I am at a place that I never wanted to be.......

[crecco]

  For right now, I have to make this short and sweet as it is hard to type through the tears. I saw my Dr today ad got the results of Mondays CT scan. Things do not look good. My counts went from 1334 to over 3000 in two weeks and the scan shows rapidly progressing disease. I go in next Mon to have a pic line put in and Wed to start navelbine. He figures that there is only about a 15 to 20 percent chance that chemo will make any significant difference. But I am to keep my hopes up because we just never know.
  
   I promise that we will have our get together in Chicago, if it is the last thing that I ever do.  That is going to happen and I will be there no matter what.
   When I calm down a little bit later on, I will be back on and get my butt in gear. I just wanted to let you all know what was going on. I love each and every one of you.
                  Chris
  

[crecco]

  Once again I type through tears, but they are a different kind of tears. I do not know what I would do without any of you. I was so very upset when I posted earlier. My Dr did say that he was my biggest fan and would do anything and everything he could for me. He is still optimistic that we can find something that will help some. And told me not to give up hope, he wasn't. I did ask if I had reached the point where it was going to start taking over and he said that was possible. He also said that as I was still basically in good health, still felt good, still had a good appetite, that it was possible it could work. But that it was a conversation that we needed to have. He is going to confer with another Dr in St Louis to see if there are any different drugs that he is excited about that we could possibly try.
  I promise i will not stress myself out but this trip to Chicago means more to me now than ever. You humble me with your kind words. I have only tried to give back what was given to me when I first found this forum. I have never felt so much a part of something in all of my life. The care, love and support from so many people, gives me a strength that is hard to describe. I thank you all for that. I will not go down without a fight, and knowing you are all right there with me makes me that much more determined. Virtual hugs and lots of love to all of you.
     Chris

[gah_70]

Well ****! That's about the most profound thing I can think to say at the moment.  I am so sorry this disease is rearing it's ugly head in such a way, but even more sorry that it is hurting you like this.  I agree with the other ladies about Chicago. I will do everything I can to take that burden off you so you can do your part...which is to rest and heal.  I will call you sometime this weekend and we'll talk about things...whatever you want.  You have so many people who love you and are right there with you.  I may not be able to give you a physical hug, but I am sending all the virtual ones I can muster.  

Love,
Gail

[lvfrogs]

Can I be the one to say that this *****! I hope that MH doesn't erase that. I am so sorry to hear this news but I will remain ever hopeful that you will pull through this too. You are such a strong woman, well loved and all the prayers will be with you girl! Don't worry about Chicago. Whatever we can do, we will do and you just plan on being there to celebrate. I love you! Colleen

[dawnlyn]

I am so sorry to hear this news, I was ever hopeful.  I am praying for you....Be strong I wish I could do more....I hope the Navelbine will work.....I am here for you.....I want to give you a big hug....I love you, you are a very special lady........

Love, Dawnlyn

[JC145]

Oh, Chris, how terribly sorry I am to hear your news.  I will pray that the Navelbine works for you ... 15 to 20% .. and you will be one of them!  There are no words to take away your fear and  pain ... just know we are all here for you.  

Love,
Judy

[silver&gold]

Dear Chris, I am devastated to read this, I am praying that the navelbine will work. I don,t know what to say other than you are loved and respected by all because you have time for everybody and are one of  a few Ladies that are special to me here.
Sending you lots and lots of love and hugs Chris.

Love Angie