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OUR NEIGHBORHOOD
If you are anything like me you will have sensed a general air of gloominess & despondency over our neighborhood lately and I don't like it. There have been so many sad things happen in recent months. There are many of us who are in treatments or phases of treatments that are making us really sick. On top of cancer so many are facing loneliness, financial stresses, fears for themselves and their families. I am sure all of us in the winter season are feeling the mid winter blahs. It just all feels wrong. I know some of you who actually have stopped posting so much because the forum format changed. Please get used to it, we need everyone's participation.
Speaking of which, I for one would like to settle the issue of people being on here that don't have cancer. My stance on this is that anyone touched by ovarian cancer and especially those worrying about whether they have it or not belongs here. I know I want to do everything I can to make sure someone doesn't get it or finds it early if they have it and Lord only knows where this forum would be if it were not for those that love us looking for answers. Most of our best researchers are those that don't have it. Besides we need a few well people to make sure this place keeps going when the rest of us are sick. LOL
I have always considered this more than a forum, I think of it as a neighborhood. Just like anyplace else, I know some of my neighbors better than others, some have become best friends, some I know only by sight and with some I know the whole family. However, this is a neighborhood that is constantly touched by grief. Think about this being your neighborhood. What would it feel like if several of your neighbors had died, several had been diagnosed with cancer and were on chemo, some lost children, some were going through divorce, several more had questionable health problems requiring surgeries? What if a mother you knew and her teenage daughter died within months of each other and most of your neighbors were in the hospital more than out? What if everyday some tragedy struck your neighbor? That would be a neighborhood that would, over time, become toxic and I think that is what I have been feeling lately.
I know we muddle along as best we can, and we are very supportive of each other, but I think we
can do more to find ways to lighten this aura of sadness. No neighborhood can withstand the onsIaught of changes that have and do occur here without going batty, if positve steps are not taken to alleviate that stress. The sadness I hear in the posts and in your emails (don't any of you dare stop writing, I do the same to you) has prompted me to write this in hopes that we can build a more permanent infrastructure to alleviate the stress and sadness.
I have a few suggestions but I would love to hear what ideas you all can come up with if you would care to do this.
I know that before I started really posting (yes, I was a voyerur) there were some people who would host parties to get away from all of this. I don't possess the imagination to host a cyber party, but I bet there are quite a few of you that would be good at that.
I think we could use Chatzy (maybe another room from SpaceCadet, Marty) to have "coffee" groups in the morning or, afternoon get togethers or whatever time of the day or times a day that we could schedule to get together. That way we get to know more of our neighbors and if we get this set up I would strongly encourage any new people to join in, that's kinda the purpose of it :-)
To that end I am going to start by making sure that everyone on my friends list knows each other and if they don't I will "introduce" them. I would encourage you all to do the same. If it were a real neighborhood you would not hesitate for a second so you shouldn't feel silly doing it here. I have "introduced" several people to my husband and he has "chatted" with them. It has been kind of fun. So you don't have to write emails to each and everyone you could start a post of "Moonlight's Friends" and all of your friends could me on that post.
I would like to schedule times to work on Marty's suggestion of getting a newspaper article together.
I would like to see a daily "good news post". It can be good news about yourself, medical or otherwise, your daughter getting the lead in the 5th grade play, your husband getting an award at work (mine is tonight, that's what made me think of it), finally getting that basement finished etc. I don't care if it is only "Hey, I didn't throw up today!!" What is that song about accentuating the positive? Man, if you all really knew me you would know what an oxymoron it is that I have always been a cheerleader.
I would like to see us have a neighborhood welcome wagon. People could voluntarily rotate and when new people come on but hesitate to really join in that person could reach out to them and maybe introduce them to a few people. I do notice people hanging back and I know when I first came on here someone reached out to me and it made it so much easier having one of the "old timers" pulled me into the circle.
I would like to see a committee of people that would keep track of those that are going in for surgery. Sometimes someone thinks to do a post but I would like to do it for everyone.
We could have a book club or clubs depending on what kinds of books everyone loves or hates to read. Hey, Oprah has a book club with millions of strangers. We could also have a garden club for those of us that like gardening.
Oh, I would like to see everybody introduce themselves to everybody in their state. You Illinois people better get cracking, there's a ton of you : - ). I have started to keep a big spiral notebook. It was the only way I could keep track.
Obviously I can't do all of this by myself. There are just to many bad days, but if you all want to do some of these things or others like them we could pull it off. The more people that volunteer to help on committees the less everyone has to do and the more everyone would enjoy it. If we could get 15-30 people for each committee (book/garden/whatever clubs could be as little as two so that wouldn't matter) everyone would only have to do a day or two a month. Also, when it is your day you may not have to do anything if nobody is going in the hospital or no new people show up. This won't be like volunteering to do a few things for the PTA and the next thing you know you can't recognize your own husband in a line up. (Yep, been there) Also, the more people that help the more there are to fill in if someone has to go out of town or is too sick to participate.
Obviously I would volunteer to organize and coordinate things. I would keep lists of who is on every committee and make sure that everyone has the list they join so you can email people if you can't do your day.
I am still working on the google map thing.
If you like these ideas and want to participate just tell me what you would like to do and I'll start getting the lists ready. Also, let me know when you would want to do something. If you want to "host" a morning coffee in a chat room that would be great. If you want to do the welcome wagon but can't do it on Mondays let me know that also. I would like to see eveyone volunteer for a rotation on the good news post. Give you something happy to think and write about.
OMG I have forty five minutes to look like a million and I feel like a penny. BYE
Jan
Speaking of which, I for one would like to settle the issue of people being on here that don't have cancer. My stance on this is that anyone touched by ovarian cancer and especially those worrying about whether they have it or not belongs here. I know I want to do everything I can to make sure someone doesn't get it or finds it early if they have it and Lord only knows where this forum would be if it were not for those that love us looking for answers. Most of our best researchers are those that don't have it. Besides we need a few well people to make sure this place keeps going when the rest of us are sick. LOL
I have always considered this more than a forum, I think of it as a neighborhood. Just like anyplace else, I know some of my neighbors better than others, some have become best friends, some I know only by sight and with some I know the whole family. However, this is a neighborhood that is constantly touched by grief. Think about this being your neighborhood. What would it feel like if several of your neighbors had died, several had been diagnosed with cancer and were on chemo, some lost children, some were going through divorce, several more had questionable health problems requiring surgeries? What if a mother you knew and her teenage daughter died within months of each other and most of your neighbors were in the hospital more than out? What if everyday some tragedy struck your neighbor? That would be a neighborhood that would, over time, become toxic and I think that is what I have been feeling lately.
I know we muddle along as best we can, and we are very supportive of each other, but I think we
can do more to find ways to lighten this aura of sadness. No neighborhood can withstand the onsIaught of changes that have and do occur here without going batty, if positve steps are not taken to alleviate that stress. The sadness I hear in the posts and in your emails (don't any of you dare stop writing, I do the same to you) has prompted me to write this in hopes that we can build a more permanent infrastructure to alleviate the stress and sadness.
I have a few suggestions but I would love to hear what ideas you all can come up with if you would care to do this.
I know that before I started really posting (yes, I was a voyerur) there were some people who would host parties to get away from all of this. I don't possess the imagination to host a cyber party, but I bet there are quite a few of you that would be good at that.
I think we could use Chatzy (maybe another room from SpaceCadet, Marty) to have "coffee" groups in the morning or, afternoon get togethers or whatever time of the day or times a day that we could schedule to get together. That way we get to know more of our neighbors and if we get this set up I would strongly encourage any new people to join in, that's kinda the purpose of it :-)
To that end I am going to start by making sure that everyone on my friends list knows each other and if they don't I will "introduce" them. I would encourage you all to do the same. If it were a real neighborhood you would not hesitate for a second so you shouldn't feel silly doing it here. I have "introduced" several people to my husband and he has "chatted" with them. It has been kind of fun. So you don't have to write emails to each and everyone you could start a post of "Moonlight's Friends" and all of your friends could me on that post.
I would like to schedule times to work on Marty's suggestion of getting a newspaper article together.
I would like to see a daily "good news post". It can be good news about yourself, medical or otherwise, your daughter getting the lead in the 5th grade play, your husband getting an award at work (mine is tonight, that's what made me think of it), finally getting that basement finished etc. I don't care if it is only "Hey, I didn't throw up today!!" What is that song about accentuating the positive? Man, if you all really knew me you would know what an oxymoron it is that I have always been a cheerleader.
I would like to see us have a neighborhood welcome wagon. People could voluntarily rotate and when new people come on but hesitate to really join in that person could reach out to them and maybe introduce them to a few people. I do notice people hanging back and I know when I first came on here someone reached out to me and it made it so much easier having one of the "old timers" pulled me into the circle.
I would like to see a committee of people that would keep track of those that are going in for surgery. Sometimes someone thinks to do a post but I would like to do it for everyone.
We could have a book club or clubs depending on what kinds of books everyone loves or hates to read. Hey, Oprah has a book club with millions of strangers. We could also have a garden club for those of us that like gardening.
Oh, I would like to see everybody introduce themselves to everybody in their state. You Illinois people better get cracking, there's a ton of you : - ). I have started to keep a big spiral notebook. It was the only way I could keep track.
Obviously I can't do all of this by myself. There are just to many bad days, but if you all want to do some of these things or others like them we could pull it off. The more people that volunteer to help on committees the less everyone has to do and the more everyone would enjoy it. If we could get 15-30 people for each committee (book/garden/whatever clubs could be as little as two so that wouldn't matter) everyone would only have to do a day or two a month. Also, when it is your day you may not have to do anything if nobody is going in the hospital or no new people show up. This won't be like volunteering to do a few things for the PTA and the next thing you know you can't recognize your own husband in a line up. (Yep, been there) Also, the more people that help the more there are to fill in if someone has to go out of town or is too sick to participate.
Obviously I would volunteer to organize and coordinate things. I would keep lists of who is on every committee and make sure that everyone has the list they join so you can email people if you can't do your day.
I am still working on the google map thing.
If you like these ideas and want to participate just tell me what you would like to do and I'll start getting the lists ready. Also, let me know when you would want to do something. If you want to "host" a morning coffee in a chat room that would be great. If you want to do the welcome wagon but can't do it on Mondays let me know that also. I would like to see eveyone volunteer for a rotation on the good news post. Give you something happy to think and write about.
OMG I have forty five minutes to look like a million and I feel like a penny. BYE
Jan
I think it is a great idea but unfortunately due to the time difference between Australia and the states I won't be able to join in as I am normally posting when you are all snoozing. I hope this is the start of a good year for all of us.
Hugs to all
Jenny
Hugs to all
Jenny
Thank you so much for this post Jan, I have been lurking for a couple of weeks now and posted once or twice but was feeling that as i am not diagnosed i shouldn't be invading your much needed space. But now you have given me the strength and courage to go on and make a post about what is happening for me at the minute.
If i stay around, i'm a book lover, so maybe could start a thread for books? But time will see i suppose....
Thank you to you all x
If i stay around, i'm a book lover, so maybe could start a thread for books? But time will see i suppose....
Thank you to you all x
I didn't see your reply about posting the birthday or good news until after I had already posted. If someone tells me what to do, lol, (I take good directions), I would be more than happy to do that. Just let me know :)
Colleen
Colleen
Helen: Those of you that are in completely different time zones or sleep patterns can always posts the next days list of birthdays or surgeries or chemo's etc. That is the perfect time to do it. Also those of us like Deandra, myself and i am sure others could have our own late night parties. It is always hard to wrap my brain around time zones, but when I looked at Austrailia depending where you are it is somewhere in between 1:15 PM and 5:45. That is a big time difference, but still there are some overlapping times depending on your schedule. What city do you live in?
Mary: That would be great if you could contact her. Maybe she would do the honors and host the party. I hear she was very good at it. If not maybe one of you ladies that participated could get the ball rolling.
Sandy: That is really great news. I hope it always stays that way. When you come around, don't lurk. Come in and say hi! I am sure we would all ask that you take what you know out in the world and you tell as many women as you can get to listen; and you will be surprised how many really start to listen. Praying for and reaching out to strangers is what I believe Jesus has called us to do. Whatever our individual beliefs, most everyone on here can agree that basic human kindness and compassion is reason enough to reach out.
Sharon: Thank you for your kindness. I think that is a wonderful idea. Maybe we can find someone who would be willing to teach spanish. Perhaps you can teach them something they would like to learn or maybe of group can get together to learn something. It would be easy enough. You would just have the tutor write in spanish with an english translation and it would conversational stuff so I do think it would be easier to pick up. You would have to respond in mostly spanish and they could correct it and also write something new. When I took it in college (like Algebra got A's didn't retain it) we learned by conjugating verbs and by categories like food, occupations, types of buildings, shapes, colors, etc. It was really fun and had I used it I am sure I would have retained it. No, the times are in SimplyStars CST. That would be 7 your time. I have always wanted to travel to Oregon and Washington. Except Alaska the only states I have not been to.
Thanks everybody you all are wonderful
Jan
Mary: That would be great if you could contact her. Maybe she would do the honors and host the party. I hear she was very good at it. If not maybe one of you ladies that participated could get the ball rolling.
Sandy: That is really great news. I hope it always stays that way. When you come around, don't lurk. Come in and say hi! I am sure we would all ask that you take what you know out in the world and you tell as many women as you can get to listen; and you will be surprised how many really start to listen. Praying for and reaching out to strangers is what I believe Jesus has called us to do. Whatever our individual beliefs, most everyone on here can agree that basic human kindness and compassion is reason enough to reach out.
Sharon: Thank you for your kindness. I think that is a wonderful idea. Maybe we can find someone who would be willing to teach spanish. Perhaps you can teach them something they would like to learn or maybe of group can get together to learn something. It would be easy enough. You would just have the tutor write in spanish with an english translation and it would conversational stuff so I do think it would be easier to pick up. You would have to respond in mostly spanish and they could correct it and also write something new. When I took it in college (like Algebra got A's didn't retain it) we learned by conjugating verbs and by categories like food, occupations, types of buildings, shapes, colors, etc. It was really fun and had I used it I am sure I would have retained it. No, the times are in SimplyStars CST. That would be 7 your time. I have always wanted to travel to Oregon and Washington. Except Alaska the only states I have not been to.
Thanks everybody you all are wonderful
Jan
Jan, you are such a wonderful, warm person! Your posts have been so helpful to me and you are such a joy! This might sound weird, but do you know what I would like to do? I want to learn Spanish and I don't know where to begin!! Is anyone interested in helping me out with this? I understand conversational is the easiest way to learn. I need a Spanish speaking buddy :-) I'm not sure how it might work, but I'm willing to ask my neighbors what they think of the idea :-)
I will try to log in to the chat room sometime. My time is so much less now that I'm back at work...by the time I get through traffic and make it home I'm exhausted and have do get ready to do it all again the following day! Are the chatroom times in Eastern time zones?
Sharon
I will try to log in to the chat room sometime. My time is so much less now that I'm back at work...by the time I get through traffic and make it home I'm exhausted and have do get ready to do it all again the following day! Are the chatroom times in Eastern time zones?
Sharon
Hi Sandy.. it's good to hear that great news. I hope you continue on throughout life staying well....hugs...Helen..
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