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Herpes from scrotum and anus kissing

I recently made a colossal misjudgement that I’m regretting greatly. Last week i visited an expensive SW for a massage from a respected agency who proceeded to deep French kiss me and then performed oral with protection whilst also kissing and licking my scrotum and anus. She had no visible sores. It was a drunken one off and I’m now in a downward spiral of despair and guilt.

Immediately after the encounter I was incredibly nervous and anxious looking out for any sort of symptom of an STD as am happily married (to someone that clearly deserves better).

After 4 days I awoke in the morning with what looked like 2 small white spots next to each other on the inside of my lower lip approx 4mm at the longest point. They were totally painless and not particularly inflamed. If I hadn’t of been so anxious I would have passed it off with little thought. It’s also been unusually cold in UK this month and my lips were feeling that and I often nibble and lick my lips too. However I immediately became very concerned so contacted a private clinic in London. I had no other symptoms anywhere.

The nurse had a quick look and said pretty quickly it was a cold sore despite me thinking the white looked more fleshy than fluid. She checked my genitals and said there was no signs of anything but said to expect symptoms in a day or two. She prescribed a 5 day course of antiviral to help stop any spread.

I also had to pay for 2 bloods to check if I already had either herpes virus. Both came back as negative 2 days later.

The cold sore has totally disappeared 5 days later.

I’m deeply concerned and whilst I’ve been comforted by a lot of what I’ve read this week I’m still incredibly worried about giving anything to my wife and what those implications would have. So if you can please answer a few questions below it would be greatly appreciated.

Kind regards
An Anxious Idiot

1. If I’d had oral symptoms 4 days after the encounter should I have got genital symptoms by now? It’s now been 9 days. Or could it just be the antiviral meds stopping any genital symptoms showing?

2. The UK herpes advise charity says that on initial infection you get symptoms in each location you are infected but it will likely only recur in one of those locations. Is this generally agreed?

3. How likely could it be that I could have caught oral but not genital from the same source?

4. 2 days after the cold sore appearing I did have a couple of nights of feverish / light flu like symptoms. Stiff legs and night sweat but I have also been suffering from a bad cold / chesty cough for the last week too so not sure if that could have been to blame?
5. With regards to the blood test, I’ve read a lot that they are widely regarded as highly inaccurate. Is that the case?
6. I think this may be just wishful thinking from me but worth asking. Does the oral cold sore disappearing after 5 days seem too quick or is that not unheard of? At no point did it appear to be leaking puss or be an open sore, but maybe that’s because it was on the inside of my lip.
7. I’ve also read that the blood test are widely regarded as often very inaccurate. Is that the case? If so what other options are there please?

Any advice or info on the above to help with clarity and help with my insane anxiety will be greatly appreciated. Thanks

2 Responses
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207091 tn?1337709493
Two white spots don't sound like cold sores, but obviously I didn't see them. They could have been canker sores, not cold sores.

You took the blood test too soon to see if you got it from the encounter, and the hsv1 IgG misses 30% of infections. There's a great chance that you already have it, as 67% of people under 50 have it globally.

I understand that you feel guilty over this, but this sounds like a bunch of worry over what might be canker sores, not cold sores.

If you haven't had genital symptoms yet, I wouldn't worry. You had protected oral sex, which reduces your risk significantly.
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Thank you for getting back to me. That’s reassuring insight regarding the protection…

I guess I’m just still very worried that if it was a cold sore that just happened to heal very quick in 4/5 days then there is a good chance she could have given it to me with the rimming and licking of balls. Is that the case?

In your experience does receiving rimming for a few minutes pose a significant risk?

Thanks again
Yes, if you got it orally, there is a decent chance you'd get it genitally from rimming. Probably not so much with licking your testicles, as the skin is thicker on your scrotum and it's harder for the virus to penetrate that.

That you've had no symptoms genitally after 3.5 weeks or so, chances are good that this isn't hsv1, orally or genitally. Also, an initial outbreak of oral hsv1 probably wouldn't be so mild and heal so quickly.

You're going to worry, I know, but I'd be really surprised that if this is hsv1.
Thank you. I panicked and though I found a lesion after 2 weeks on my anus so paid for a swab. The doctor swabbed the area but said she didn’t think it looked like herpes but just a cut. The results came back negative which was a relief but out of interest if I did have it genitally do you think the swab would have picked up any shedding anyway?

Also if I do have it genitally, what are the chances of passing it on?
I really appreciate your advice and help. Thanks so much
Whether the swab is accurate depends on the timing of it. The sooner you had it tested, the more reliable it is.

Genital hsv1 is rarely transmitted in the absence of symptoms. I wouldn't worry if I were you. It's unlikely that you have it, and if you do, it's unlikely you'd ever transmit it.
Thank you. And one last question… if I did contract it both genitally and orally would it likely show symptoms in both areas rather than just one as I’ve currently had it?

The UK Herpes society states this:

Some people will catch it in two places on the same occasion. If you have caught it in more than one place, you will notice this during the first infection. It won’t cause symptoms in one place and not in the other. However, recurrences are usually on only one of the places you caught it, not on both at the same time.

Is this correct? Best
Yes, I agree with this, but there are reasons for it.

Genital hsv1 and oral hsv2 are not in their preferred sites. This means they are typically not active, regardless of whether or not you were co-infected orally and genitally at the same time.

The average frequency of ghsv1 outbreaks is less than 1 a year, and most people who get ohsv2 only get the initial outbreak and never get another one.

If you got hsv2 orally and genitally, because hsv2 prefers the genitals, you'd naturally see more outbreaks genitally, because hsv2 prefers the genitals. Make sense?
Yes - thank you. So essentially if I got hsv1 or hav2 both genitally and orally from the encounter then it would likely show at the first breakout in both locations but after that it would recur more orally if hsv1 and genitally recur more frequently if it was hav2.

So essentially the fact I’ve not had any genital symptoms after 3.5 weeks would hopefully mean that if i only contracted hsv1 orally and avoided genitally?
Yes, exactly. I'm not convinced that you got it orally. I think it could easily be canker sores that you had, which are absolutely unrelated to herpes.

I wouldn't worry about this at all if you are only basing it on those two white spots. They don't sound like cold sores at all.

The guilt you feel is something you'll have to address separately, but I think you can remove hsv1 from this worry. Take this as a lesson learned. :)
Thank you. My lesson is 100% learnt and I’m going to deal with the guilt if I can get the thought of herpes from my head.

I think it’s just a struggle as the nurse that examined me seemed so sure it was a cold sore on my inside lip and in my head I was fully diagnosed.

It was two small white marks on a slightly red swollen bump but totally painless and just appeared one morning and then was fully gone in 5 days. Here’s hoping it was just a canker or a bite mark from my sleep maybe. Thank you for your support and patience in all this. I’ve totally lost my head
I should add that I also had another similar sore but smaller and totally painless again appear in a different part of my inner lip a couple of days later too but that also disappeared in 4 days
If you get another sore, go to an urgent care or something and get it cultured asap. If you get a negative culture, maybe that will help you move beyond this.

The other thing is that this could be cold sores (I doubt that, really, though) and that you've had oral hsv1 for a long time, and the stress of all this is causing you to have outbreaks.

Have you looked up pics of canker sores? They are quite common, and also can be caused by stress.

Visual diagnoses of herpes are quite often wrong.

Hang in there, okay?
Thank you. I’m just so worried about giving it to my wife. And that mixed with the guilt is eating me up.
Just go look at canker sores, okay?

And don't hesitate to get therapy if you need to. It can help figure out how you got here, and how to get through it.
Thanks for all your help Aunt Jesse. Really appreciate it. I’m feeling a bit calmer about it now and just waiting a few more weeks to do the blood tests again. Fingers crossed.

I’m also slightly worried about HPV. Do you think this is a risk from my experience? I’ve read that it’s mainly spread by vaginal and anal intercourse but is also a risk orally. Thanks
HPV is transmitted orally, but you used a condom, which will significantly reduce your risk. HPV resides in the throat, so it is unlikely to transmit from licking and kissing.

The strains associated with oral HPV don't produce symptoms, so on the off chance you have it, you'll never know it. I wouldn't worry about this.

Hey Aunt Jessie… good news - did hsv1 IgG tests at 8 weeks (0.181) and 11 weeks (0.171) so appearing negative for both types. Do you think I need to test again to be sure?

However I’m also now worried I could be in the 30% of false negatives for hsv1 or should I move on and have intercourse again without fear of passing on?

You do not need to test again. If you are worried you are in the 30%, you can get a Western Blot test. It's expensive and your doctor may order it, so insurance will pay, or you'll have to self-pay.

Most experts think that once you falsely test negative for hsv1 on an IgG, you'll continue to, so don't bother with more IgGs.

You could have had hsv1 since you were a child and never had any symptoms, so if it comes back as positive for hsv1, it does not mean you have it genitally.

Blood tests can only tell you what you have, not where you have it.

You can get a WB through Terri Warren, a clinician with 35+ years of experience. https://westoverheights.com/getting-a-herpes-western-blot/

Honestly, though, really consider the money. Therapy might be a better investment at this point.
Thanks. I think I’m just going to try and move on. I’ve not had any genital symptoms and there’s a good chance I’m in the 70% where my test results were correct right?

I’m also back in Australia now so not sure there are Westen blots here?
Oh yeah, no, getting a WB in Australia is very hard.

I think moving on is absolutely reasonable, and yes, there is a 70% chance your results are correct. I'd move on in your situation, too.

Best of luck to you. :)
Thank you. Your patience and support is incredibly helpful and hugely appreciated.

The stigma, misinformation and lack of clarity from even doctors and medical experts on herpes has left me astounded. You’re a godsend
Aww thanks for the kind words. You're very welcome. :)
20620809 tn?1504362969
Well, you followed up with a clinic. They are really your best source of info. Oral herpes is not a big deal. 80 percent of the population. Children have it. You've had two negative blood tests. They don't lie if you took them in the proper time frame.
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