Hi Torn, Im not suffering with the same issue as you....Im suffering from Peyronie's Disease and I just wanted to share with you that I can understand how you are feeling. I have just submitted a post that I hope others will read and comment on also, but I feel like lesser of a man and unattractive due to the shape of my penis, which is what I think you are feeling too?
That said, suicide or thoughts of it are not the way forward as there is so much beauty in the world and so much to experience!! Please please, speak to someone, someone who cares for you and will listen, offer an ear to bend or shoulder to cry on because thats what I feel I need at the minute and Im not as lucky to have the love of your live coming over to see you.
Would love to talk given the opportunity and share feelings, no matter how soppy or feminine it sounds....we need it!!
L. from Leicester
Has a doctor or dermatologist seen it? Have you seen a counselor or therapist to overcome the trauma of the abuse? Both things seem important.
Please understand that a bunch of cracks in a penis is not a relationship-ender if the woman loves you. Women are not enamored of men's penises and I have never met a woman who loves a man because she thinks the man's penis is beautiful. Women love men because they think their heart is beautiful, and because the man is funny, caring, kind, interested in their doings, and supportive. If you can muster those things, you will not lose her over your skin damage on your penis. (Unless, of course, *you* cannot get over the skin damage on your penis enough to trust the love in the relationship.) Because of that it seems like seeing both a dermatologist and a therapist as soon as you can, will make all the difference.
Your goal is to get yourself back to being the person you were before the abuse. If you end it all because of the scars of the abuse, it's like you will complete what the abuser tried to do to you. I would never give an abuser that power. The best "eff you" to an abuser is to go on and live a happy life, not letting the abuse get the best of you. A therapist is the best person to talk to about that.