Confused

[Sweetcheeks12]

I know over the years I've gotten cold sores. Got tested and it came out positive for HSV1 (which I guess that's why I get the cold sores). I met someone a couple of months ago. We had protected sex and I gave him oral sex. A week ago I had just gotten over a sore.  A few days later he told me he was breaking out on his genital area, that this had never happened before. I was speechless because I was married for many years and my husband never developed that. So the guy went to doctor for STD tests, etc. and they took a swab and tested that area as well. He said they told him results were negative. They gave him medication and he got all better. So we figured it was just some kind of allergic reaction. 2 months later we met again and had sex & again I gave him oral sex. The next day I started getting a lip soar and he told me he was breaking out but I guess less than before. This confuses me because I never experienced this before during my 20 years of marriage and then I was in a steady relationship for 4 years and that partner never got this either. Until now that I have met this person. He gets it on his genital and I get a lip blister but he tested negative to hsv. I feel bad because I'm wondering does he get that from me or does he develope that bc he's had it from before because why didn't this happen to the other guys I was with for many years. Do I get a blister from giving him oral; or does he get genital outbreak from my hsv1. If I just have sex with him and not give him oral sex, do you know if he will still have a genital outbreak? I'm so confused and at one time I felt guilty b/c he asked if I had been sleeping w/somone else, which I have not so this is all new to me. We are both kind of consufed and are asking ourselves WTH? Please any response will be greatly appreciated.

[gracefromHHP]

no, he won't get recurrences every time he has sex with you.

make sure he schedules an appointment for more follow up !

[Sweetcheeks12]

He said this has never happened to him before but could he have contracted this before and never knew because it was dormant? I'm just perplexed about the whole thing. Thank you!

[Sweetcheeks12]

Thank you for your reply Grace! Just curious will this happen every time we have sex. We see each other once a month since we live far. We known for 3 months and it has happened. Since I have hsv1 what if we just have sex and not oral sex, would he still have an OB?

[gracefromHHP]

lesion cultures have a high rate of false negatives. At this point, he should also follow up with a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what his status is. He also needs to be seen every single time he has genital symptoms, within 48  hours of them starting. If they suspect herpes, they should be doing a lesion culture and typing on his symptoms again.

so how could you have been married and this never happened to your partner? Well if he also had hsv1, he wouldn't be likely to contract it genitally from oral sex. Odds are he was never tested .  also you could be with a partner for a lifetime and not transmit an oral herpes infection to their genital area - it's about as much about bad luck as it is anything.   it's also possible that this partner has hsv2 genitally and never realized it until he got an obvious recurrence and he just hasn't had proper testing yet.  of course it could be that he doesn't have genital herpes either which is why further evaluation for him is important.

follow up to get better answers for you both :)

grace