Winfee, very good post. Can I ask if you ever tested positive? How did they make the diagnosis?
I lived in NY by Ithaca in 93-95; I got very ill in 2002, much later than I was likely contracted lyme. It hides, and can evade the immune system. Accurate diagnosis, lyme, was not made for 3.5 years. It was in my central nervous system. My face and neck pain (feeling like wet cement stuffed in neck), and fatigue were my starters. There is no certain path of symptoms for the disease, making it hard to diagnosis. I had difficulty walking, talking, thinking, and sensory sensitivities by one year. Yes, I stuttered and speech became very labored. The dr.s who should know better wrote me off (probably they could not make diagnosis) and told me it was psychiatric problem.
Have done much reading, lyme conferences DVDs, and searching for dr.s who might know diagnosis. My lyme test was negative, so we dismissed that idea, for too long. Many years later have learned the tests are so inaccurate, may stay negative until adequate antibiotic treatment, and for some stay negative for ever.
It is a diagnosis that should be made based on clinically symptoms. Yes, all of my other testing was negative. My dr. specializes in chronic fatigue, and so attends conferences on such, which now include lyme, as symptoms overlap. Lyme is considered the next great imitator, as syphilis was the first. Because lyme can be so devastating, the earlier the antibiotic treatment starts the better.
Please google lyme sites if you haven't already. I don't remember exact addresses, but lymenet, lyme disease association, international lyme disease and associated diseases society (ilads) are good. Some have dr. referral for near your location. My personal opinion learned the hardest way, if cause of symptoms can not be identified, give antibiotics for a month and see what happens. If the person gets to feeling more ill (herkheimer reaction) you are probably on the right track.
Bottom line, you may need to go to a specialist (an open minded one at that) to get an appropriate diagnosis. At 4.5 years I traveled to NYC to Columbia Univ. Lyme Dis. Research Center, which confirmed the diagnosis. I live in Alaska (no ticks here) and another friend from here had similar experience; he finally got accurate diagnosis at John Hopkins Univ.
It is devastating illness if not treated adequately; symptoms can start years later and can evolve over months. Dr.s may be reluctant to treat a 3 year old with long term antibiotics (which is why you might need to find one open minded). My husband was against antibiotics for more than a month, but he also agreed with dr.s who said it was psychiatric. When he saw how rapidly I regressed when off antibiotics for a week after being on several months he finally realized I did have lyme disease in my brain. I was on oral antibiotics for a year with some improvement, but then the real lifesaver of 5 months of IV infusion Rociphen. I have been progressively improving over past 1.5 years since this stopped. Lyme releases neurotoxins. I do want you to know I am much improved :)), but I really suffered needlessly. This is a very grave disease - don't mess around waiting.
My son and family now live in Philly, and because of my experience they do not take possible exposure lightly. Please read websites. I hope you can find a cause, even if it turns out not to be lyme.
This might be a duplicate posting of comment, as I think my first did not go through.
Considering you live in an endemic state I would at the very least have a lyme test run on your child. A negative test however, does not rule it out. Less than 50% of people who have lyme remember the rash.
Not everyone will get the "bullsye" rash, some have nothing and some may just have a tiny dot. Lyme may not show symptoms immediately. According to my allergist Lyme may take some time before it will appear, kind of like a cold - you carry the germs around and after a while your nose begins to run etc.
Best Wishes~