729060 tn?1233565254

Coming to grips with this Disorder

Hi I am new to this forum.  I am 39 yr old Male who has finally been diagnosed with complex PTSD relating to his service in the Royal Australian NAvy during the post 1991 Gulf War.
28 Responses
535822 tn?1443976780
Welcome , How are you feeling and coping with PTSD  your story here will be of interest to us all, and help some of us in our quest to feel better and cope.
471949 tn?1236904026
Welcome and thanks for your service!  As you may have been told by your treating physician, complex PTSD is different than PTSD.  Complex PTSD usually involves much more physical symptoms.
I do hope that your are doing well.  Know that this is a forum filled with folks who understand.
Take care,
729060 tn?1233565254
thanks things are not going well at all as i may have to go back into hospital to do a three week inpatient PTSD course.  Too right about the symptons I have depression, social anxiety, anger management problems just to name a few.  I hope that thhis forum can help me throught this as i ahve tried self harm a few times dure to being unable to cope with this disorder but hopefully that is in the past.
471949 tn?1236904026
I'm sorry to hear that you are not doing well.  I myself have been hospitalized several times for PTSD and it's related symptoms.  Do what you have to do to keep yourself safe.  There are some wonderful PTSD courses out there.  The hospital is definitely a safe place to let it all out.
All of the symptoms you mentioned sound very familiar to me...I can relate all too well.
I'm an Air Force veteran, served 12 years.  Although I did not serve in the Gulf War...I was in Germany during Desert Shield/Storm helping there.  I was stationed there for 8 years.
535822 tn?1443976780
Have they put you on Meds for your depression, I think that the 3 week inpatient course will help you cope,when you get so low you feel like harming your self, (this is going to sound too simple, but worth trying) distract your self even if you dont feel like it, make yourself do a job or take a walk or simply pick up the phone an speak to someone, come on Med Help, the internet ,anything, ground your thoughts, it is ,most time our thoughts that make us feel worse.I have found that visualisation is a help and when I have felt bad I have thought of something beautiful or interesting, a sandy beach an ocean, sailing in a big Yacht. I have had PSTD a couple of times in my adult life but I have to tell you I do believe there is a way to accept it and live with it,and in my case seem to have got rid of it.. Good Luck and chat to you soon  
535822 tn?1443976780
Please also know that the forum is for everyones story and experience , whether you get therapy or not it is and has been invaluable to me to be able to give in -put to others and recieve it back,do not be intimidated in putting your feelings on this Forum.
Avatar universal
We are all grateful for your service.I am greatly sadden to learn of your difficulty.

PTSD cannot be overcome through time, mind control, etc. Therapy, sometimes combined with medication, is essential. Also, the more genuine, long term support that one has, also increases therapeutic benefits. Exercise and nutrition are also therapeutic, as are relaxation exercises, journaling, and reading literature by/about other survivors' healing. Group therapy can be an excellent support to individual therapy, so that we can witness the healing of others and know that we are normal and that we have had normal reactions to horrific experiences.
492898 tn?1222243598
JKJ: 'The hospital is definitely a safe place to let it all out.'
I hope, braddels, that this will be a place, the hospital, that will help you, as I do not agree that all hospitals are a safe place to let it out at all.  I have never been to a place specifically for PTSD.
But when I was last hospitalized on a general psychiatric unit I was not even allowed to 'talk about it'. Someone said that they are aware that I had a bad experience, and I immediately started on how terrible...... I should mention that I am hardly a negative person and I think it was perhaps the first time in my life I really blurted this out. When I later looked at my charts, it said I had 'borderline features', and I swear it was because of that incident. I merely was not allowed to talk about 'it', and I think the reason was that this involved a hospital and an MD, and so the subject was 'off limits'.

Anyway, this is my first time here on this forum as well. For me, the PTSD, and I would also say it was complex, with more acute PTSD on top of it, it did get better over the years. (First it got worse from betrayal) The intervals are shorter and I get over them faster.

But what i really wanted to say in terms of saying something helpful is, that I found most of the real help I needed in the very last places, and from the very last people I expected to get it from. So, be open to that idea. I think I can say that I got more help from non-professionals than from shrinks.

So much for now.

PS: Unfortunately, visualization and distraction, and that stuff didn't work for me at all, because, and I don't knoiw if you agree, the purpose for the self abuse is to 'feel' when you feel nothing, or to feel better when you feel horrible. The purpose is not to hurt yourself?
Avatar universal
Kat has brought up an excellentpoint about hospitals. Be on guard until you know the therapist is sincere. I hope it is a fantastically healing place for you. Also, be on guard everywhere.

Happily, I once found great help from a single sentence from a person with a similar experience. She described how mentally ill my surgeon is. I knew then, that my reaction to him was normal.

There are good shrinks and bad ones, just like there are good and bad doctors. But don't give up.
Avatar universal
Hi! I too want to thank all who have served. I just wanted to say, I do not think I have ever met anyone who did not have mental illness at one time or another in their lifetime, have you? We can share based on what our experiences have been but I am leary of playing doctor and advising you that way. You can also find multitudes of articles on the subject if you choose to, so I will just say, the only thing I have to offer you is a shoulder and an ear and a prayr. I am here if you need to talk.
729060 tn?1233565254
Today is what i call a depression session i stayed in bed most of teh day as it was the safest place for me.  I don't know why it happened today but it did My wife thinks it is due to having a big weekend and very luittle sleep also I am trybibng very hard to not get angry alll the time over the small stuff.  I am still waiting for admission to hospital.  The hospital where i am going is called St John of God and they have a ward dedicated to PTSD Patients.  a lot of this has come about thanks to those guys who serve3d in vietnam.  Over here in Australia they have a very powerful voice and it gets heard at the very highest level; in goverment.  i am glad that i ahve got those veterans to help me through the tough times when medications don't seem to work and teh little voices in my head try to take control.  Thank you for you comments and support
535822 tn?1443976780
Good luck in the hospital will you get use of a PC there or allowed your lap top, it would be good to hear how you are doing,your wife could have been right I know when I felt worse it was after I had had a good time, which was kind of a contradiction, sometimes you can exhaust your self.I have heard Australia has a good record on helping Vets, hasnt been that way here I am afraid . Good luck, feel better soon
753469 tn?1233609938
I am so sorry that you are going through a rough time. You are in my thoughts. I have been diagnosed with this disorder due to past issues of abuse. You can read my story - its pathetic. I am going through hell. If there is anything that you can tell me that you have learned in your classes I would really appreciate it. Each day for me is such a struggle with my own emotions.
I know for me its baby steps all the way.  I am suffering from night tremors where I wake up and I am being attacked by my ex with an axe (this really happened). There are days when I am so afraid to go to sleep.
I go through periods where I think I am getting better then I dont feel like getting out of bed because I am so exhausted.
I really hope that one day you can be at peach with what all you have been through.

Take care
753469 tn?1233609938
I meant that I hope you can be at peace with yourself.
Ha I spelled peace (peach)
729060 tn?1233565254
Thank you for your kind words and support I gathered that you meant peace when I read your post
729060 tn?1233565254
Still waiting to hear when i will be admitted to hospital for the PTSD inpatient program.  Thiings are getting to me at the moment as I am getting a little bit angrier and depressed.  i spent most of last weeek in bed unable to drag myself out of it as the world didn't look like a nice place to be in.  I am incontrol of my suicidal thoughts and this is taking its toll on me - making me very tired both mentally and physicallly but it will not let them overtake my thinking.  i have been short with Sam the past few days and we have been arguing a bit mostly over my lask of compassion towards her as she has her problems as well - I am only thinking of me and my problems (narsistic behaviours).
Avatar universal
Braddel, This may sound insane to you, but when you feel like you cannot get out of bed, get out! Do not give in to those feelings or you will be left feeling even more miserable. Get up, shower, get dressed even tho you do not want to! Go for a walk, listen to music, do something to get your mind out of that deep dark hole! Call someone to chat with who is supportive or come here! We will support you! Hugs!
535822 tn?1443976780
Thats what we do best lend an ear , teko is right   distract your self I know it works, I have done it many times ,I know its hard to do when you just feel like laying in bed, but you can do it,its our thoughts that cause us so much bother ,if we can switch them off or learn to ....make it a habit, I used to panic when I went into a store my heart would pound and I felt I had to get out or I would die.. I read a book called "Slowing Down to the Speed of life" and one particular part tells about our thoughts and how they can make this happen,I found myself challenging myself to stay in the store and said"What can Happen' " 'This will pass" distraction really helps also. I know that this sounds very simple,.. too simple but it will help when you have nothing else and if you are waiting to get the help you need you may aswell try it. Good luck
Avatar universal
My heart goes out to you. I want to know what therapy options that governments provide for veterans who suffer from PTSd. I can research that, but amy input you have is so valuable.

Since this forum deals with severe/lomg term PTsd, from extended of severe abause as a child, or from war experiences/other highly traumatic experiences, I felt that we could discuss how availability/ need for resources for quality therapy affect recovery.

I am a survivor of long term childhood abuse, and the other purpose of forums like this is to discuss how similarites/differences in recovery/trauma issues can help us to help   each other, through insight and understanding of each other's challenges.

Therapy is central and essential for recovery from  complex/long term PTSD, and sharing can be used to identify individual needs and issues, making recovery from these issues more likely.
535822 tn?1443976780
I think it is fairly reasonable to think of yourself when you feel so low , tell your self you will feel better soon,once you get that help, I have felt very bad in between traumas yet have always come out of it again, and stronger ,.Hope you hear something soon mean while hang in there
727417 tn?1265038482
We share a common bond. I was in the United States Navy. I have also been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my military career and other things that have happened to me in the past. It took me some time to fully understand and come to terms with having PTSD. I often find myself looking back and asking myself "why" but I never seem to find the answers to any of my questions. But the one thing that I do know is that everything happens to us for a reason.

There have been days where I just don't want to get out of bed, that if I just stay there that I will be fine; but the thing is by staying in bed, I am not fine- I have given in to my depression and that makes me even more depressed. Then I remember what I have to do and that is get up and face the day, and it makes me feel better for doing that.

Take care and remember that you can do anything that you put your mind to.
535822 tn?1443976780
Did you get into Hospital ,Braddels, this forum has gone quiet maybe all are on vacation,, but some  are still around , I think , how are you doing are you coping okay and feeling somewhat better?
535822 tn?1443976780
I am sure your words brought comfort to Braddels, how are you doing now ,you seem to have a handle on how to cope,I indersatnd where you are coming from as I have managed to help myself aswell,it diesnt entirely go way but I can cope now and I accepted that some days I would have a fight on.and I dont let it get on top of me, I think Braddels will get to that point also, when he is ready.
727417 tn?1265038482
I am still fighting, but I have an amazing support system in my husband and other family members- like my Aunt. I look back at everything and the main thing that I realized is that if I do not accept it then I was not going to get better. But with that reality came a fear of not being accepted by others and I realized that that is all that it was was a fear and nothing more. My husband as accepted me and is helping me. But it is something that we will all face when we are ready to.
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