It sounds like complex grief and prolonged PTSD. I am not a doctor...but if you were my daughter, I would suggest blood work to determine the best antidepressant and anxiety medications that your body is responsive to for some relief. This won't make up for all the loss and pain, but will help you to feel more grounded as you go through trauma and grief counseling once a week. If you had PTSD before...it sounds like it has been activated by the losses. God Bless you and many prayers for some comfort.
Hi Noname; I'm so sorry about your losses. Huggg. You are so strong. SO strong to be dealing with this, and still trying to trudge foreward. You are NOT going insane, and it is natural to feel such sadness , grief and even fear after your mom passed, or anyone of the family for that matter. You have a LOT to live for , you DO. *Huggggg. You have your mom's spirit and life to live for, and she would WANT you to, did you know that???? Here is my suggestion, I have had a LOT of anxiety in past b/c of trauma from my parents (abuse for many years). I started to research how to relieve anxiety (similar to depression). I found Byron Katie, a philosopher and woman who wanted to die herself, who is amazing.. check out her website ok? It is thework.com. It is VERY good. She takes ANY stressful or sad thought, even the thought 'my mom is gone ' (she has done that one) and asks the person to turn it AROUND. To find what the truth really is; which is, my mom is NOT gone. What are ways in which your mom is NOT gone? She is in your heart, she is in the music you hear, she is in everythng... you will be ok friend, you WILL, just remember you need to still function and live and do what YOU want; who knows how much time ANY of us have ?? Be in this moment ONLY. There is no way your mom could not be with you *hugggg.
You aren't alone! I have PSTD from losing my baby brother, who was born 4 months early.
I take Zoloft 200mg/day you are not alone my friend I joined support groups for addictions and mental disorder K