Sleeping with 14 year old son, appropiate or not?

[a_few_queries]

Hello, I just have a question pertaining to my GF and her 14 year old son. She has been a single Mom for half of her son's life and then got married when the boy was at age seven (Her ex-husband was not his biological father). Obviously she has now gotten a divorce and we met early on in her seperation from her ex-husband (alittle over a year ago). I have noticed that on occassion her 14 year old boy sleeps with her whenever I'm not there (I work nights four days out of a week) and recently - in the last week or two - this behavior has somewhat increased. He has slept with her probably three or four nights that I haven't been there over that time frame. I feel uncomfortable with that situation occurring, mainly because of the child's age but also because neither one of them (especially my GF) seem uncomfortable with it. Furthering more background to this is the fact that the boy is more sexualized for his age then some other kids that I know in his age group. Also in her previous relationship with her ex-husband, the boy would try and sleep together with them and be forced by the ex-husband to sleep on the floor in their bedroom, right up until the boy was roughly 12-13 years old, when finally he slept in his own room. Finally, my GF did confide in me that one night last summer, he did enter her (our) room and tried to "imitate" me while she was sleeping - talking in a low voice, calling her by her name rather than as just "Mom" and some other things that I did find disturbing. I feel that I'm not over-reacting to this and I haven't brought it up with her yet, but feel that maybe alittle honest feedback would help me before I decide on what my next action should or shouldn't be.

[crayons123]

THIS IS WRONG WRONG WRONG....my ss also of the same age,,his mother is creepy like this too. Sleeping in bed and holding hands in public,,,kissing on the mouth also. Makes me sick.

We have told the 14 year old this is NOT normal behavior but the mother wont stop.
She no longer has custody.

[Heidi2277]

Holding his hand, and a little kiss on the mouth means what exactly?
We are Italian and this is perfectly normal in my culture.
Some of you are obviously busy bodies wrapped a little too tight!

[kara66]

wtf.

[nean_bean]

it all depends on the way his mother raised him. for example im a 15 year old girl and i hate when my mom touches me and i dont even know my dad. i refuse to even sleep in the same rooms as either of them. so, sleeping in the same bed is her could just be because he has a strong connection with his mother. however, its a psychological disease to be in love with your own parent. i would say some counseling, or even a psychiatrist, would be beneficial.

[blujay12]

Sounds pretty odd to me, that a 14 year old boy would want to sleep in bed with your girlfriend. Is he doing anything sexual? I understand that a mother would like to cuddle with her child no matter what age they are. Sometimes I sleep in the same bed as my 13 year old daughter as well. (FYI, I am her mother). I think that the only thing that matters is the boy's intent. Is he trying to be sexual? Or is he just wanting to be closer to his mother? Honestly, I don't think it's appropriate for him to be in there every night. I only sleep with my daughter in the same bed like every once in awhile when she's feeling sad or if she's freaking out over a thunder storm or something.

[Totie]

My opinion.

Not appropriate behaviour IN ANY WAY, NO EXCUSE FOR IT.

There are issues there..

[Peach1978]

Hey there,

I am amazed at some of the responses to your query. I do not think this is appropriate behaviour. If you are worried about it also - I say trust your instincts. You were concerned enough about it to seek help for it. If you don't believe me, talk to a therapist, a psychologist and definitely do this before you are married. The boy SHOULD NOT feel comfortable "trying" to make out with his mom. No no, not good at all.