Aa
Something to make you smile :)
Nine words women use...
1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to 3.Then you RUN!
1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to 3.Then you RUN!
Cirella,
That's hysterical! I've got another one:
Man to God: Lord, why did you make woman so beautiful?
God: So that you would love her.
Man: Yes, but why did you make woman to smell so sweet?
God: So that you would love her.
Man: Yes, but why did you make woman to feel so soft?
God: So that you would love her.
Man: Yes, but why did you make woman SO stupid?
God: Ah! So that *she* would love *you*.
That's hysterical! I've got another one:
Man to God: Lord, why did you make woman so beautiful?
God: So that you would love her.
Man: Yes, but why did you make woman to smell so sweet?
God: So that you would love her.
Man: Yes, but why did you make woman to feel so soft?
God: So that you would love her.
Man: Yes, but why did you make woman SO stupid?
God: Ah! So that *she* would love *you*.
Man to Woman: "I've been thinking...I'm the MAN of the house, so starting tomorrow I want you to have a hot, delicious meal ready for me the second I walk thru that door...Afterwards, while watching ESPN and relaxing in my chair, you'll bring me my slippers and then run my bath...And when I'm done with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
Woman to Man: "The Funeral Director"
Woman to Man: "The Funeral Director"
A confession:
When I am hungry and don't know what sounds good I ask my husband for help. He begins offering suggestions, none of which sound good. He tries really hard, but I act mad that he doesn't know what I want to eat. I know this is mean, but I have done it for 18 years. I don't think I'll quit. I am not going to let him read your post. I think it might empower him to quit trying so hard to figure me out!!! Marie
When I am hungry and don't know what sounds good I ask my husband for help. He begins offering suggestions, none of which sound good. He tries really hard, but I act mad that he doesn't know what I want to eat. I know this is mean, but I have done it for 18 years. I don't think I'll quit. I am not going to let him read your post. I think it might empower him to quit trying so hard to figure me out!!! Marie
Touché
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side:
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
2. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
3. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
7. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. Check your oil! Please.
12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
14. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
18. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
23. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
24. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Have a Great Day!
Bob
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side:
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
2. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
3. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
7. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. Check your oil! Please.
12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
14. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
18. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
23. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
24. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Have a Great Day!
Bob
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