Help put my mind at ease

[Dbo880]

So I have been losing my mind for about 8 weeks now. I made a mistake and received unprotected oral sex and very brief protected intercourse with a sex worked (I had been drinking and I think already felt guilty so was basically useless). I think my main concern right now is that I carelessly may have used the same hand I used on her vagina to masturbate with prior to putting the condom on. From reading other posts I believe my risk is pretty small but I just can’t shake it. At almost a week I got what seems to be fordyce spots all over my penis. I freaked out and got an IGG test not understanding needing to wait. It came back positive for HSV 1 and negative for HSV-2. I freaked out some more, told my wife about the test, and went to see my doctor. My doctor reassured me nothing looked like herpes and that I had some form of exposure to hsv 1 in the past. Since then I have had a constant discomfort on my penis. Mostly an icy hot type feeling and some burning. This has led to Constant examination and what I fear to be further irritation leading to more anxiety but I can’t stop looking at it. Everything other than normal skin I begin to panic thinking it’s herpes. I have had what seems like loose skin just under the head of my penis that’s been seeming to be irritated but I’ve been reassured buy two different doctors online that these did not appear to be herpes either but more than likely enlarged glands. But I am at 8 weeks post exposure and still no obvious herpes blisters or lesions. I am just terrified I managed to get hsv 2 and I’m having some type of atypical or non-primary reaction, and that I will basically have told on myself with the first negative  test. And am now scared to test again in fear of a false positive. I honestly think and hope it is all guilt and anxiety but I’m losing my mind over it. I absolutely learned my lesson but fear it will be too late

[Dbo880]

Just looked back at my results. They were 5.54 for hsv 1 and .90 for 2.

[Dbo880]

I misread, hsv 2 was <.90

[auntiejessi]

So statistically, your hsv1 is an old oral infection that you could have gotten at any point in your life. Globally, 67% of people under 50 have it. In the US, it's 50%.

I understand your guilt and the anxiety it causes. However, there is no risk to touching her vagina then putting a condom with that hand.

You already had hsv1, so you had no risk for getting that from the unprotected oral.

You had protected intercourse, briefly, or something resembling it, and have had no sores or lesions. I would let this go. You're correct that the testing is dicey, and since you had such a brief and protected encounter, with no symptoms, I'd recommend not testing.

If you can't let it go, or think you need help with anxiety and/or alcohol, definitely see a therapist.

As far as herpes, I see no reason to worry. :)

[Dbo880]

Thanks for the quick reply. I’m still a little lost though. Just wanted to clarify, I believe I touched her vagina and then briefly masturbated with the same hand before putting the condom on. What are the odds I transferred something there? I have still had burning and pain, mostly under the head of my penis. I have a few bumps there but still nothing that screams herpes. I get irritation there from my penis rubbing against my underwear. I have just had a hard time believing that this irritation has been all in my head or from me checking too much. I just started some clotrimazole cream to try and rule out anything fungal. Any thoughts?

[auntiejessi]

There are no chances of it transmitting that way. If it did, everyone would have herpes.

I don't know what you have going on - have you had a doctor look at it? An icy hot feeling can be from anxiety, a UTI, an infection in your urethra, or maybe prostatitis.

You should really see your doctor.