Could the doctor have made a mistake?

[xMrsHyslopx]

Hi all i really hope you lot can help me cos ive tried to talk to my friends and family and they just keep telling me to forget it there is nothing that can be done now. Basically this is what happened... I had a scan on 3rd march and was told I had a missed misscarriage - they didnt really explain anything just told me I could either wait till everything happened itself or go for d&c but they advised d&c cos of the state I was in so i agreed and few hours later I was at home grieving with my husband. Ive spent the last few months struggling to make it through everyday and so turned to the internet for help and found this site but some of your storys made me think....The docs had me at 8.5 weeks but cos my husband and I knew 100% when we conceived I knew i was 6.5 so is it possible they either thought the baby was too small for 8.5 weeks or couldnt see hearbeat and just assumed i had misscarried?? Please be honest with me am I just clutching at straws or is this a possibility??

[IZA09]

I was told that I had a miscarriage and still can't believe it. Is their any possible way that the doctor was wrong? I need to know how is it possible to have one successful pregnancy and lose my second child.

[prego_22]

I'm 22 years old and this is my 3rd pregnancy...they said I will miscarry but I have not yet I'm 8 weeks they did an ultrasound and said they saw no fetal development but the sack was still there...could they be mistaking a miscarriage I chose to follow through with a natural miscarriage rather then a d&c but nothing's happened yet should I get a second thought they didn't even check for a fetal heartbeat just blood and ultrasound plz help me I'm scared

[DMarie919]

I got fair medical treatment but as for help emotionally, it was not there.  That is why I had to find other resources like this to help me through it.  I am still amazed of everyone here having similar stories about their doctors. I was not impressed at all and in fact I have since switched doctors.  Have you found a new doctor?  It is important to have someone you can trust and feel comfortable talking about your concerns, otherwise that will stress you out even more!  I hope you have a nice, easy pregnancy!!  Keep in touch.. :)

[xMrsHyslopx]

Thank you for your reply! I am trying to find some way of dealing with this cos i know its no good to be this stressed out while pregnant but Im just so worried im put in the same situation again and the treatment i recieved from the medical staff and midwives at my local hospital was appauling so i dont trust them atall and cant even discuss my concerns x

[DMarie919]

Oh honey...I have also had these thoughts go through my mind ALL the time since my m/c in February.  I also had a missed m/c and ended up having a d&c and I always feel like I made such a mistake but that I just "trusted" since they said with one ulrasound that there was no heartbeat that that was it!  I just have to trust that they knew what they were doing and would never give a diagnosis like that of a miscarriage if they weren't sure.  You do hear freak stories of how things ended up differently for some women, but that is usually in cases where the pregnancies are earlier on.  Mine happened about 7-8 weeks as well and so at that point it should be clear whether or not the baby has a hearbeat...
Please do not try to beat yourself up about it!!  I have been there, and done that...and as painful as it is, we have to try to accept what has happened and look ahead.  You have a beautiful new pregnancy to look forward to.....for that, I am sure you feel very blessed.  It will not replace or take away all the hurt you have of your miscarriage yet in time I'm sure you will find peace and acceptance.  Feel free to talk to me anytime :)  

[usuk]

so, so sorry about this. in my experience when there is any hope or any doubt about how far along you are vs. what they see on the screen, the doc will give it a week since there is really no risk in waiting to miscarry on your own for a week or two. i felt in my heart about 6 weeks that i might miscarry. but because other "parts" were visible he gave it a week for the pregnancy to sort itself out. at 6.5 weeks there are things that your doc was looking for and did not see. which in my mind means although you had a d&c you did not end the baby's life. remember docs want to win this fight too!!! try and at least limit how much time in the day you devote to "what ifs".this way you can slowly process all of this and not go mental. i hope that helps and after 3 miscarriages i am here for you.

[xMrsHyslopx]

Thank u for taking the time to try help me! Reason I am thinking like this is docs only dated me at 8.5 weeks cos of date of last period and i knew i was at the most 6.5 as my husband and I were only having sex on ovulating days. Does this make sense? x

[tinkerbell101]

Hi I am so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you have been through so much and am glad you have taken the brave step to come here for support.

I am afraid I don't have the answers you are looking for, although having experienced a missed miscarriage myself I would say ultrasounds are usually very reliable and if they dated you at 8.5 wks then I would tend to believe that. Unless you had IUI/IVF it is almost impossible to know the exact date of conception.

Our cycles can be complicated and ovualtion can take any time from a few days after our period finished to many weeks afterwards... even if you are watching your cycle carefully and monitor with OPK's it can still take as longer than 48 hours for the egg to be released and longer than a week for it to implant. Its not always as simple as you think.

One thing I would say is I know how hard it is to let go but really believe you must stop torturing yourself with this and put what has happened behind you and look forward. Sadly what has happened cannot be undone but feel pretty sure that the hospital would of been certain that they had your best interests at heart and only perform a D&C if they are certain that the pregnancy was not viable. Not only do they look for a heartbeat they look at the size and shape of the sac and examine it very carefully - they also measure the size of the uterus which gives them an indication of how many weeks you were.

I hope you have a nice support circle around you who can help you to move on from this - it might be worth speaking to your doctor and expressing your anxieties to them. Good luck