First Pregnancy at 39 yo ending in missed miscarriage.

[Cheyenne1]

My husband and I were in shock that we got pregnant the very first try since I am 39 (I turn 40 in a month) and he is 37.  This was going to be both of our first.  I had spotting and cramping at the very beginning thought to be implantation.  My doc checked my hormone levels and my progesterone was really high, but my HcG was only increasing 60% at 48 hrs and doubling every 72 hrs instead of every 48 hrs.  There was reason for concern from the start.  However, we went in for our first appointment at 6 weeks and saw a heartbeat, but the sac was measuring just a tad bit small.  My doctor has been concerned about this pregnancy from the start due to my hormone levels.  Well, we went in at 7W3D only to find out the baby had died in the last couple of days.  As most of you have eperienced, my husband and I were devastasted.  It has definitely been one of the worst weekends of my life.  Unfortunately, my doc wasn't in that day, so we saw another doc who gave me my options, wait 2 weeks to see if I pass on my own or have a D and C.  I go back tomorrow (Tuesday) to see my doc.  I don't really have any signs yet of passing on my own.  Only very mild cramping on and off, but no spotting or bleeding.  To add insult to injury, we don't have maternity insurance, only medical and complications from pregnancy.  My doc would have to code the D and C as "medically necessary" for my insurance company to even consider covering it.  Ugh!!!  It is torture still carrying the baby that should have been in my arms in Jan. 2013, won't.  I really tried to blame myself because I smoked and drank very early on because I didn't know I was pregnant.  I quit drinking right away and weened off smoking after a week.  I have since painted, worked out more, etc.  I feel like I caused the loss of this baby.  I am really trying not to blame myself as I am Advanced Maternal Age and my first known pregnancy and the miscarriage rate is higher anyway.  My real question is has anyone had a similar situtaion around my age to get pregnant again and carry a healthy child.  I go back and forth at the moment if I would even try again for fear of the same out come.  Also, did you pass the baby on your own or have a D and C?  Please give me advice from you experiences.  Thank you much!

[Cheyenne1]

Thank you so much for your kind words and support.  I really hope you are getting through this hard time too:)  It really ***** we have to go through this.  I do believe it is our body detecting something is wrong.  It just makes me think twice about ever trying again, especially at my age.  I would hate to go through this twice or more.  I passed everything naturally yesterday.  The ultrasound showed I passed everything and no longer needed surgery.  This has been really good news.  Good luck to you, Ginger, in your future endevours:)  Once again, thanks.  Take care.

[Cheyenne1]

Thanks ladies.  I am so sorry for your losses.  It is so tough.  I met with my doc today.  She assured me that is was a chromosome abnormality as indicated on my first ultrsound showing a smaller sac.  She said that is a sign of chromosomal abnormaility if at the second ultrasound the sac didn't catch up.  She is almost positive it was chromosomal.  This was the fate at conception.  There is absolutely nothing I did or could have done to change the outcome.  Now, my husband and I are trying to decide what to do.  The surgery will cost roughly $3200.  My doctor said she is fine with whatever I decide to do.  I am still testing positive, so my hormones haven't fallen too low yet.  I could not pass everything for awhile.  It is horrible waiting, but the surgery itself and cost doesn't sound too appealing either.  Ugh!!!!

[Ginger077]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I'm 37 and lost our first baby with a mc at an early stage in pregnancy in May 2012. We had been trying for 10yrs and this was our 2nd round of IVF. I was told on the 14 th I would loose it and on the 22nd I passed what I was told was our baby. I was told that it happen naturally getting rid of everything  it was better then a d & c. I don't think I could of made myself go in for surgery. If your body won't get rid of it on its own then the solution is a d&c.  if you had a choice you have to do what your heart says you can deal with at this tough time. I'm here if you need to talk just send me a message or pm me. Good luck with whatever difficult decision you make. Sorry you are going thru this:(
Ginger

[avaortega407]

well im 24 and i have had 3 miscarriages one being eptopic and that one being my 1st i was told id never have kids unless i went through alot of treatment...2 years later i found out i was pregnant with my now 6 yr old daughter. But 1 month befor getting pregnant i heard an old wives tail of drinking lots of goats milk and going to a ciropractor to get my hip bones aligned and i did so and it worked! After my daughter was 6  months old i found out i was pregnant again but lost it after 6 weeks and after 5 days of bleeding it passed though i never noticed it and i checked for it the only thing i remeber was one very small what looked to be blood clot..then another miscarriage when she was 4 and soon after i got pregnant with my now healthy 1 old baby boy. My point is dont give up research all things you can do and if i would have givin up i wouldnt have my kids that i love to death! i know its hard and sad but when you are ready you should really try again but take prenatals every day starting now to get yor body health and ready to carry a baby. go jogging make sure in good shape.

[rach301]

So sorry about ur loss.

I had a missed miscarriage too, and had 2 options either take the tablets, or have the D&C. However when the professor gave his opinion, he advised that I should have the D&C.

Sometimes you have no choice D&C, because some of the tissue does not pass.

I am really scared too, but there is nothing we can do :-)

Please try and be strong and keep urself busy :-)

Rach