I have had an exposure

[learning379]

I am very upset.  I trusted a man and had sex.   It was safe in that we used a condom, but his penis did touch my skin (not around vagina that I can remember,but on leg and near breasts). We did not have oral sex.  I started to notice a pattern of lies soon after our encounter and after much questioning I learned almost 2 weeks later (today) that he is HSV 2 positive. I am so upset.  He is only the 3rd man I have ever slept with.  I was in a faithful marriage for years.

I am very fearful of contracting this.  I know that the condom stayed intact. I do not recall bumps but I cannot be sure.  I cannot even be sure when he says he was not having an outbreak because of his endless lies.  It did not appear so, but I wasn't really looking for sign like I should have been.  He says he has never had an outbreak, but that seems hard to fathom.

I read in the doctors forums that the risk was almost nil on a one time exposure, but I am still so scared and wish there was some way I could know.  I am watching my vaginal area for any signs.  I had a few pimples on my bottom but they never blistered and they went away in a couple days.  Please tell me the real risk based on this exposure and can HSV 2 be passed on other parts of skin other than vagina?  Also, what are the chances he had it shedding where the condom did not cover?

Thank you

[learning379]

Grace...

I got to speak with the partner today who lied so much to me.  It is still hard to believe him, but I asked him if he had checked for any lesions at all (following our time together once I had brought up this herpes concern) and he said he did and that he has never had any noticeable symptoms.  I knew something was wrong after our encounter when he kept saying "will you hate me if I gave you something?" It has been sooo awful, but I am feeling better.  I watched so closely, now on day 15 since incident and no real herpes signs even with Dr. looking.too.  I am really thinking at this point if I do not develop an outbreak that I am going to take Dr. Hook's advice and trust I did not contract a thing and not follow up with blood work.  This becomes obsessive.I am sure you can tell by reading all the posts from me.  You were telling me I am way on the side of likely to be fine, Em did too. Dr. Hook said chance was slim to nil. So did my dr. and there I was panicking. I am truly trying to stop panicking and move on.

Thanks for all you do

[gracefromHHP]

You are letting the IDEA of it all mess with you.  Try to relax and stop worrying so much :)

grace

[learning379]

Ok...both spots have gone down and only pink now only an hour later. I am sure I have no illness except mental... sheesh!  I am so sorry.  Nothing like this has ever happened to me and it has certainly sent me into a mental tailspin.  It is just ridiculous.

Please forgive me.

[learning379]

Grace, I am so trying not to continue to over react.  I want to get past this in the worst way. Here is a very different question. I have 2 bumps just above my belly button.  They are pretty much round and red.  They do not hurt. I cannot ever recall getting bumps around my belly button.  Is it at all possible that contact from his uncovered penis there could pass herpes? I have NEVER heard of such a thing, but I am also dumbfounded as to what these two fairly sizable bumps would be.

[learning379]

Thank you Grace.  I am sure I am over reacting. I went to my own doctor.  She is a gyn at a major city hospital.  She is wonderful.  She said it was just folliculitis and appeared to be from shaving maybe.  She would certainly know what to look for I would think? I hope. That was yesterday morning when I saw it, I felt burning when I went to the bathroom.  Today the bumps are way down (almost all gone) and I have some tiny scrape marks...so not sounding herpetic right? It looks like it is greatly improving on only day two.  Dr. in medical forum said that people do not know mostly because they don't watch and that is is generally easy to spot for people educated in what they are looking for it. My Dr. said the same. They both said in reality most people do have a primary outbreak.  My Dr. said it is like a water filled blister at onset. She and Dr. Hook have both expressed that with my exposure I really have nothing to worry about and I need to put it behind me and that further testing is even unnecessary.  This is what I am trying to do starting tonight. This has consumed me. I know its been so unhealthy.

Thank you, Grace, for all your responses. Would you agree with what they both said about resolving that I am fine and letting it go?  I want to move on. If I can bypass blood work as you suggested early on before I became a basket case that would be . Both Drs. said the same.

[gracefromHHP]

You were examined at the clinic right? I'm thinking your rash was from that or just something random.  Herpes will not pop up for a half a day and then be almost gone.

No, it's not always all that obvious. If it was, then 90% of those infected with hsv2 wouldn't not know it ( as confirmed by various studies ) .  That said, you are worrying way too much, examining your genital way too much and making more of this than you really need to.  

grace

[learning379]

Good morning Grace.  The rash is all but gone.  There are a few small bumps (no blistering at all). Pinkness is gone.  It looks like I have a few scrapes. It's more like I irritated it shaving and although I've never done that before it would seem more likely than the other scenario.  

My Dr. stressed that herpes is clear when examined.  The problem is many of the websites make it sound like it could be missed or look like a lot of other things. I know I was frantic when typing my questions.  I apologize....I go through these various emotions like it won't be a problem to omg he was positive and I was with him to over thinking symptoms then back to it's going to be fine again.

Now that I am calm and hopefully reasonable, can I now ask you a few questions from your knowledge in all of this?

Could anything herpes come up one day and then be improving by the next day?

Is it more likely than not that primary outbreaks do occur and an attentive person would notice and know that this is an outbreak?  (my Dr. said the vast majority have a primary outbreak and it is only missed because they don't look further into it.)

My Dr. said my chance is (as you and Emma both said) VERY VERY low...She said she was virtually sure I would not have contracted it by my description of the encounter. Would you concur with her?

Thank you so much for this forum.  You are so reasonable and helpful and I truly need the voice of reason right now.  I am so grateful.

[gracefromHHP]

if you are concerned about new symptoms that have occured a few hours after being seen by your doctor, return to your doctor to be seen again.  

grace

[learning379]

Ok...I am really nervous now because today I have a rash that is bumpy and pink and it burns and itches.  It is on the right side not directly on my vagina or anus but on the area in between.  I went to the Dr. and had her look at it earlier and she said it looks like folliculitis and not to worry that it is herpes, but then I searched web for pictures and it said some rashes can present mild and not blistered but pimple like.  Is this TRUE?  It has been 13 days since my exposure. Will blisters always develop and what is first symptom.  I soo regret my decision because this is just the most awful feeling and then a rash (which I've never had one there before).  PLEASE help me put this in perspective.

Thank you so much.

[learning379]

Dear Grace and/or Emma...

I saw my Dr. today and she expressed that is really isn't common for someone paying attention to NOT have a primary outbreak and since I am 13 days past with no true sign of a primary outbreak it is more than highly unlikely I contracted HSV 2 from this experience.  She suggested that testing was not a must and she would let it go in the absence of a primary outbreak.  I think this is what Emma and Grace (both of you) were suggesting to me, that as long as I can let go of the worry, that testing is not really needed and that it is almost completely certain that it will be negative on a one time protected exposure.  Do you feel in agreement with my Dr. on this?  I also posted in the medical forum just because all of this has been so new and scary to me.

THANK you for being here...truly.

[genuinelyworried]

Hi There,

I totally feel for you, I'm in a similar situation. I've had very few partners, and it's so scary to know that it just takes one.

However, like Grace said...the risk is really low.  It's important to be aware with what is going on with your body.  But if you obsess about it too much I totally believe that your brain can trick your body into experiencing symptoms that might not be there.

So it's important to try not to stress.  The odds are TOTALLY in your favor.  Don't take a test before 4 months, because you will probably just end up having to take it again.  

Be glad that you used a condom, and take it as a lesson learned.  It's so hard to trust people now days...which totally *****!  Good luck to you.

[learning379]

Grace...Thank you so much.  I am just so shaken by this. When he told me he was for sure positive for HSV 2 I cried.  My sex life has been limited to so few experiences overall.

Anyway, I just posted a question in STD forum and should have put it here for you or whomever can help, so I apologize for that.  The breast encounter, where he had his genital rubbing there (ugh so sorry for description) has me concerned because I read you can contract it on your breasts and he was being pretty aggressive there (and no condom there).  I have a pimple on my breast that was pretty big a couple days ago.  It is still there but seeming to be healing.  I never thought about that exposure being a risk until I read on the internet that herpes can show up there from exposure there. Is this really possible???

Also...If I am watching reasonable aware in the genital area...is it likely there would be an out break of some sort and i would notice it if I am cognicent?

Your responses were both encouraging.  I want to try and put all of this behind me, but I think I am still in shock and the information is still processing in my brain.

Thank you for your help...thank you sooooo much!

[gracefromHHP]

I recommend that you stop watching your genital area closely. You are only adding to your anxiety about it all from the sounds of things.

A one time protected encounter is very low risk.  If you really , really want peace of mind, wait 4 months and then get a type specific herpes igg blood test again but odds are way in your favor that you didn't contract it so it's up to you if you even feel it's worth the testing.

grace

[learning379]

Thank you so much for your response. I did have a full STD screen because of ending my marriage and wanting to be sure there was no chance my ex had cheated and spread something.  All of those were negative including an HSV 2 IgG.  That was 8 months after my marriage ended and so plenty of time for it to be accurate...

Is it more common for symptoms of herpes to appear than to not appear if I am paying very close attention? I have been trying to watch so closely.  

He has turned out to be incredibly dishonest and it has caused me awful emotional distress.  

Thank you for your input.  I am grateful.

[Emma_08]

Most likely you did not contract herpes from this one-time exposure, but you could always get a type specific, IgG blood test to find out your HSV-2 status.  However, a blood test could take up to four months to become positive.  If you do test positive for HSV-2, it does not necessarily mean that you got it from this exposure.  Many people are infected with herpes and remain without symptoms for many years, therefore do not know they are infected.  My advice would be to be on the lookout for any lesions or rash in the genital region and if you do not experience this within a few weeks, you are probably fine.  However, since not everybody that contracts herpes experiences symptoms right away, get a blood test in a few months - it will hopefully clear everything up.
Good luck,
Em