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Do you have one person that controls money in your relationship?

I work with a man that is constantly talking of not having money because his wife manages their budget.  He is allowed to have $20.00 per week in cash, but has to account for each and every dollar spent.

It's Friday and normally, a lady in my office and I go grab a burger or something and visit - on Fridays.  It's usually no more than $5.00-$6.00.  He's new and we have invited him to lunch on a few occasions and as long as we paid - he would go.  He just told us that he has the money to go but his wife didn't TELL him he could use his $5.00 today.  I asked him if he didn't have a debit card and he said, Yes, but I am not allowed to use it.   He was actually counting change to see if he could get an order of fries when she and I went!

Granted he was out of work for a couple of months, but we just found out that (he told us) that he received 6 months salary when he was laid off.  This isn't someone making $6.50 an hour - I do the payroll and know what he makes and it's definitely not a nominal amount.  He has also mentioned that he doesn't have any large bills - 1 car payment - small house payment (under $700 a month) - his mother buys his family their clothes - his wife works....  nothing unusual (OH and NO credit cards)....why he shard that is beyond me....

I understand the need to save money,especially in today's economy, but he is always talking of savings, etc. and now he mentions that he isn't ALLOWED to spend money, as little as $5.00.  I have read all of the Dave Ramsey, and I get it....but even Dave Ramsey allows for SOME use of cash.  I just can't imagine being a 41 year old - professional person - who isn't allowed to spend $5.00!

Is that a normal (and as I told him - if it works, good for you), way to handle finances in a relationship?  My husband and I budget, but we have an amount that we are comfortable to spend without accounting to each other - at least for lunch once a week.  

What is your opinion?
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Avatar universal

My opinion (based off everything your co-worker has told you) is that he is in an abusive relationship. Many abusive men have done the same thing as a means of trying to control their spouse or girlfriend.
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