Aa
When is this going to stop?
I felt good (I use the term loosely) Friday and by Saturday I began to go downhill again. Every time I feel good, maybe even this rollercoaster will settle down for a little while and I feel I might even be able to make it, I feel bad again. Symptoms will even feel "better" in some way. I'm less imbalanced, clearer head, I feel like I want to move instinctively and feel like body wants to be normal. But by late afternoon and when I woke up this morning, I feel like I'm getting worse again. I'm so afraid more is happening to me subtly. Now my eyes are scraring me. Off and on blurriness.
Is this the way this goes? Isn't there a leveling off at some point?
Is this the way this goes? Isn't there a leveling off at some point?
Hopefully your physician and/or pharmacist explained that antidepressants don't work immediately. Some can take weeks before being fully effective. You need to stick to a regimen and not give up too soon thinking they aren't helping. Drugs like Xanax and Ativan can help in the short term if you're having intolerable anxiety. Exercise, if you're able, can to wonders to minimize stress and anxiety.
The trick with fear and you are doing it is to go on a do things you are afraid of. Most everything in humans boils down to fear. I am afraid of heights. I had a job which had me climbing up ladders on commercial buildings. I acted as if I was fine and I was.
This disease is unpredictable. Adaptability and acceptance is the key. I was scared of dying until I read some mindful meditation of a monk name Thicht Nhat Hahn. A man came to him and said I have six months to live. Thicht said if you live every moment minfdfully, not projecting in the future or regretting the past 6 months is a really long time. At that time I only had months, that was three years ago. Life is unpredictable. My cancer is in my spleen, liver, lymph system, and blood and I am still here.
I have had MS for 50 years, since I was two. I am still walking on my own steam. Slower but still going. I was put in the slow class and institutionalized in a state hospital because they did not know I had MS. My parents did not understand and demanded I be normal with double vision, tremors, vertigo, and cognitive problems. I could not read until I was in my twenties. I am not bitter. I have learned to be happy.
Alex
This disease is unpredictable. Adaptability and acceptance is the key. I was scared of dying until I read some mindful meditation of a monk name Thicht Nhat Hahn. A man came to him and said I have six months to live. Thicht said if you live every moment minfdfully, not projecting in the future or regretting the past 6 months is a really long time. At that time I only had months, that was three years ago. Life is unpredictable. My cancer is in my spleen, liver, lymph system, and blood and I am still here.
I have had MS for 50 years, since I was two. I am still walking on my own steam. Slower but still going. I was put in the slow class and institutionalized in a state hospital because they did not know I had MS. My parents did not understand and demanded I be normal with double vision, tremors, vertigo, and cognitive problems. I could not read until I was in my twenties. I am not bitter. I have learned to be happy.
Alex
The therapist mentioned CBT exercises. It's fear driving my thought process. But the fear is real. I have a lot riding on me not being disabled. I just want to get on medication so this thing can slow down. I'm praying medication works and I don't have a reaction to it or bad side effects.
Three words: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
It changed my life. I'm still very much a work in progress, but this aims to change your thought processes. It's resetting the bone where counselling can be more of a band-aid. You may have to try many approaches in combination, be they therapeutic, pharmaceutical, occupational, meditative, etc. I throw everything but the kitchen sink at my mental well-being.
It changed my life. I'm still very much a work in progress, but this aims to change your thought processes. It's resetting the bone where counselling can be more of a band-aid. You may have to try many approaches in combination, be they therapeutic, pharmaceutical, occupational, meditative, etc. I throw everything but the kitchen sink at my mental well-being.
Forgot to add; exercise and having a plan to do something to fight back, rather than just assuming the worst is going to happen, has been great for my MH. I feel some small bit of control ... Priceless. It gets old starting from the beginning again -- my bad mental health days are generally a few days at the beginning of each episode. I give myself that.
Not dipping in to mental health (and take with a grain of salt since as you know I'm in limbo): with respect to improvement after a relapse.
Some of my stuff has eventually resolved on its own without my help (I.e. Double vision). However, one of my ongoing things has been right side weakness in my arm or leg, and this has also worked for balance issues (aquatherapy).
During a flare, physiotherapy is useless. I can't do the exercises, can't move, etc. mine resolve slowly and at some point I'm left with weakness but no more flare. The first time around I was terrified this was it. I decided to try pt anyway.
Now, each time, I start trying some exercises starting at about 4 weeks in (I've had motor issues last from 4-6 weeks). I check every four or five days -- when the exercises move from impossible to "this is gosh darn impossible" but I can move, it's time for me to dig in.
This worked for a couple of years ... I'm still off pool exercise again (and, as usual, worried that this is it --- but not quite as much). I have started walking out of desperation -- so not ideal with my gait, but the more I sit, the less I recover. I just really need to get back to the pool.
Have to tell you ... It feels ridiculous to give advice given my limbo status, but I've worked very closely with a physiotherapist since the beginning, which I highly recommend!
Some of my stuff has eventually resolved on its own without my help (I.e. Double vision). However, one of my ongoing things has been right side weakness in my arm or leg, and this has also worked for balance issues (aquatherapy).
During a flare, physiotherapy is useless. I can't do the exercises, can't move, etc. mine resolve slowly and at some point I'm left with weakness but no more flare. The first time around I was terrified this was it. I decided to try pt anyway.
Now, each time, I start trying some exercises starting at about 4 weeks in (I've had motor issues last from 4-6 weeks). I check every four or five days -- when the exercises move from impossible to "this is gosh darn impossible" but I can move, it's time for me to dig in.
This worked for a couple of years ... I'm still off pool exercise again (and, as usual, worried that this is it --- but not quite as much). I have started walking out of desperation -- so not ideal with my gait, but the more I sit, the less I recover. I just really need to get back to the pool.
Have to tell you ... It feels ridiculous to give advice given my limbo status, but I've worked very closely with a physiotherapist since the beginning, which I highly recommend!
COMMUNITY LEADER
You have come up with many misguided interpretations about MS and Mental Health .......if this "I have always been emotional and high energy, drama, reactive person" is accurate, it's highly 'possible' your already established thought pattern, is directing you towards dramatic interpretations and leading your inaccurate fuzzy logic now...
There are millions and millions of people all over the world who have some type of Mental Health issue.......it's not uncommon for highly strung individuals to have an underlying psychological disorder and experience mood swings, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, OCD etc during stressful periods, they don't all have MS.
I have no idea how you've come up with your life long emotional responses being the causation of your MS, but there is no basis of fact to support any theory that a persons life time psychological health or personality, has any relevance to causation of a neurological condition like MS what's so ever!
On the logic flip side, IF you have 'always' been emotional and high energy, drama, reactive person, MS would be your least likely explanation if psychologically you've always been this way inclined! Your inadvertently making the assumption that your psychological health caused you to develop MS and at the same time have the belief that your MS is the direct cause of your long standing psychological health, which is contradicting fuzzy logic....
It's truly fantastic that you've seen a Councillor, it's more reasonable to expect it's going to take a lot of time and cognitive behavioural therapy, before you'll have the ability to shut down your internal dialogue of dramatic fearful projections and anxiety. I promise in time you'll see the point, so give your self time to understand and reap the benefits of doing the treatment, don't give up on it yet.
The first step in getting some control over an anxious mindset, is to start challenging any fearful, dramatic, and anxious thoughts before they settle into the loop, which ultimately clouds logic and directs more anxious behaviours.
It's generally advisable to 'avoid' engaging in any anxiety feeding behaviours eg reading information directed by and supports the fearful predictions and anxious thought loop, avoid getting into negative inner dialogue or negative conversations with others etc.
The point is to continually redirect your mind from focusing on the negatives, it may seem ridiculous to be advised to not think of worse outcomes but your anxious mindset is what's directing these thoughts, and everything you fear can't possibly come true. Living in the moment and or focusing on the the here and now, actually helps to keep you in your actual reality and doesn't give your fears free roaming and anxious thoughts the attention it seeks.
You need to keep in mind that your anxiety is likely what's gotten you focused on a dire prediction, and your thoughts that your MS is progressing, MS is not mild etc etc may not actually be your reality but the reflection of your growing fears....keep open minded and breath!
HUGS..........JJ
There are millions and millions of people all over the world who have some type of Mental Health issue.......it's not uncommon for highly strung individuals to have an underlying psychological disorder and experience mood swings, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, OCD etc during stressful periods, they don't all have MS.
I have no idea how you've come up with your life long emotional responses being the causation of your MS, but there is no basis of fact to support any theory that a persons life time psychological health or personality, has any relevance to causation of a neurological condition like MS what's so ever!
On the logic flip side, IF you have 'always' been emotional and high energy, drama, reactive person, MS would be your least likely explanation if psychologically you've always been this way inclined! Your inadvertently making the assumption that your psychological health caused you to develop MS and at the same time have the belief that your MS is the direct cause of your long standing psychological health, which is contradicting fuzzy logic....
It's truly fantastic that you've seen a Councillor, it's more reasonable to expect it's going to take a lot of time and cognitive behavioural therapy, before you'll have the ability to shut down your internal dialogue of dramatic fearful projections and anxiety. I promise in time you'll see the point, so give your self time to understand and reap the benefits of doing the treatment, don't give up on it yet.
The first step in getting some control over an anxious mindset, is to start challenging any fearful, dramatic, and anxious thoughts before they settle into the loop, which ultimately clouds logic and directs more anxious behaviours.
It's generally advisable to 'avoid' engaging in any anxiety feeding behaviours eg reading information directed by and supports the fearful predictions and anxious thought loop, avoid getting into negative inner dialogue or negative conversations with others etc.
The point is to continually redirect your mind from focusing on the negatives, it may seem ridiculous to be advised to not think of worse outcomes but your anxious mindset is what's directing these thoughts, and everything you fear can't possibly come true. Living in the moment and or focusing on the the here and now, actually helps to keep you in your actual reality and doesn't give your fears free roaming and anxious thoughts the attention it seeks.
You need to keep in mind that your anxiety is likely what's gotten you focused on a dire prediction, and your thoughts that your MS is progressing, MS is not mild etc etc may not actually be your reality but the reflection of your growing fears....keep open minded and breath!
HUGS..........JJ
Yeah... I saw a nice family practitioner today along with two different councilors. She gave me the go ahead to take celexa. Councilling just listens to me rant and cry. Don't see the point. They do make suggestions to live in the day. Don't think of the worse outcome, etc.
Sigh... I just wish I knew things will get better. Its not like, tomorrow's another day. Tomorrow is a day if I wake up the same, I'm lucky. I want to get over this way of thinking.
Sigh... I just wish I knew things will get better. Its not like, tomorrow's another day. Tomorrow is a day if I wake up the same, I'm lucky. I want to get over this way of thinking.
It simply in not true that anti depressants do not work if depression is from MS damage.I have had MS and depression all my life and anti depressants work on me. Try not to but road blocks up before you find out what you need.
Alex
Alex
"I have no problem taking an anti depressant but I read with depression that is caused by the disease itself, medication doesn't work."
Untrue. Depression is one of the more treatable symptoms of MS.
Untrue. Depression is one of the more treatable symptoms of MS.
"I can't cry and let my emotions out because that can trigger an attack."
An anxiety attack? Maybe. An MS attack? No, it absolutely will not.
An anxiety attack? Maybe. An MS attack? No, it absolutely will not.
another thing... I have always been emotional and high energy, drama, reactive person. I wonder how much damage I caused my self over the years. my damage was done in silence. I need to get this under control. how much more damage am I doing to myself that will manifest later on?
I'm going to a counselor in a little while. I have all these fears. Like the fear of taking benzo drugs to calm me, and they do but I fear I'll be addicted. I take the lowest dose once or twice a week, one time at night. I still wake up around 2,3,4 am and have trouble going back to sleep cuz of worrying and waking up, realizing, oh, I have MS, and its not mild either. I want to know how to deal with this.
I have no problem taking an anti depressant but I read with depression that is caused by the disease itself, medication doesn't work. it's all of these things swirling in my mind and it is making me crazy.
A question I do have, depression caused by a side effect of DMD, does anti depressants work on that?
This disease is just wrong. I'm trying to deal with it but I'm not in my right mind to deal with it and im not in my right mind because of this disease.
and another thing, I can't cry and let my emotions out because that can trigger an attack.
I have no problem taking an anti depressant but I read with depression that is caused by the disease itself, medication doesn't work. it's all of these things swirling in my mind and it is making me crazy.
A question I do have, depression caused by a side effect of DMD, does anti depressants work on that?
This disease is just wrong. I'm trying to deal with it but I'm not in my right mind to deal with it and im not in my right mind because of this disease.
and another thing, I can't cry and let my emotions out because that can trigger an attack.
For me it was anger. After being dx'd I started getting angry at everyone and everything. The whole world was p*ssing me off :-) I spent a year talking with a therapist and figured out that what I was really mad at was MS.
Anxiety, or other "mental" issues are not listed in the MS Book as symptoms. I'm thinking maybe they should be :-)
Kyle
Anxiety, or other "mental" issues are not listed in the MS Book as symptoms. I'm thinking maybe they should be :-)
Kyle
There was this 14 year old boy on the news last night. He lost his arm to a shark attack. He is a musician. He said "This is not going to define my life. They have better and better equipment for me to use". He talked about being left handed and now he will have to be right handed.
Alex
COMMUNITY LEADER
The links i chose do go into more detail than what i quoted, a couple of pod castes worth watching too but most of the MS societies these days, bring up your point though it's not as clearly explained as it probably needs to be.....
The MS Trust is UK but it's a very very good MS source and M/H is likely the same issue any where in the world.
""The mind is what the brain does" - Prof. Steven Pinker: How the mind works.
MS is primarily a disease of the brain. As this is where mental functions are controlled, it isn't surprising that changes in mental status are common in people with MS (PWMS).
However, mental disorders in MS are frequently overlooked for a number of reasons:
*Changes in mental state are considered to be solely a 'reaction' to having a chronic illness
*Many mental health services have retracted so they only treat 'functional' mental illnesses
*The relatively few neurologists in the UK often restrict themselves to diagnostic issues and managing physical symptoms
*Understanding symptoms of mental disorder is a complex process, often touching on personal and family issues. It can be easier to stick to the physical and practical aspects of care.
The burden of responsibility for mental illness in MS usually falls on relatives, carers and MS specialist nurses, who don't always feel adequately skilled to advise. This burden is heavy and may contribute to reduced quality of life in MS.
Practitioners need a number of skills to manage mental disorder in MS, including knowing how MS affects the brain, understanding the effects of prescribed and non-prescribed drugs on mental function and being able to recognise major mental disorders, such as depression, psychosis and cognitive impairment. Additional skills include understanding psychodynamic theory and "family systems" theory."
http://www.mstrust.org.uk/professionals/information/wayahead/articles/07012003_02.jsp
I think your absolutely right but i'm not sure working out if anxiety is an MS primary or secondary, makes much of difference when your in the grip of it, though i do think primary could directly effect treatment and probably needs a lot more on going attention and personal understanding.
Cheers.........JJ
The MS Trust is UK but it's a very very good MS source and M/H is likely the same issue any where in the world.
""The mind is what the brain does" - Prof. Steven Pinker: How the mind works.
MS is primarily a disease of the brain. As this is where mental functions are controlled, it isn't surprising that changes in mental status are common in people with MS (PWMS).
However, mental disorders in MS are frequently overlooked for a number of reasons:
*Changes in mental state are considered to be solely a 'reaction' to having a chronic illness
*Many mental health services have retracted so they only treat 'functional' mental illnesses
*The relatively few neurologists in the UK often restrict themselves to diagnostic issues and managing physical symptoms
*Understanding symptoms of mental disorder is a complex process, often touching on personal and family issues. It can be easier to stick to the physical and practical aspects of care.
The burden of responsibility for mental illness in MS usually falls on relatives, carers and MS specialist nurses, who don't always feel adequately skilled to advise. This burden is heavy and may contribute to reduced quality of life in MS.
Practitioners need a number of skills to manage mental disorder in MS, including knowing how MS affects the brain, understanding the effects of prescribed and non-prescribed drugs on mental function and being able to recognise major mental disorders, such as depression, psychosis and cognitive impairment. Additional skills include understanding psychodynamic theory and "family systems" theory."
http://www.mstrust.org.uk/professionals/information/wayahead/articles/07012003_02.jsp
I think your absolutely right but i'm not sure working out if anxiety is an MS primary or secondary, makes much of difference when your in the grip of it, though i do think primary could directly effect treatment and probably needs a lot more on going attention and personal understanding.
Cheers.........JJ
For years I've wondered about depression, etc. in MS from the brain chemistry point of view. So here I'm not talking about situational depression, depression from fatigue, lack of sleep and so on, but depression caused by demyelination in the nerve center of the brain that controls mood, and thus a change in the chemicals produced. That this exists is a given--no one disputes it. It is also a given that there can be emotional lability due to the pseudobulbar affect, so that inappropriate laughter, for instance, is caused not by a defect in the thinking process, but by misfiring demyelinated nerves. In these cases we don't have to look at the particular circumstances of a person's life to understand mood causation, but at a much simpler answer--defects in the physical functioning of the brain structure.
I have to confess I haven't looked very hard, but your quotation regarding anxiety is the first I've seen in the context of MS. I've always thought that if depression is tied to MS in the ways that it is generally agreed to be, then why not other mood manifestations? After all, as I understand it, the brain does contain a mood center consisting of nerves capable of being demyelinated. Surely nerves and chemicals producing other moods have this ability as well.
Unfortunately, the statement about anxiety frames it only as an understandable result of MS, and not as a possible manifestation of the disease. If depression can be an MS symptom, and lability can as well, then why not anxiety?
ess
I have to confess I haven't looked very hard, but your quotation regarding anxiety is the first I've seen in the context of MS. I've always thought that if depression is tied to MS in the ways that it is generally agreed to be, then why not other mood manifestations? After all, as I understand it, the brain does contain a mood center consisting of nerves capable of being demyelinated. Surely nerves and chemicals producing other moods have this ability as well.
Unfortunately, the statement about anxiety frames it only as an understandable result of MS, and not as a possible manifestation of the disease. If depression can be an MS symptom, and lability can as well, then why not anxiety?
ess
COMMUNITY LEADER
Mental Health issues like mood swings, depression, anxiety etc, actually most commonly occur after a person experiences a serious medical situation and or after a person is diagnosed with a chronic medical condition..........you are not alone in the way you are feeling right now!
INFORMATION:
"the 2014 ACTRIMS-ECTRIMS Meeting that more people with MS have an anxiety disorder than have depression. A study of 7786 adults with MS showed that 54.1% had “excessive symptoms of anxiety,” while 46.9% had “excessive symptoms of depression."
http://www.msconnection.org/Blog/September-2014/Anxiety-and-MS
"Generalized anxiety and distress
MS is a generally disabling, progressive, and unpredictable disease that can cause significant anxiety, distress, anger, and frustration from the moment of its very first symptoms. The tremendous uncertainty associated with MS is one of its most distressing aspects. People with MS never know when and if another exacerbation will occur or how severely they may be affected in the future. They do not even know how they will feel from morning to afternoon or one day to the next. The loss of functions and altered life circumstances caused by the disease are also significant causes of anxiety and distress.
Professional counseling and support groups can be very helpful in dealing with the anxiety and distress that may accompany MS."
http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Symptoms-Diagnosis/MS-Symptoms/Emotional-Changes
"“Depression” is a term commonly applied to a wide variety of emotional states in MS. These may range from feeling down for a few hours on a given day to severe clinical depression that may last for several months. People with MS and all those closely associated with them should be aware that depression in its various forms is common during the course of multiple sclerosis.
In fact, studies have suggested that clinical depression, the severest form of depression, is more frequent among people with MS than it is in the general population or in persons with other chronic, disabling conditions. Depression does not indicate weak character and it should not be considered something shameful that needs to be hidden. Depression is not something that a person can control or prevent by willpower or determination. In its most severe forms, depression appears to be a chemical imbalance that may occur at any time, even when life is going well."
http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Symptoms-Diagnosis/MS-Symptoms/Depression
Truth..........situational depression and anxiety is a legitimate and understandable 'mental health issue' for anyone just diagnosed with MS!
Your 'current' mental health situation by your own words, truly shouldn't be over looked in the big picture of YOU, the well being of your self and your family will be better off in the long haul, if you recognise the state of your mental health 'before' you reach your crisis point and fall further into the black hole.
Make the choice to be proactive about the way you feel 'right now', be brave and speak to your doctor about getting some help to cope with being dx with MS, and to learn any of the emotional tools your currently needing....
Hugs..........JJ
INFORMATION:
"the 2014 ACTRIMS-ECTRIMS Meeting that more people with MS have an anxiety disorder than have depression. A study of 7786 adults with MS showed that 54.1% had “excessive symptoms of anxiety,” while 46.9% had “excessive symptoms of depression."
http://www.msconnection.org/Blog/September-2014/Anxiety-and-MS
"Generalized anxiety and distress
MS is a generally disabling, progressive, and unpredictable disease that can cause significant anxiety, distress, anger, and frustration from the moment of its very first symptoms. The tremendous uncertainty associated with MS is one of its most distressing aspects. People with MS never know when and if another exacerbation will occur or how severely they may be affected in the future. They do not even know how they will feel from morning to afternoon or one day to the next. The loss of functions and altered life circumstances caused by the disease are also significant causes of anxiety and distress.
Professional counseling and support groups can be very helpful in dealing with the anxiety and distress that may accompany MS."
http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Symptoms-Diagnosis/MS-Symptoms/Emotional-Changes
"“Depression” is a term commonly applied to a wide variety of emotional states in MS. These may range from feeling down for a few hours on a given day to severe clinical depression that may last for several months. People with MS and all those closely associated with them should be aware that depression in its various forms is common during the course of multiple sclerosis.
In fact, studies have suggested that clinical depression, the severest form of depression, is more frequent among people with MS than it is in the general population or in persons with other chronic, disabling conditions. Depression does not indicate weak character and it should not be considered something shameful that needs to be hidden. Depression is not something that a person can control or prevent by willpower or determination. In its most severe forms, depression appears to be a chemical imbalance that may occur at any time, even when life is going well."
http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Symptoms-Diagnosis/MS-Symptoms/Depression
Truth..........situational depression and anxiety is a legitimate and understandable 'mental health issue' for anyone just diagnosed with MS!
Your 'current' mental health situation by your own words, truly shouldn't be over looked in the big picture of YOU, the well being of your self and your family will be better off in the long haul, if you recognise the state of your mental health 'before' you reach your crisis point and fall further into the black hole.
Make the choice to be proactive about the way you feel 'right now', be brave and speak to your doctor about getting some help to cope with being dx with MS, and to learn any of the emotional tools your currently needing....
Hugs..........JJ
I get it. I had a REALLY hard time with my diagnosis while coping with some of the worst symptoms I've had in my entire eight years with this disease. Couldn't drive, barely left the house, was so tearful and emotional, didn't want anyone to know. I think I was in a prolonged state of shock. I have no history of mental health issues either. I just had a really hard time. I don't know why some of us take it harder than others. I'd been through many of the ups and downs in life that most people go through, and I'd always been very resilient. But being diagnosed with MS just shattered me, for many months. I wasn't interested in counselling or meds. Eventually I adjusted, it just sunk in and I got used to the idea of having it. The only thing that really got me over it was time.
BTW those early, awful symptoms did subside. I think I told you I had double vision for about a year. I've never had a recurrence as bad as it was back then. It's too soon to know if your symptoms are permanent. I know it's easy to dwell on, that's pretty much all I did back then. I remember reading one of my neurology reports in which my neuro stated that I had "very active" early MS but that often once patients are on treatment they stabilize and disease activity settles down. I was certain I would not be so lucky. Fortunately I was wrong. Once I was on treatment I went from three relapses in a year to one every three years on average. You are right, no one can say for sure we'll be okay, all we can do is take advantage of the treatments available to us and make sure to take care of our overall health. Overall our chance of doing well is so much better than generations before us. I shudder to think of being diagnosed pre-DMDs.
As for why bad things happen? In the wise words of Dr. Gregory House, "People don't get what they deserve. They get what they get." Best not to overthink it, because there is no good answer to that question.
BTW those early, awful symptoms did subside. I think I told you I had double vision for about a year. I've never had a recurrence as bad as it was back then. It's too soon to know if your symptoms are permanent. I know it's easy to dwell on, that's pretty much all I did back then. I remember reading one of my neurology reports in which my neuro stated that I had "very active" early MS but that often once patients are on treatment they stabilize and disease activity settles down. I was certain I would not be so lucky. Fortunately I was wrong. Once I was on treatment I went from three relapses in a year to one every three years on average. You are right, no one can say for sure we'll be okay, all we can do is take advantage of the treatments available to us and make sure to take care of our overall health. Overall our chance of doing well is so much better than generations before us. I shudder to think of being diagnosed pre-DMDs.
As for why bad things happen? In the wise words of Dr. Gregory House, "People don't get what they deserve. They get what they get." Best not to overthink it, because there is no good answer to that question.
Thanks JJ... I need this to be understood by everyone, I have never had any history of having any mental heath/ anxiety/ panic/ depression issues, ever. Not even in the last 5 years of having this disease did I have these issues. I had the wired head/ weird eyes last year but it wasnt like this and it went away. I was left with dizziness or imblance issues that were not too bad.
This is the first time I ever had these issues and thought of as having mental heath issuess. I simply had none of these issues. I believe its situational, due to the shock of the diagnosis, mainly that the disease morphed over night literally. Went from mild symptoms with full to pretty close to full recoveries to permanent damage that may never heal. Dealing with this is hard. I can't find a silver lining, I can't see a light at the end of this tunnel. I can't envision myself living with the head symptoms. As aggravating as the physical symptoms are, if my head felt clear and my eyes would quite being weird i think i would be okay. That is what gets to me. Not being able to go to the store and by grocries with out feeling overwhelmed and like I have ADD on steroids. I don't know if its anxiety/depression or brain issues caused by the disease. And I certainty don't know how to fix it.
I'm sad for a number of reasons, that I can't do anything I want to with my kids right now, that I feel I never had a chance with this disease to slow it down before it got this bad. Had I had heath anxiety I would not have blown off all those mild early symptoms, believing it was stress, menopause. I know I need to get over what I can't change but it will take time. I just wish I knew how.
Its that this disease isn't predictable, not even the treatment can be predictable. Its that no one can truly reassure me that its going to be okay. No one knows. I know I need to be positive and strong and live one day at a time but I just don't know how to do that.
I also have guilt that I feel so sorry for myself when I know we all have this disease. I know I'm not special and this ***** for us all. I just wish I understood why bad things happen, none of us deserve this. But I don't have mental heath issues. I'm just sad that this has happened to me and to everyone else.
This is the first time I ever had these issues and thought of as having mental heath issuess. I simply had none of these issues. I believe its situational, due to the shock of the diagnosis, mainly that the disease morphed over night literally. Went from mild symptoms with full to pretty close to full recoveries to permanent damage that may never heal. Dealing with this is hard. I can't find a silver lining, I can't see a light at the end of this tunnel. I can't envision myself living with the head symptoms. As aggravating as the physical symptoms are, if my head felt clear and my eyes would quite being weird i think i would be okay. That is what gets to me. Not being able to go to the store and by grocries with out feeling overwhelmed and like I have ADD on steroids. I don't know if its anxiety/depression or brain issues caused by the disease. And I certainty don't know how to fix it.
I'm sad for a number of reasons, that I can't do anything I want to with my kids right now, that I feel I never had a chance with this disease to slow it down before it got this bad. Had I had heath anxiety I would not have blown off all those mild early symptoms, believing it was stress, menopause. I know I need to get over what I can't change but it will take time. I just wish I knew how.
Its that this disease isn't predictable, not even the treatment can be predictable. Its that no one can truly reassure me that its going to be okay. No one knows. I know I need to be positive and strong and live one day at a time but I just don't know how to do that.
I also have guilt that I feel so sorry for myself when I know we all have this disease. I know I'm not special and this ***** for us all. I just wish I understood why bad things happen, none of us deserve this. But I don't have mental heath issues. I'm just sad that this has happened to me and to everyone else.
COMMUNITY LEADER
BREATH!
You are currently dealing with high levels of anxiety and experiencing panic attacks, MS brain lesions can directly effect emotional responses depending on lesion location or indirectly cause depression, general or health anxiety etc with the more disabling of symptoms, in the newly diagnosed and or be an additional pre-existing medical condition.........please do not make the mistake of dismissing the worsening effects an anxious mind has on the physical issues caused by MS!
It's understandable if you're more sensitive to conversations about anxiety and mental health because of your past experiences but it is in your best interest to put aside your past and focus on your 'current' mental health situation. Anxiety even when experienced by pwMS will cause their thoughts to hyper focus onto their MS symptoms, how much attention is given to symptoms, fear and anxiousness can make anything appear to be worse than it truly is, because anxiety creates the fearful thoughts and negative emotional responses.
There is a lot of misconceptions regarding all the different mental health conditions and misunderstanding on how they differ in there effect on an individual. It isn't as uncommon as people think, for a person newly diagnosed with MS to additionally experience 'health anxiety', experiencing an extremely rapid decline, symptom development without corroborating clinical evidence of abnormality etc, the developmental pattern and missing diagnostic evidence more consistent with their health anxiety than their organic condition.
Collectively we have a lot of personal and or professional experience, some of us truly understand how even an MSer with non disabling symptoms can rapidly become disabled by their fears and anxieties focus..........please seriously consider being proactive about your mental health, with your current levels of anxiety and panic attacks, I truly believe it is in your best interest to be brave and seek medical assistance for this specific medical issue to help you in the short and long term!
Hugs........JJ
You are currently dealing with high levels of anxiety and experiencing panic attacks, MS brain lesions can directly effect emotional responses depending on lesion location or indirectly cause depression, general or health anxiety etc with the more disabling of symptoms, in the newly diagnosed and or be an additional pre-existing medical condition.........please do not make the mistake of dismissing the worsening effects an anxious mind has on the physical issues caused by MS!
It's understandable if you're more sensitive to conversations about anxiety and mental health because of your past experiences but it is in your best interest to put aside your past and focus on your 'current' mental health situation. Anxiety even when experienced by pwMS will cause their thoughts to hyper focus onto their MS symptoms, how much attention is given to symptoms, fear and anxiousness can make anything appear to be worse than it truly is, because anxiety creates the fearful thoughts and negative emotional responses.
There is a lot of misconceptions regarding all the different mental health conditions and misunderstanding on how they differ in there effect on an individual. It isn't as uncommon as people think, for a person newly diagnosed with MS to additionally experience 'health anxiety', experiencing an extremely rapid decline, symptom development without corroborating clinical evidence of abnormality etc, the developmental pattern and missing diagnostic evidence more consistent with their health anxiety than their organic condition.
Collectively we have a lot of personal and or professional experience, some of us truly understand how even an MSer with non disabling symptoms can rapidly become disabled by their fears and anxieties focus..........please seriously consider being proactive about your mental health, with your current levels of anxiety and panic attacks, I truly believe it is in your best interest to be brave and seek medical assistance for this specific medical issue to help you in the short and long term!
Hugs........JJ
I don't understand why you are not seeking relief from your symptoms as you await another neuro appointment. General practitioners/family doctors can prescribe a number of meds that can help.
You post many times a day, which in itself is fine, but to me indicates you are fixating on MS to an extreme degree. My advice is to detach, to the extent you can. Get immediate help for symptoms, await your next MS intervention, but meanwhile live your life.
Many here, including me, have dealt with this, and we know about MS and its issues. You are not unique in this, but you may be making things worse by your intense focus. Lots of us have severe symptoms, and lots of us also do not have significant mental health problems. We do research medications, and are generally aware of life with MS. There are thousands of posts that demonstrate what I'm saying. We know how to put things in perspective, and we know that trying to control every aspect of MS is not only unwise, but is futile. Things do tend to work out, believe me.
ess
You post many times a day, which in itself is fine, but to me indicates you are fixating on MS to an extreme degree. My advice is to detach, to the extent you can. Get immediate help for symptoms, await your next MS intervention, but meanwhile live your life.
Many here, including me, have dealt with this, and we know about MS and its issues. You are not unique in this, but you may be making things worse by your intense focus. Lots of us have severe symptoms, and lots of us also do not have significant mental health problems. We do research medications, and are generally aware of life with MS. There are thousands of posts that demonstrate what I'm saying. We know how to put things in perspective, and we know that trying to control every aspect of MS is not only unwise, but is futile. Things do tend to work out, believe me.
ess
Atta girl, one thing at a time. Since MS varies so much from person to person it is key to just listen to your body and not try to understand every symptom unless it becomes a longterm symptom. A lot of symptoms are transient and just occur sporadically.
Take it one day at a time as opposed to worrying about down the road. How you react today will help you in the long run.
I have learned that not every new symptom means a progression which took me a while to understand. I have almost a dozen new longterm symptoms in the 2 years since I was diagnosed but my MRIs remain the same, no new lesions.
C.
Take it one day at a time as opposed to worrying about down the road. How you react today will help you in the long run.
I have learned that not every new symptom means a progression which took me a while to understand. I have almost a dozen new longterm symptoms in the 2 years since I was diagnosed but my MRIs remain the same, no new lesions.
C.
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