of catching it.