Spouses need to cope too

[danielleacor]

Hello Ladies
I'm having some trouble coping with my m/c. I have a perfectly healthy 2 year old, and our family would have been near perfect with a 2nd child. Although it wasnt a planned pregnancy, we were so thrilled. And now everything is falling apart. I want another so badly, that i'll do anything. I thought my husband would want that too, but he's so scared this will happen again, that he wants to wait awhile. My dr. told us to wait 2 regular cycles, but since my periods were never really normal im worried that will take a long time to get regulated again, and after reading some of your polls i know getting pregnant before your first period can give you a normal healthy pregnancy. But like i said my husband said no, and seems like we argue over it. I dont want to argue. and i certainly dont want to push him. He has to be ready too. But what can i do to help him? How has your spouses handled this?

[leighanne143]

i am so sorry for your loss.  i think the both of you need to sit down and talk a out exactly when you should start trying. to be honest with you, getting pregnant right away, before your first period and not always a good thing.  sometimes it does not give your body or mind healing time and you need to re-build a strong uterine lining to hold a healthy pregnancy.  i got pregnant rigth away after my fist MC and ended up with another one.  then we waited 3 healthy cycles and we are now 14 weeks along and all is good so far.  waiting can be hard but it gives you time to grow and heal.  focus on your family right now and you 2 will decide when the right time is.

[tarrah87]

i am sorry about your loss but when i lost twins at 21 wks, my fiance did not want to try again either until recently bc of being scared as well. i tried and tried to talk to you but it did no good, he did not even want to talk about them, that day or anything. he has come around since them but not much. it's been since march when this happened and guys def have a differant way approaching things then we do. it's very hard, and hard for both of you but good luck in your decision. wish i could help more.

[mommytobeagain]

Hi, first of all i am so sorry about your lose. i am going threw the same thing as you. except in my relationship its flipped. my husband is ready and i'm scared. we lost ours 2 months ago and my doctor told me to wait 2 cycles before trying again. i also have one child at home he's one. so i think we are pretty much on the same page as everything. my husband talks to me about to lose all the time. you just have to remeber how upset you are and how he is. maybe try to sit down and talk about trying to have another child with him. tell him that you dont want to fight you just want to talk. tell him how you are feeling and then let him tell you. me and my husband did this and i have been going back and forth about trying. i have come to realize that for me i want another baby and i'm ready and so is he but by talking about it and me crying my eyes out over the lose. i came to realize that it would be wonderful to start trying again. yes we have waited for the 2 cycles, and i'm irregular also with the cycles. but, i have only one more cycle to go before we start trying.  my husband took it like yours did. he cried and got angry and everything inbetween. but as time goes by it seems to get easier.  i wish you the best of luck. and you will make the right choice.
Best wishes to you, your husband, and your child!