Jan

[cirella]

Hi All,
I started this this AM and have updated it.  I decided to just leave it the way I wrote it originally and you'll see the edit.
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Whew boy...I don't really post too much anymore and it is killing me to come here now to post this.  I don't have a lot of information but will be speaking to Lisa later today.  Lisa told me that Hospice is setting Jan up today.  I am very scared and part of me wants to run and not find out the truth but that won't happen.  What I wanted to do today is ask that those of you who know Jan, will you please post some thoughts so that Lisa can give them to Jan?  I want her to know just how deeply she is loved and missed on this forum.  Thank you.  I will start.
**edit**  Lisa said that Hospice has set up a bed downstairs for Jan.  At this time, they are trying to get her pain regulated.  It sounds like she's either over medicated and sleeping or awake and in pain.  I really hope they can get that to a point where she can be as comfortable as can be without sleeping all the time.  It sounds as if she has a blockage of some sort.

All who know Jan knows that she is a fighter.  I know she is fighting her hardest right now and will continue to do so.  I want her to fight with all her might but I also want her to realize that it's OK if she just cannot fight any longer.  I pray that the Lord holds Jan and her family closely to him.  I pray that Jan feels the love and comfort of her Father.  Lord, I ask you to cast out fear if there is any and replace it with peace.  This is my prayer for Jan, her family and all of us.  I know that I am afraid, mad, sad.  I don't want to lose my friend but I also don't want her to be in pain any longer.  I'd better stop now but I could go on and on...**end edit**

My Dear Buddy, Jan,
I can hardly choke this out.  I feel that all through our friendship I have tried to think about anything but today.  I've wanted to give you a normal friendship, knowing that we met on an ovarian cancer site but still...   I came on here with questions, like anyone else.  I felt a little guilty for blabbering my stuff when there were women on here dealing with their cancer when I was in limbo-land.  You drew me out, got me talking and our friendship formed.

In the short time we've known each other there have been some kind of wild and strange things happen on this forum.  Some have hurt me as I am sure you have been affected by the fakes but the difference between us is that you see people in such a unique way.  Maybe that's the lawyer in you?  You have been able to come back here and give the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.  You see people for who they are and you certainly call em like you see em.  I LOVE that about you.  That quality is so child-like and pure and if we all took the time to really listen to our gut like you do it would sure as h*ll cut out a lot of the bull.  If I do answer a post I usually ask myself...what would Jan say to this person?  Then I temper it down a little...LOL  ; )   No, really though, you have a way of telling the truth even if it may not be what someone wants to hear.  It may not be what they want to hear but it may be what they need to hear.

I know for a fact that you have helped many women here.  The forum hasn't been the same since you've been gone.  So many of the "old timers" aren't around much.  We've lost too many to death and some have gone off to other forums.  I'm so very thankful that we have kept in touch and I'm mostly thankful that we got to meet last year.  To put your beautiful face and tiny body together with your ferocious, huge, loving, giving and honest heart was something I will treasure forever.  I remember I kept asking you if you were OK.  Finally you said, "Lori, you haven't been around a lot of cancer patients, have you?"  LOL  The answer was NO and I guess it showed.  LOL  Not sure why that makes me chuckle but it does.

You are one person who sees beauty around you.  You nurture.  You care.  You live and love.  And, I love you.
L

[TrudieC]

Goodbye my sweet Jan.  I am so glad you are relieved from such suffering and pain.  My heart is breaking knowing we won't have you in our world.

Lisa, please give my condolences to Cory and the girls.  And sweetie, do know that Jan was so happy to have you with her in her last days.  Try and rest and take care of you.

Love, Trudie

[cirella]

Today is the day I've dreaded for a very long time.  It is comforting to know that Jan is now pain free and sitting in her Father's loving arms.  On the other side...I'm heartbroken.

Hugs to you and the family, Lisa.
Love, L

[bmcd]

Good bye sweet Jan...God speed brave warrior!!  My deepest condolences to Cory, Lisa and the rest of the family for your loss.

God Bless,
Bob & Ashley

[PinkTissue]

My condolences. I would be thinking and praying for your family.

PinkTissue

[Searching48507]

I am so very sorry.  I will continue to keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.  

God Bless,

Karen

[dawnlyn]

I am so sorry, my deepest sympathies go out to all of you. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.  And remember what Becky said we will be here for all of you.

Love,
Dawnlyn