Hi everyone.
About two weeks ago I noted what looked like an ingrown hair on my abdomen. This is nothing unusual; I'm very prone to them, as tend to be other members of my family. After a week the area was still swollen (again, not unusual. I'm very fair skinned--when I get acne it takes 3-4 weeks for a pimple to vanish, sometimes longer), but I noticed that another follicle next to it also looked infected. I put some Neosporin on the area, but within a few days the area hadn't gotten better, the redness had spread. I wasn't in any pain, nor did the rash itch or fester. The only thing worth noting was that there seemed to be whiteness around the affected hairs, like dry skin which peeled a bit.
With the infection seeming to spread, I had a mild panic attack and decided to go to urgent care (it was a Saturday). The Lab assistant examined me and thought that it might be MRSA, which is known to get worse when Neosporin is involved. I explained to her how the infection started, and that the swelling didn't really spread until I put ointment on it. I asked about STDs, and she did a routine blood test for Syphilis and HSV, just to be on the safe side, but told me that because I didn't have any other symptoms that a prescription ointment would clear it up. I started using the Mupriocin she prescribed, and the infection had drastically reduced within about 4 days. I did experience some skin peeling, but otherwise no pus, crusting or bleeding or any other kind of discharge. I also kept the area bandaged with gauze, which seemed to help.
Nobody from the Urgent Care clinic ever contacted me with my results, but I figured I should check in just to be sure. Whoever I spoke to--I'm not sure who, she never identified herself--told me I had genital herpes. My blood ran cold--I hadn't engaged in unprotected sex, I didn't have any symptoms beyond the swelling and dry skin, the ingrown hair didn't appear after intercourse, and (thankfully) my genitals were not affected. The woman didn't offer me any treatment, so I immediately called my doctor paid him a visit.
My doctor took a look at the rash and declared it folliculitus--infected hair follicles to the uninitiated--and noted that he had no reason to suspect anything else. I gave him a copy of the pathology report and lo and behold both the IgM and IgG tested positive for HSV 2, but in the low range of 2.4 on the IgG and 2.6 on the IgM (which, I gather, is a common occurrence around here). I didn't have any kind of detection for HSV 1, which my doctor also thought unusual. He was aware of the common false positives, particularly in the low range with the HerpeSelect tests, but thought the results were suspect anyway since A) there was no detection of HSV 1 which is virtually unheard of, B) I had no symptoms besides the rash, C) my genital region was not affected and D) the rash was visibly clearing with the antibiotic ointment.
At my insistence, my doctor is testing me using the Western Blot test for confirmation, so I should have results next week. That hasn't stopped me from panic though. I begged him for some Famciclovir for post-exposure prophylaxis to stop the infection from getting worse, if indeed I have one at all, but he would only give me Valtrex. I can't seem to find any information on the dosage I should be using, or the efficacy of Valtrex for post exposure. I'm taking 500mg twice daily, but I'm not sure that is enough. I pray the blot test is negative, and that this whole nightmare will end.
Worse, if my test DOES come back positive for HSV 2, I don't know what I'll do. My doctor acknowledged that the affected region of my body is not one that can be protected by condom use. In essence, there is nothing I can do to prevent the spread of the virus to anyone that comes in contact with my abdomen. Or, if somehow I have oral HSV 2, and the rash is just coincidental, there's nothing I can do to prevent the spread from kissing someone.
I believe it's my personal responsibility to prevent the spread of any contagion that infects my body, be it strep or something as sinister as HSV. The thought of never being able to kiss anyone again, or never being able to make love crushes me with sadness. I'm a very lonely guy as it is, and I've been trying to pursue a long-term meaningful relationship for years without success. If I am infected, the chances I could ever meet someone will plummet even further. After all, how do I explain to a potential lover that we can never kiss or have sex without the risk of passing on the infection? How can I respect someone who would accept disease as part of our relationship. Most important of all, how can I willingly pass on this infection to someone I love and want to protect?
I'm sure many of you have wrestled with the same questions, and understand the feeling of guilt and disgust that I feel. There is no way to prevent viral shedding or spread of HSV in my case. Even if I never have another outbreak, I'm risk for anyone to touch. How do I cope?