If you ask a person when “middle age” begins, the answer, not surprisingly, depends on the age of that respondent. American college-aged students are convinced that one fits soundly into the middle-age category at 35. Respondents who are actually 35, however, would beg to differ with these youngsters. Rather, for them, middle age is still half a decade away, with 40 representing the inaugural year. Such disagreement over when this term applies—perhaps it’s simply whenever one starts using expressions such as “youngsters” and “young people”—may be an entirely American affair, however. Recently, a large sample of Swiss participants spanning several generations agreed with one another that middle-aged people are those who are between 35 to 53 years of age.
I can only imagine your struggle with all that is going on in your life. You seem as if you are being pulled from all sides. I am not a doctor, but have suffered from anxiety and depression all my life and what you describe fits these two criteria perfectly. The two conditions very often coexist. You have so many symptoms of depression, especially losing interest in things you once loved and crying without a reason. Also,the tiredness, and loss of appetite are very common in depression. Isolating is the worst thing to do, but I also know that it is very hard indeed to go out and be with people who are often happier than you.
I generally suggest all kinds of self help things for depression and anxiety, and although I think they are invaluable in the long run, I would think you would be better off getting some more immediate relief by taking an anti-depressant and possibly an anti-anxiety medication as soon as possible, to give you some relief.
Also, I would recommend some form of therapy so that you can talk to somebody who understands and will be able to help you. Don't leave it too long and let the situation deteriorate or it will be harder to work on.
Hi you mention feelings of irritability and a lack of self confidence and I’m wondering if these are longer term issues which could be causing your depression and anxiety. Suppressing anger can cause constant tiredness too. It also sounds like you have too many demands on you so no wonder you’re feeling like you’re buckling under. If things get any worse I would seek either a good psychologist or if you are interested in self help then look for books which deal with your issues Also there are alternative therapies. I hope you’re feeling better soon
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Sounds like you should go see a Doctor, your health is worth the money.
Sounds like a body thing I've experienced many times (and still find hard to believe it's my body, and not the world around me gone bad).
There's a concept of "Body Budgeting", where the body is constantly regulating itself, determining how much energy it has, and how much it needs.
The body thinks it's low on energy, it causes the person to slow down by making the mind feel depressed. It affects one's perception of the world around us. Makes one feel like lying in bed all day (saving energy).
The body's budgeting can go wrong. Poor diet may cause it to think it's low on energy when it's not. Lack of exercise may also contribute to that.
Sometimes the body has a problem that a lab test can detect. Low thyroid can cause body budgeting to be off and a person becomes depressed. This can be detected with a blood test, and corrected with thyroid medication.
Other times it's a problem which no lab test can detect, but we have learned there are certain medications that have helped others in the past, so we suggest, "Try this medication, tell me if it helps." If it doesn't help, we say, "OK try this different medication." We may have to try several medications before finding one that helps.
One may not feel much like socializing when one is depressed, (especially if one is an introvert and socializing is an energy draining activity, and the body believes it is low on energy).
Finding a medication that works can help with that. And/or exercise (when I get depressed, I tell my support friend to take me on a walk), and/or diet. (I'm just mindful of what I eat and ask myself it I think it's healthy or not.)
We also unconsciously help each other regulate our body budgets by socializing. Some connection is made, I don't fully understand it, but I feel better when I have other people around. I need my socializing. I enjoy support groups. There may be a local support group for depression, or anything related.
I've found practicing Mindfulness techniques helpful. There's an app called 'Headspace' for this, which gives 10 minute mind training. First 10 are free. There's a great short video explaining the concepts at the beginning of the odd numbered guided meditations for the first 10. (Don't really need more than the first 10. Just play them over again.) "Return focus to the present moment and just observe. When your mind wanders, return focus to the present moment." (Doing this for 2 months can actually strengthen parts of the brain. The improvements can be seen on a MRI. It can also help to over time slowly reduce feelings of stress.)
Stress, not enjoying one's job, stormy relationships, stuff like that, can throw off one's body budgeting and lead to depression. (Stress is a big energy user. Can trick the body into thinking it needs to conserve energy, so body makes the person depressed, as a way to conserve energy it thinks it's low on.)
It's good that you are self-aware of this depression thing. A regular doctor may be a good place to start. They can check for things a lab test can test for. They can also prescribe any medication. They may decide to refer you to someone else, a specialist, after they've had a go at it.
Being surrounded by children may help if you enjoy that. That may count as socializing.
Feeling overworked definitely bad in the long run. I use the metaphor of 'balance' to help me determine how much is a proper amount of workload I can handle. Too little and I get bored. Too much and I get stressed. In the middle is a 'just right' amount for me.
Best wishes hope that helps! (Maybe someone else can also provide some ideas.)
Sorry you have been going through a difficult time! I can understand how your life is going great on one hand but on the other, has some areas you maybe could change or improve. Your personal life is halted it sounds like. Due to stress and being tired from the professional life. That has happened to me and I felt like it was a 'rut' if you will. Making goals to change that may help you?
But overall, you describe someone who has anxiety and depression both. You very well may be suffering one or both of these mental health issues.
I have to ask how old you are. If you are a woman and years are going by for you . . . could you be starting a phase of early menopause? Could you be having thyroid issues? When is the last time you had a good physical with blood work? It's time if it has been any length of time.
I'm of an age where I'm not yet in menopause in a clinical sense but am approaching it. I have great anxiety due to hormonal fluctuations. It is a bit cyclic for me but for my older sister, it's consistent and doesn't stop. She doesn't have 'normal days' like I do and always feels on the edge. So, perhaps that is playing a role as well.
So tell me your age and if you've ever seen a counselor or anything for some of the emotional issues that trouble you.