Very overwhelmed, 3 month hasn't been long enough

[MMiles27]

Hi everyone. I had my miscarriage just before Christmas. I was 16 weeks along and I found out at a regular ultrasound that I had lost my baby. My sister was 6 weeks further along in her pregnancy when I lost my baby. I've been to 2 showers for her, and that was hard, but I got through it. I talk to my sister about her pregnancy. And everything is fine between us. She's due any day now. Saturday night was a false alarm but when we thought she was in labor, I was going to go pick up my aunt and my mom, my sisters bag from her house and bring them to the hospital. The same hospital I had my baby 3 months ago. The same hospital I LEFT my baby 3 months ago. I don't want to sit in that hospital while my sister is in labor. As soon as she has my niece, I will be the first one at her hospital room. But I just can't sit there, waiting and thinking. Well, when my aunt and mom found out I wouldn't be staying, waiting. I woke up to an email from my aunt saying that both my mom and her have been through miscarriages before, and that my sister is my best friend so I should push my pain aside and put on a smile and be there for her. That hurt me so much. I have been doing this, the last 3 months. And my sister knows, if she needs anything, I'm right there. But I can't spend what could possibly be hours sitting at the place I left my child not long ago. My aunt and mom both think I need "help" because I can't do this one thing. But I think I'm coping with everything to the best of my abilities. I have a 2 year old at home that I need to be strong for. I think being at the hospital will push me over the edge. So my question is, should 3 months be enough time to be able to do this? I thought I was doing well, seems like its not well enough. I'm just really, really hurt by all of this. Thanks for reading, Melanie

[jessy_fernan]

Hi there!
I want to say sorry for your loss, i also lost my first baby boy @ 15 weeks on feb 2012. I do understand your feeling and i do agree with gemgem1234 no one can force you to do anything you dont want. My best friend had her baby march 18 and it was very hard to go and see her with her lil baby boy...Its hard what we going thru but the time will pass..we wont ever forget our lil babies but time will heal our hearts.

And like you said, u have a lil 2 yr old that u need to b strong for. Me i do have 3 precious daughters that i had to b strong for also and they knew what happend and sometimes my lil one shes 4 ask me when the angel will bring my baby back to me... Its very hard but life continues and only God knows what he have planned for us.

Take care
Jessy

[gemgem1234]

If you dont feel ready to do that u shudnt let anyone pressure u or make u feel bad about it i lost my baby in dec not quite far along i was 8 weeks i was in over xmas n new years not long after i found out my sis was preg she understands that im not ready to talk about it bt shes knows im happy for her also my best friend just had a baby 2 days ago and i forced myself to go to the hospital before i was ready i felt like i had to be there for her and.the baby but been in that hospital seein the baby and all the other mums with there babys was too much for me had a breakdown as soon as i walked out made me realise that now im never gunna get that x