I have absolutely no idea what to do, about anything.

[wishforchange]

Remebered in school reading "The Trial", by Kafka I think.  Suddenly this is my world.  Along with now having the concept of MS raised where it was never raised before, and no-one working with me.  No person can live this.  Any one fight on its own would be unworkable, but all of them?  Isn't it time this dam condition just took me permanently out of the picture?  Lost, completely, no idea how to react, or even how to live.  The meeting to clear my name was pure Kafkaesc hell.  Like talking to the most institutionalized beurocrat in the universe.  And seemingly the most powerful.
All I have is my pills.  They stop - so do I.  Sorry, can't move into MS limboland, have enough problems living where I am.  Well, I pushed for the MRI reading, got what I wanted.  Now what?  Like a dog barking at the grass, it grows regardless.
You're not going to get sense out of me for a long time, if ever again.  My brain and me have parted company, another futile relationship.

[humming4u]

hey,maybe round two is up, the bell has rung,sending you back to your corner.your a little tired, confused now, who won that last one? your hanging on to the ropes, feeling a great need to just sit down, sit down on top of it all, and smash it!
wish, your down, and not even all the way, your not out. your to good, my bets on you. you rest,rebuild for awhile.its okay to say you don't want to finish this round, but to think you;ll never want to get back in the ring.....no way!
you are a fighter with a whole lot of backing,no matter what you say,I will continue to beleive in this "wish" person, who writes , and encourages like no other here!
will be waiting for your next visit here, God Bless,humming4u

[ShadowsSister]

OK Lady, That's enough, you are much stronger than This. I know because you were there for me when I was at what I thought was the end of my rope... You & I both know I was wrong, just like you are wrong.
You aren't alone, we are all here for you. I know this is a very rough patch you are going through.. We all have them from time to time.
Mary Kay is so right.. You Can't allow yourself to give up on you... No matter how many black clouds are hanging around, they will dissipate and things will slowing start to get better...
Do something special for yourself today, some times, we have to hug ourselves by doing some thing that will make us smile if only for a minute or two.
please keep in touch with us... I am so sorry I have been out of touch, the fatigue is rather bad right now, but never too bad for me not to be here for you...
Sending you Hugs & prayers...((((~!~))))

[mary_kay]

Kathy's right!  It's like our attitude about the terrorists...if we stay home and hide - they win!  They have succeeded in their plan which is to make us afraid.  Hang in there.  
We love you,
Mary Kay

[Fluffysmom]

Knock it off!  That was a figurative slap in the face.  

Honey, you are too smart and tough to let this take you down.  You've survived this long, battling demons, and you will find a way to make it though this chapter.

You're not alone, you've got a whole bundle of people right by your side, you just can't see us.  We can't stand up with you and face the Big Machine that runs your government, but we can help you keep from letting them win by taking away who you are.  Remember who you are.  

Limboland isn't hell, unless you let it be. It can be tough, but you were born to be a fighter.  You fight these defeatest thoughts or I'm coming over there to give you a good talking to, maybe even a literal slap on the face.

You didn't get what you wanted out of pushing for the MRI, you got your neurologist's impression of what your MRI said; what he decided you should hear, not the radiologist's report.  You can find yourself a new neurologist (I know its not easy, but life is rarely easy or fair!), and you have the neurosurgeon and so on still willing to help you out.

You can yell, cry, bark at the moon if you want, but do not despair, don't ever give up.

Period.

Big Hug,

Kathy