new chemo

[dustinsmom2004]

I have been put on doxil along with the avaistan and it has been nothing short of horrible. Lets just say I dont go too far away from the house. I thought constipation would be a problem, but no,,,,, I feel like I ate a pound of chocolate ex lax. A person would think that a little more than two days would have to pass before something like that would happen, my ca 125 numbers are hovering in the 2 thousands (mid way through). I almost wonder if you are supposed to evacuate the cancer cells in the way I am (sorry so much information). The doctor said this is a very aggressive combination and that if I did not have bone or lung mets he would have hesitated before using it. Right now I am just venting. I am so tired that I am not working, not going to church, and driving only when I have to, but not today needless to say. I am going weekly for chemo (I aint never heard of that in my life) I mean just give my body a break before I decide to give it a break for them. That is all I really want, just one day with out cancer. The other night I was up until 4a wondering how in the world I can sleep knowing that the cancer is just about all over my body. I am taking sleeping pills and xanax and still no help. I wish that I could just wake up one day and it would have been just one horrible dream. I am 36 yrs old and have a darn pill container that states monday tuesday etc. so that I dont forget whether or not i forgot to take anything. I feel like a walking pharmacy sometimes. Then to make matters worse, I go to the er last nite and they look at me like I am some kind of addict. I only went because I couldnt take the bone pain any more since I had neulasta yesterday. They even went so far as to run a drug screen and question me. I coulda lived with the bone pain but some zofran woulda been nice. I left ama (against medical advice). I am sorry to vent, I just want one day when cancer is not in the forefront of my mind and ca-125 numbers slapping me in the face, and insensitive er docs telling me that they feel I am terminal., and nurses looking at me with put upon pityGRRRR

[paula29]

I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with so much.  Cancer is overwhelming.  You have to go through the stages just as you would grieve a death...shock, denial, why me, anger and finally, acceptance.  Then you can go into fight mode.

I went to the ER after bleeding for days and I mean a heavy clot every few minutes.  I scooped some in a zip bag to take with me to the ER.  The doctor, when he finally saw me hours later, did not even want to look at the huge clots.  I was dismisssed with no meds and orders to rest and see a gynecologist.  

Months later, after seeing two gynecologists who said I had a yeast infection, I finally was sent to a new gyn by my urologist who was concerned about the bleeding.  The gyn put me in the hospital, did a biopsy, a D & C and a hysteroscopy.  He told me it could take several weeks to get the results and said he would call me.  When he called the next day, I already knew what he would say...you have uterine cancer (the diagnosis of ovarian cancer came later).  The pain had been so severe, I thought, "If this isn't cancer, what could cancer possible feel like?"

He referred me to a gyno/oncologist who came into his office and while he was shaking hands with me, said, "Nothing bad is going to happen on my watch!"  Talk about inspiring confidence!  He scheduled surgery and was able to get most of the cancer but for the small amount he could not reach, he scheduled six rounds of Taxol/paraplatin (total toxic poison).  I had both squamous and clear cells so he had to treat it aggressively.  He also changed the diagnosis to ovarian Stage 1 C/uterine cancer.  I was one of the lucky ones who was diagnosed early before it spread any further.

I was told I might have some flu-like side-effects but was never told they were cumulative.  At the end I had to be hopitalized for 10 days because my red and white cells were depleted.  In two months, I received 28 pints of blood and platelets and shots of Neupagen and Procrit everyday for weeks.  Then the insurance company cut me off.  The hematologist/oncologist said the further one gets from the last chemo, the more likely the insurance company is to cut one off.  I also had gastro problems for months afterwards.  I would take Colase softener and then Lomotil to stop the results.  I finally stopped when I realized I was playing havoc with my system.  I began taking fiber tablets and eating Fiber One cereal and they have both helped considerably.

I wish I could remember the ER doctor's name.  I would go punch his lights out for dismissing me the way he did.  If he had taken my symptoms seriously, I could have been treated much sooner and could have avoided a lot of heartache for my family.

Best of luck to you.  I send you tight hugs.  Everyone on this site knows how frustrating this is for you and we are here for you.  Treat yourself well.

Much love,
Paula29

[survivor_susie]

OK.  What you're going through is REALLY not fair. I'm angry for you that you are still fighting these beasties.  You are in my prayers and thoughts.

I have encouragement, love and prayers to send you.  But, I also have one suggestion for the diarrhea. I, too, had ovarian and uterine cancer.  When I began radiation for the uterine cancer, the nutritionist at the hospital met with me. She was pretty adamant about taking two things for the intestines:  L Glutamine and probiotics. Chemo destroys these two things and the result is intestinal problems.  L Glutamine is a tasteless powder which you add to food.  It provides energy and soothes the intestines.  The probiotics are a chewable pill--it's yummy!--once in the morning.  I take Multidophilus Plus, found in the refrigerator section of most vitamin/health food stores.  The difference is night and day when I use these medications. The doctor who performed my colonoscopy mentioned that his business is dwindling because of probiotics!  It's so good for the intestines.

Best of luck to you, sweet lady.  Hang in there.  Kathy

About passing the gene along; I was tested, and I tested negative, for two types of genes.  Yet I got three cancers.  Go figure.  By the time your daughters are grown, I'll bet there will be stem cell therapy which will cure cancer.

[momofsandj]

I am so sorry for all that you are going through -- I had the runs from Doxil too, and chronic nausea --- My heart goes out to you --- on the Doxil you can't use hot baths or warming blankets because it will just give you a skin reaction to the doxil -- xanax isn't enough -- it only lasts 4 hours at best --- see if someone will give you clonazepam which lasts much longer and take it twice a day --- also think about an antidepressant which while it takes a while to work helps mentally and offsets some of the symptoms --- I take so many meds I rattle when I walk and I too have to be careful because I can't remember what I have taken if I don't have it organized in my medicine cabinet.  My cancer no longer goes into remission and just stays there -- I understand your wanting just one day without cancer --- the only thing I can suggest is to say screw the cancer and on a day when you are not feeling absolutely awful, do something normal and tell yourself you don't have cancer that day -- I've done that when I've been really down in the dumps -- it helped for a few hours

I have a biologic daughter and an adopted son -- I also do have the BRCA! gene defect and I worry every day about whether or not I have passed it on to her ---- the only thing we can do is to be extra vigilent with her and try to convince myself that it's not my fault -- that I couldn't control my genetics (although I would have adopted the first child had I known I had this defect)  -- You are depressed and that just makes you feel worse about your lovely daughters -- they are so young that by the time they are old enough to have to deal with this issue there will be pills they can take to make it go away or not cause all these problems ---I didn't believe that but my sister was diagnosed 18 years ago and they didn't find out about Taxol until she was almost dead -- and she was looking into Doxil before it was even in phase 1 clinical trials -- and there was no gene test ---- there really are new developments all the time so try not to worry about the girls ---

By the way, my doctor suggested 50 mg of B6 to help offset the Doxil side effects -- I know the last thing you want is another pill, but it may help and it's not that expensive.

I wish I could really help you -- I do know how you feel --- I've been through 18 rounds of chemo in 5 years, and lost a sister to this monster and have a daughter --- my heart goes out to you and your family and I really wish there was something I could do other than pray and send hugs --- consider yourself wrapped in all  of our hugs and support.

With all sincerity
Jeanne

[crecco]

I know it is hard and you have every right to wish for a "normal" day, where cancer is not the number one thing in your mind. I think that in order for the Avastin to work the way it is supposed to, you have to recieve it every other week, that is why you get the weekly chemo. Do you get the Avastin and Doxil one week then Doxil alone then Avastin and Doxil again then a week off? That is the schedule I am on but with Avatin and Abraxaxne.
Yes I agree that life can pretty much **** when all you seem to get done is trying to stay healthy enough for chemo and to fight the cancer. I have a pill container too, but I have to remember to fill it if I want to remember to take all the medication I have to take. 2 blood pressure meds, arthritis med, effexor for hot flashes, zantac for gas and indigestion, my daily vitamin, then if I need it, ativan to help me sleep, compazine if I feel nauseated, and vicoden if I am really achy. And I never took anything other than motrin for years! then if I have my pill container filled up, I have to try and remember just what day it is and always wonder if i might have missed a day.
  You go right ahead and vent all you want and know that there are a lot of us that know exactly what you are talking about.
  I hope that the chemo will begin to get a little easier for you and you begin to feel a little better.
  Chris

[StillFighting]

what can I possibly do to save them from what I am going through

There is indeed a test, and a vaccine I believe. But you have to have the vaccine early in life. (pre sex era) Dont that beat all. Once again its the mans fault LOL.

all kidding aside, wraps you up in my arms and just holds on to you. Chemo ***** honey I know it does, but you can't give in to it. You have beautiful daughters to raise.

If the Docs and nurses look at ya like your on your last leg then stick your nose in the air and prove em wrong. They may be Dr's and Nurses and gone to school for a lot of years, but that doesn't make em a "know all end all"
Brightest Blessings
Michelle

[bohan54]

Blanked out word is s%cks

[bohan54]

Venting is what we are here for!  I would like to go out and shout for you right this minute.  It is hard to remember that we have identities independent of our illness when it ***** all the joy from life.  If I could send you some of my Zofran without getting arrested, I would.
Sharon

[gma718]

Please try and stay as strong as you can...I dont know firsthand what you are dealing with but I know that I will be sending positive prayers your way and good wishes...I hear your frustration, your sadness, your pain in your posts and I wish that I could do something to ease it..anytime you want to vent..come here and do it!  I will be praying for you and keep the faith!!! Take care and stay strong...Gia

[JC145]

There is a test to determine if you are carrying the gene or if this was a random "occurence".  My dtrs (adults) do not want me to get the test.  They feel they are aware and will be vigilent.  I would have preferred to have had the gene test.  Judy

[JC145]

There is a test to determine if you are carrying the gene or if this was a random "occurence".  My dtrs (adults) do not want me to get the test.  They feel they are aware and will be vigilent.  I would have preferred to have had the gene test.  Judy

[dustinsmom2004]

I have another worry also that is tearing me apart. I know that ovca and uterine ca ( this all started with uterine ca) can be hereditary and that I will pass this monster on to my beautiful daughters what can I possibly do to save them from what I am going through, I have an 11 yr old daughter and a 3 yr old daughter. Each and every time I think about it I just cry. I can feel it affecting every thing I do with them and I find myself spoiling them so much more than my boys. Please advise

[JC145]

The pain and anguish in you note hurts my heart for you.  I hope by putting it in writing it has somehow eased your suffering.  You are going through so much and all I can do is tell you that I will be pray for some relief and good results from all of this.  I have no answers.  God Bless You.  Judy

[Lafnatitall]

This is the 1st time I have posted on the forum, but my sister lafnatitall is faithful to this site as well as myself, and it seems as though we know you, so I'll reply because I feel for you so much.  For the bone pain, I sent my sister a warming blanket to wrap herself in because I was not there to hold her in my arms.  Now that I finally talked her into coming to Texas from Salt Lake, we've been able to give her all the cuddles we want.  She said that the only thing that helped her was that blanket and imagining that we were all there hugging the pain away.  With our prayers and God speed there will be a cure for these little "beasties" and you, my sister, and others won't always have it as the forefront of their minds.  Until then,  keep giving them he((, and those er drs. and nurses a piece of your mind.

A hug,
Karen (lafnatiall's sister)