Confused with rare situation

[princessjrx369]

Im a bit confused, i received genital HSV1 through sex, which is rare enough.  My partner had contracted it from recieving oral sex with someone who must have had a cold sore whens he gave it to him.  Everything i have read says that contracting HSV1 through genital sex is extremely rare... yet somehow i still did.  We both got tested and were confirmed to have HSV1 so i was wondering.. is it ok for us to be participating in oral sex with eachother when we arent having outbreaks? I have read that your antibodies are stronger and so there for it is difficult to contract it in the other areas of your body but im not really trying to risk it.  Is this another really rare situation that could end up really happening to us again? Or is it ok to have oral sex while were not on outbreaks? What would be the chances of it spreading to our mouths? And if it did would it just show up as a cold sore? Please Help!

[gracefromHHP]

Even though I"m 106 ( or am I 107 now - lol ), I actually have been dating a terrific man for the last 9 1/2 months now :)  Ok so he's terrific this week because he's not in the dog house so it was a good time to ask....he he he   This one might actually be a keeper I think :)


and really - you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time ( or at least one of you were - I think we addressed this earlier in one of your posts where you were worried about being so contagious right? ).  It happens. Not a ton of shedding studies for hsv1 genitally out there but those that there are, are pretty consistant in their overall lack of shedding compared to hsv2 genitally.  

grace

[petal130]

What the heck! Do you think grace is some herpes spinster or something?? Jesus, us folks who have herpes do have partners/ spouses / normal lives (oh, and yes, sex too - shocking!)  - yes, grace included! As to herpes, it's nothing more than a pesky skin condition... It's not cancer, heart disease, AIDS or any other life threatening illness. Keep it in perspective...

[hopeful969]

3 months. His urethra swab was positive, no external symptoms,  the bugger didnt even have pain in urination which I cant understand!!!!! Meanwhile Im peeing razor blades. Do you think it can hide out and stay active in the warm moist enviro of the urethra for longer? Or maybe it was just the first shedding after the initial exposure.

Not that it matters now, but I just want people to know, it does happen.

Grace, you sound so sweet, have you been able to find someone special? (Im a  girl, not hitting on you by the way, just curious)

[gracefromHHP]

If your partner had recently contracted hsv1 genitally from oral sex from someone then he was more contagious at that point even though he hadn't had obvious symptoms yet. How long before you two had sex had he received oral sex from someone else?

grace

[treesnake]

I feel for you dear. Guess what, nobody knows for sure what the hell is going on. All anyone can go by is the stats. Not very comforting I know

[hopeful969]

Hey Grace, Yeah, we had NO oral to genital contact at all! So I know I recieved his genital HSV-1 from genital to genital contact. He had no symptoms ever. No cold sores. Igg tests for him were negative but he had a positive uretra swab. He had only had oral sex performed on him in between our encounters. I feel like all the stars aligned ....... and screwed me over. I've read all the numbers but in truth, I got this so easily from him so I feel like the stats are probably really off. As far as my health is concerned, HSV-1 is HIGHLY HIGHLY contagious from genital to genital contact. ANd now here I am, still crying everyday trying to figure this out. When I read Dr. H telling people its not likely I just want to scream!!!!  I dont htink thats a fair truth to be telling people. It makes them feel safe when they probably arent....

Sorry, I'm new and just having a really really hard time adn am highly meotional right now. But I do think they dont know the numbers for sure. Dr. H says he ahs never seen a case of genital to genital HSV-1 - Well, let me be his first to tell him, its the honest truth!

[gracefromHHP]

Actually many folks who have hsv1 genitally, also contracted it orally around the same time from what few studies we have that have looked at this.  Anywhere from 1/4 - 2/3's also have hsv1 depending on which study you look at.  Hsv1 orally sheds far more than hsv1 genitally does so unless you've been in a relationship where no oral sex has taken place at all, it's really hard to know if it was hsv1 transmission from genitals to genitals or oral to genital transmission.  One study found that less than 10% of genital hsv1 infections are from genitals to genitals. It might not shed much from the genital area but if it's shedding, there is a risk of transmission to your partner if they don't have hsv1 orally already.  sometimes you are in the wrong place at the wrong time whether you know it or not.

There are exceptions to the "rules" all the time but they aren't happening all the time to lots of people which is why we continue to repeat the general "rules" for type and location to give folks a place to start.

grace

[hopeful969]

THis is EXACTLY my situation. Im so frustrated by reading how "rare" it is to transmit HSV-1 from genital to genital contact. All it takes is one time. He recieved oral sex from another woman a few times while we were separated.  We were both tested prior and hadnt been with anyone in years. Not even a kiss. Now we both have HSV-1 genitally confirmed with swab. he had no symptoms whatsoever, only got checked because I broke out several days afer we had sex (no oral involved).

When I read the shedding days and percentages and all that - I think - what are the chances???? But it does happen! I think more frequently than most docs apparently think!!! Im devastate and just trying to cope. Havent had a day yet when I havent cried.

[gracefromHHP]

Actually hsv1 genital infections aren't even remotely rare. in fact in college age folks, it's the main cause of genital herpes - up to 70% of all newly acquired genital herpes infections in fact are due to hsv1!!!!

Yes indeed you and your partner can resume normal sexually activities as long as you don't have any genital symptoms. Your partner has significant protection against contracting hsv1 on other body parts but not 100% though typically just avoiding sex during obvious symptoms is all it takes.

grace