so sad :(

[peaches1991]

this isnt a question just need to let these feelings out, i dont really have anyone to talk to this about, my fiance is always here for me and listens i just dont think he understands.. ive had two miscarriages, one on october 18th at 8 weeks and one on january the 9th at 10weeks.. both times i had to go trough it alone, my fiance was not in the country because of his job.. he came back on the day the first time and the last time he couldnt get a flight untill the next day, the first miscarriage i had i only found out i was pregnant 4 days before it happened, i started bleeding and went to the hospital in severe pain.. they were horrible to me up there and made me wait for 5 hours in a waiting room with other pregnant women, and with people with newborns, even had to hold a 5day old baby while i was miscarrying :( i saw a doctor earlier that day and she mentioned nothing about miscarriage.. i finally got called in for a scan, i asked the nurse to wait before doing the internal scan because i was having contraction like pains every now and then but she didnt! she had to look inside before she did the scan i didnt know why, she didnt explain, but then she wiped with clasps and i nearly died when i saw.. then she said "half its gone" i literally got up and ran out of the hospital crying.. this is how i found out i was losing my baby :( nobody should ever find out like that ever.. i was completely depressed for wekks, didnt even get out of bed, untill i found out 3 weeks later that i was pregnant again, when i was 5 weeks my fiancee had to leave again, i was so upset and scared it would happen again and he wouldnt be there again. i really taught this pregnancy would work out, saw a heartbeat a 6weeks and everything.. at 10 weeks i had a brownish discharge, called my fiance he said i'd be fine and it was normal, i went to the hospital because i was so scared, they said it was normal as long as it didnt get heavier and there was no cramps.. the next day there was red blood, i was calling the hospital all day and they said as long as it doesnt get heavier than a period to just sit tight, so i did, untill about 11.30pm i started gettin unbelieveable contraction like pains and passed my baby.. called my fiancee he got the next flight he could back.. the hospital had to take the remains but they said it would only take 5 to6 weeks untill i'd get them back, i wanted a burrial.. i went to get tests a to see why i miscarried and on the 25th of april i got the results, nothing showed up, and the nurse told me there was no remains!! my hearts actually breaking :( something that meant so much to me means nothing to them :( im so depressed.. i lye in bed all day, dont want to do anything.. just want my baby :( haven't gotten pregnant since.. my fiance isnt leaving me anymore, but i just want my baby :(

[summero87]

I'm so sorry for your losses ..I had a missed miscarriage at 15 weeks ..I can relate on your pain ..it gets better with a little time and please don't give up hope of having a healthy child one day it'll happen when you least expect it ...hope I helped a little ..

[jleelynn]

so sorry to hear about your losses sweet heart but time does help ... here if you need to talk as im in the same boat :( xxx

[zorah1991]

You can deal with it by having a lot of faith. In January this year, I also lost my 1st child. I was 9 weeks. I suffured server cramping and bleeding, they had to give me codiene for the pain. At first I would look up and blame God, one night o stayed up from 8 pm till 5am crying my eyes out. I never cried like that ever in my life. My husband held me in his arms and stayed up with me all night. I would for some reason cry every Sunday night. Bit then I had to realize that God took my baby for a reason. My progesteron was low, and my baby was going to be sick and deformed. So I had a lot of Faith and just prayed and thanked God that he didn't make me go through that. He will never put you through anything you can't handle. I had my baby at home so I hurried mine and kept it. I stilll had to have my d&c because my placenta was still inside. They asked me what I did with my baby and I told them I flushed it. Because I knew they would take it. To the Drs if your baby is still early they don't consider the baby a life. I know its sad. But keep praying and everythimgs going to be fine. That's all I could do and now I'm 11 weeks and 5 days with a healthy baby and high progesteron.

[SiBerry]

Sue their *****! All of them. It will give you at least a little bit of release for your rage, an outlet for your pain, a way to some tiny bit vindicate your sweet, innocent tiny love, and even if you don't win it will be on record and you should go to the press to make it public. At the very least, you can help other women from going through the bell they put you through. They need to be outed. How dare they treat you with such insensitivity. Make them an example to other medical communities that they will not get away with treating women so poorly. These days patients are just insurance payments or liabilities, and it needs to stop.

About hope, my mother was the only woman out of 7 (spread amongst 2 generations) to be able to get pregnant in 60 years, all others suffering hysterectomies & infertility, then after struggling I finally gave my sisters hope that someday they could too. My friend had to keep having miscarriages to meet the insurance companies guidelines of 5 to be considered medically unable to conceive & deserving of medical attention. That has to stop. But, a miracle happened, she is almost in the safety zone with a healthy baby! She even got a thumbs up from the baby on the last ultrasound. She is understandably cautious, as was I until I heard her healthy cry, but despite the pain, I know the joy of that beautiful baby will make it all disappear. She made it to six months once, lost 5 sweet babies, and wanted to give up too. My baby saved my life, because I have a systemic illness and was ready to stop fighting. Then after no periods for half a year, I went to the RE unable to eat for weeks, and there she was. 10 yrs in the making. My darkest hour became the best moment of my life. You deserve to be happy, and you will someday. You are so lucky to have a man who is supporting you and understanding by just being there. I know that you will be great parents someday.

[serene13]

Hey Hun I am so sorry for your losses I have been through similar situations. I had my first miscarriage at 8 weeks but it was missed so I needed surgery and then another missed at 15 weeks...I am now pregnant agian and it's not looking good, but It was a suprise this time and I didnt have the chance to gt myself tested for any issues. I have a 6 hr old daughter and I had not one problem with that pregnancy....it's crazy how things work...if you truly think about how delicate conception and embryo growth is youd be surprised that people don't miscarry even more...I know how you feel, to be honest anything my husband says to me I feel like he does not completely understand and to be honest no one does...no matter how small the baby was it will always will be your baby...you form a bond that no one can grasp but you during pregnancy...I am telling you that women are strong creatures and I do believe that you should get yourself tested for a bunch of things since this your second time. I know they're is a clotting disorder that can cause miscarriages, low progesterone...and even some abnormalities....I am telling you that things happen for a reason...my baby had nothing wrong with it according to genetics, and I desperately wanted to see my baby, but I couldn't....because the testing is really important for future pregnancies...i always remind myself when I feel down that even though I physically couldn't meet or say goodbye to my baby I will always have that spiritual and emotional bond that I had with him or her while I was pregnant forever...just want you to know Hun that you are not in any sense alone even though you might feel like you are alone in your own body right now...like I do often, and even now since I might miscarry again....if you need someone to talk to I'm here to vent to I know how much it means to have someone just listen....your in my thoughts and prayers.  

[peaches1991]

thankyou for your comments.. helps to know im not the only one dealing with losing my babies.. just found out i have pcos and it could be a low progesterone problem, getting tests now so hopefully my doctors going to give me something for that when the results get back, im so sorry for all your losses, i know we'll all have healthy babies someday just ***** right now :(